Bachelorette Rachel: Episode 8

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Bachelorette Recaps / Uncategorized

Ok, we’re 9 minutes out from when the episode ended, so I’m still mad.  The feelings are fresh and raw and I’m cranky.  It was a two hour show tonight for four hometown dates.  The first three dates were in the first hour and the last date and four minute rose ceremony was the last hour, so I imagine I’ll be focusing my attention of this blog similarly.

Date One: Baltimore, MD with Eric

I like Eric.  I think he brings out a side of Rachel that is fun and happy, but also real.  I could see them working out (hint: I’ll not be saying that about everyone).

They hang out in town and see where Eric grew up, including the basketball court where he spent so much of his youth.  She shoots hoops with him in heels and makes it look easy.  She meets Ralph, who is Eric’s “A1”, which I thought was a steak sauce.  I don’t know if it’s a friend or a brother, but Rachel makes a great impression as usual.

They chat and Rachel asks Eric when he last brought a girl home.  Prom.  She freaks out a bit, but pulls it together.

Meeting the family goes great.  Rachel talks to a woman older than Eric’s mom, I am assuming grandma, and she seems to love Rachel and tells her that Eric is definitely ready to settle down.  Rachel talks to mom next who is slightly less enthusiastic, but still polite and friendly and appears to enjoy Rachel.

Eric talks to his mom and tells her that he loves her unconditionally, no matter how his childhood was.

Eric talks to his dad and says he learned by seeing what he and his uncle did on the streets and when he was fifteen he made a promise to himself that he would go the opposite way and he stuck to his promise.

Everyone gets along great and after the family time Eric tells Rachel that he realized to himself I’m in love with this girl.  Me, I take that to mean that he loves her.  Rachel does not because it is not the three words said directly to her.  If it’s not that, don’t even waste your time.

So to sum up date one: I like Eric.

Date Two: Miami, FL with Bryan

Rachel says that Miami reminds her of Bryan because it is hot, steamy, and sexy and sometimes speaks Spanish.  What?  Ok.

The two lovebirds spend some time at a Domino park and then try the authentic cuisine– corn tortilla with shredded beef.

Rachel cautiously tells the camera that she remembers why it didn’t work with Bryan and his last girlfriend– because she couldn’t get along with his mom.  Rachel admits she is a wee bit nervous to meet mom.  Bryan preps Rachel by reminding her that he is an only child and that this is a big deal. No pressure, Rach.

** Sidenote: are they doing shots of fireball in the driveways and we are just not seeing it? Because I don’t think that’s the worst idea.**

They arrive and are greeted with hugs all around.  They sit at the table and mom makes a toast right away to the ‘most precious thing she has in her life’ and then she cries.  It is easier for me if I pretend she is two bottles in, ala Jojo’s mom from Ben’s season.

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It is time for Bryan’s mom, Olga to have her chat with Rachel.

Mom is cordial, yet FIRM.

Mom: When a woman marries a man, she marries his family.

Rachel: I completely agree.  Bryan would be a part of my family too.

Mom: *Death glare*

Amy: Have fun deciding which family you will visit for what holidays.  Spoiler alert: it will be all Olga, all the time. It’s Olga’s way or Olga’s way.

Mom: If Bryan is happy, I am happy.  If Bryan is not happy, I’ll kill you.

Rachel: laughs at obvious joke.

Mom: stone cold face.  (Because it kind of takes away from the seriousness of the death threat if you laugh at the end, duh.)

Olga cries waterless tears to the camera.

It’s time for Olga and Bryan to talk.  She starts by mentioning the number of girls he has met.  “You have met so many girls.  SOOO many girls, yet you go on this show and suddenly this one is the one? I am shocked.  I can not believe.”

“No matter what, mother is mother.  BLOOD is BLOOD.”  Sounds supportive to me.

Run Rachel!

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Rachel talks to another woman (obviously not a sister, maybe an aunt, cousin, friend, esthetician, family pharmacist?) who makes it clear that Bryan’s last girlfriend was super selfish and wanted Bryan all for herself!

Amy: So, she didn’t want Bryan to be dating his mom?  Weird.

Date ends, Bryan tells Rachel that he loves her using the magic words in the proper order and therefore Rachel is thrilled.

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Date Three: Madison, WI with Peter

They happily greet each other and then start by walking through the Saturday Farmer’s Market.  Rachel loves it.

They go to a restaurant and I’m a little confused as to why the two of them are in a giant booth.  Peter tells her that she is meeting some of his friends.  She promptly says, “I’m leaving.”  I get it. Meeting friends is way scary.

Peter takes his dude friends away to chat.  He tells them that the thought of getting down on one knee in three weeks and proposing is f’ing terrifying and that he only wants to do it once.  He explains that he has no idea what she would be like outside of this show.  They explain that they too think this is rational and logical thinking on his part.  I agree.

It mostly went like this:

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Peter and Rachel head off to meet his family.  The main topic of conversation is “is he ready to propose?”  His mom tells Rachel that he is definitely ready for a commitment, but maybe it wouldn’t be a ring.  PS– Rachel has made it clear that this is unacceptable!

Peter is adorable with his niece.  Rachel thinks he would be a great dad.  But can she date him for a few months and then have him propose? No.

Peter’s mom tells him that whatever decision he makes she will support him no matter what.  So basically exactly what Olga said.

Date Four: Aspen, CO with Dean

I said it in the opening, but let me remind you that at the point in the show when we hit this date, the last date, there was exactly one whole hour left.  If you as well watch the clock while watching the show, you knew too that this date must be the most dramatic date ever!

It was.

Ever.

Poor, poor, poor Dean.  Whichever producer forced him into making this happen, I’m mad at you too.

Dean adorably waves to Rachel when he greets her!  Big smiles.  He is somehow almost pulling off Burgundy skinny jeans, which is worth noting.

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They ride ATV’s and Dean is secretly hoping he crashes and can avoid this evening.

Afterwards he decides he must prep her for the evening.

Dean: This is all about you.  So you can see where I grew up.  I haven’t seen my dad in two years.

Rachel: But why? Have you tried? I know nothing about this relationship or anything, but let me quick tell you how to live your life and what to do.

Dean asks her if it is in fact all on him to try to mend a relationship.  Her answer is mostly, YES.  Neat. Dean is pumped.

He throws out a few other quick little facts: My dad’s name is Paranrube.  Rachel asks what he wants her to call him– Paranrube.  He is some kind of a yogi Sikh- not a relative to the bear apparently.  He wears a turban and has a beard down to his belly button (also known as a navel chakra– I learned that this episode).  His name means divinely beautiful and is a self given name.  This is a new name as of the last six years and it is not the father he grew up with.  Paranrube’s wife is named Centaurtaur.  For ease of pronunciation she would like to be called Centaurtaur.

They approach the house.  Dean’s face is quite similar to what I believe mine was walking into my colonoscopy.  I’m certain Dean would have preferred a colonoscopy, actually.

Dean reminds Rachel that this is not a good representation of who he is.  Upbeat and positive Dean tells Rachel, “I’m not nervous, I’m terrified.  This is going to be awful.”

All I can think is that the producers did everything in their power to make this happen.

They walk in to find everyone sitting on the floor.  Dean quickly asks about the absence of the table, dad mentions they don’t have one anymore.  Paranrube welcomes them and says he is excited to play the gong for them to do a cleansing.

The camera pans to Dean.

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In order for the gong ceremony to work they must all be laying down with their head pointed in the direction of the gong.  What’s worse than a faulty gong ceremony?

At this point I have deduced that Dean is about nine shots behind to be able to make it through this evening.  Rachel loved the energy from the gong ceremony.  I laid down on the floor with my head pointed towards the gong too to borrow the energy.  That’s a lie.  I didn’t have the energy to get off the couch.

Dad says that before his wife died she said feathers was her thing so he got feathers for everyone.  He cries while saying this and says she was the most amazing woman in the world, except his current wife of course.  Centaurtaur bows.

Next up is a dinner of mung beans and rice.  Dad asks Dean if he likes it and he responds that it is delicious, but he only wishes he would have not eaten prior to arriving.  Dad is mad.  Dean is thinking about what he’s gonna order when he drives through taco bell on his way home.

Dad asks if he and Dean can talk.  A good response at this point would have been, “no, but thanks for asking.”  Unfortunately, Dean tries to be a grown-up, probably due to Rachel’s snooty speech earlier.

Dad starts out by complimenting Dean that he is speaking from his navel chakra, good for you.  Dad points out that Dean seems to have turned out ok, so that must mean he’s a great dad.  Dean’s eye is starting to twitch and bulge out of his head.  He not-so-calmly asks if he in fact believes he was a good dad.  Dad is defensive.  Dean says it would have been great if they could have all come together as a family after mom died since it sucked for all of them, as well as a few other ideas about it would have been great if dad could have been there to talk, etc.  Now dad is getting really mad.  Centaurtaur is in the background rolling out the gong as she sees there will be a cleansing necessary soon.  (I made that part up, but she probably was.)

Dad: In my teaching, we believe whatever you think about the other person is you.  So whatever you think about me is really how you feel about yourself.

Dean: takes a drink.  The mung bean beer is not doing the trick though, clearly.

Dad: My dad left, the son-of-a-bitch.

Amy: Wait! Does that mean since dad think’s his dad was a son-of-a-bitch that he is also one?

Dad: You’re making bold statements that I wasn’t there.

Dean: You admitted you weren’t there.

Dad: Absolutely!

Dean: So how is it a bold statement if it’s true?

Dad: *gets bleaped out a bunch, clearly not navel chakra talk* and walks off.

Dean: I love you regardless!

Dad: whatever

Amy: GET DEAN A FLASK! And a donut, and a pizza, and cake, and a HUG!

It’s Rachel’s turn to talk to Paranrube.  She asks if she can talk to him to which he responds, “if you must”.  **How much money did ABC give this guy?** Rachel suggests they talk over by the fire, but dad says that actually, he is really kind of done.  She tries to be polite and diplomatic.  Finally he tells her that Dean is an incredible man and that her relationship with Paranrube in some ways is through Dean.

Amy: Image result for in english baxter you know

At this point Paranrube raps it up with a simple, “No, no, I regret” and off he goes after first telling Rachel that she is welcome back there if their relationship continues.  She gets out her calendar to quick pencil in the next visit.

Rachel goes inside to find Dean falling apart.  I feel just awful for him.  He is still processing through the pain of his mom dying and his whole family falling apart.  He tells Rachel he is falling in love with her and she responds she is falling in love with him too.  (We learn later that in Rachel land, this does not count as an official ‘I love you’).

Rose Ceremony… from Hell (I’m still mad)

Rachel tells Chris Harrison that she is falling in love with all four men.  Lies.  She cries dry tears.  She also tells him that only Bryan said he is in love with her.  I yell at the tv.  She might be a lawyer, but she is a horrible detective.

Rose 1: Bryan

Rose 2: Eric

Rose 3: Peter

Amy: NOOOOO! Please don’t do this to poor, poor Dean! You are an evil woman.

She walks him out and he is shocked.  She tells him she just didn’t think he was ready for the commitment.  He jumps in and says that he told her he was falling in love with her and she said it back.  She tells him that she meant it, too.  LIAR, LIAR, formal gown on FIRE! She meant everything she said to him. Really? yet, every person in Peter’s family and Peter himself said he is not ready to propose.

What a stupid show.  At this point, the only person I could see her being with is Eric, so she will surely pick Brian and Olga.  I guess that is Brolga.

In the rejection limo Dean is shocked and said he thought he finally found someone for him.  (I’m secretly hoping this is his Bachelor audition tape).

Either way, I’m off to stalk him on social media and see if he is ok, because what a super fun week for him!

The remaining 3 head to Spain next week to meet Rachel’s family.  There appears to be drama in the previews, but no gong.

Hang in there, folks.

~Delightful and witty beauty (my new self given name)

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Adventure: It’s Not All About You

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Smile Makers / Uncategorized

The world is full of adventure.  Perhaps you have a chronic illness, like me, and your days of adventuring might be on pause at the moment, but that doesn’t mean that you can’t find another to follow along with and enjoy!

This Spring/Summer I followed a fun and unique adventure across America and I thought I would share my favorite points with y’all.

Julian Redman, who went to the same high school as me, rode his custom-made Penny Farthing bike from San Francisco to Boston.  His plan was to follow the path of Thomas Stevens, the first person to ride a bike across America, in 1884.  Julian’s bike is a replica of Stevens’ bike.

Now, to clarify, I won’t be including every word he wrote and picture he took, but you can certainly check out his website:   https://www.offofyourrocker.com/in-for-a-penny-farthing for more!

Here is an excerpt of Julian describing his plan (for the rest of this blog, I will use italics anytime they are Julian’s words):

Penny-farthing [pen-ee-fahr-thing]: noun, British

1. The precursor to the modern day bicycle, celebrated today primarily for its high front wheel and usefulness in b-roll footage for old timey films synced to Scott Joplin piano pieces. Historically remembered as a terrifying way to see new and up-close bits of road due to its propensity for sending the rider head first over the handlebars and for being considered a little sketchy in an era that thought it was totally cool to have cocaine in Coca-Cola and lead in silverware. See also: boneshaker (colloquial); really, really stupid (Julian’s mother, 2017).

Starting next month, using his journal as my map, I’ll be chasing the ghost of Thomas Stevens across America, riding my own penny-farthing through a country where prosperous, gold mining hubs have been replaced by derelict ghost towns, where bumpy, country roads have been paved over by highways, and where the fabric of who we are as a country has been largely lost to the haze of history. From San Francisco to Boston, I’ll attempt to step into the past to compare what Steven’s saw and wrote about with my own experiences and celebrate the legacy left by a man who grew much better facial hair than I can ever hope to.

Finally, a parting quote by Mark Twain on the penny-farthing: “Get a bicycle. You won’t regret it – if you live.”

 

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Now, it is worth pointing out that his bike has no gears, no lights, and no brakes.  What could go wrong? I tend to agree with his mama.

But, How Did He Pack?

It’s a fair question.  First it must be mentioned what Stevens packed back in 1884.  He wore a basic white long sleeve shirt, white trousers, and knee-high gaiters.  He wore white to help with sun protection.  He had a rain jacket strapped to his bike to double as a tent if he couldn’t find a lovely brothel, I mean.. accommodation for the night.  Safety first when riding cross country so he wore a pith helmet to protect his head.  Stevens also had a revolver in his pack, as well as an extra shirt and spare socks.

Julian also mentioned this fun fact though regarding some differences in ability to restock supplies along the way:

Along the route Stevens followed in 1884, more towns could be found along the way than today, as many of the small railroad towns dried up and disappeared after the railroad was diverted in the early 1900’s. As such, Stevens was able to restock his essential supplies daily and sleep in hotels or people’s homes almost nightly, and the longest stretch of road without civilization that he had to encounter was a 40 mile segment in Nevada – an area he dubbed The 40 Mile Wilderness.

The 40 mile wilderness still exists today, but the longest distance I’ll have to travel without any towns, people, or services for the same route today is 100 miles. Twice. 

Julian wore the following for his journey:

Not one to buck tradition, I am also wearing a pith helmet, but the similarities stop there. To fight against the morning sun and to create a beautiful canvas for dead bugs, I’ll be wearing sunglasses. A moisture wicking shirt as my base layer will help to keep me cool during the hot, muggy days of the summer, and also provides UV protection from the sun. A Kühl rain jacket serves as an outer layer in cooler locales and helps keep me dry. Padded bike gloves will keep my hands from experiencing the massive shocks that the bike will be subjected to and finally, padded bike shorts will help to alleviate saddle sores and keep my bottom from being pulverized hamburger meat.

Julian also took a camera bag with camera, lenses, batteries, and his laptop.  He continued to keep up with his job and work along the way in between his ride.

Back to the Journey

He started by dipping the tires of the Penny Farthing in the Pacific ocean, with the hopes and intention of dipping the tires in the Atlantic once he reached the other side of the country.

In Newcastle, California he was flagged down by an elderly gentleman who owned the oldest building in town.  He opened it up just for Julian to give a tour and a free beer and meal.

May 24th – Hello Auburn. I hate every single one of your hills.

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May 25th- How many Ibuprofen do you need to take before you overdose? Asking for a friend.

May 25th- Overlooking Donner Lake, outside of Truckee

6,000 feet of elevation gain, snowed out routes, and tough switchbacks, but worth it for views like these!

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May 27th- I’ve made it through treacherous downhill switchbacks on the Sierra Nevadas. I’ve made it through perilous Bay Area traffic. I haven’t crashed until today. What force of nature finally caused the first header? A freaking goose. This trip is stupid.

May 29th- Outside Beowawe, Nevada: Today’s highlighted stop: Maiden’s Grave Cemetery, outside of Beowawe. In the 1860’s, a woman named Lucinda Duncan was buried here after falling ill on a wagon train to California. She was believed to be a little girl in Stevens’ time, but it turns out she was a 70 year old grandmother. At any rate, men who discovered her grave in the 1870’s thought it was “romantic”, and built a fence around the grave to protect it from coyotes. With time, it became an intrinsic part of the California Trail and a popular place to bury the remains of lost friends and family along the way. It’s mostly forgotten about these days and a bit tough to get to, but it’s one of the few times I can say so far that I stood exactly where Stevens did and watched his words come to life.

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May 30th- Two states officially down now! Original route I wanted to take was flooded and washed out, so I got to play in the Bonneville Salt Flats today instead. Used today as an international speedway and test track, but back around Stevens time, it was known as “one of the most inhospitable places on Earth” due to the complete lack of vegetation and drinkable water, but with an abundance of thick mud that the wagons would just sink into. In fact, it was the main reason the Donner Party was late to the Sierra Nevadas in 1846 – the party lost almost all of their oxen, supplies, and wagons thanks to the flats – leaving them late and unprepared for the mountains to come. Luckily, I’m traveling the other direction.

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June 2nd included a little pep talk from John Wayne himself!

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June 2nd- Rock Springs, Wyoming: Celebratory shot of whiskey- I’ve officially ridden 1000 miles now!

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June 4th- Oh thank God, it’s starting to flatten out. I was starting to come up with creative suicide techniques. Only a day or so from the Nebraska border!

June 6th- Perfect sunset on a great day. Only went 20 miles, and got to spend a day alone by a lake with some coronas and a steak. Tough to beat that! I’ll be taking Nebraska slower than I’ve been going, in order to relax a bit more and to allow my knees, feet, and back some time to recuperate; the fast pace through the mountains wore them down quite a bit. Thanks everyone for your support – we’re almost halfway there now!

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By the way, I think this here photo is my favorite of the trip!

June 7th- I’m beginning to suspect Nebraska is a trap. After weeks of fighting through mountains, I was very much looking forward to the promised land of flat, smooth highway as far as the eye could see. I should have been more specific with my wishes. Nebraska, I’m fine with you being boring and full of nothing but grass and corn. I can handle that. But constant headwinds and crazy storms is not really the trade-off I was shooting for here!

June 12th- Frequently Asked Questions that Julian gets on the road, edition 1: how do you ride that thing day in and day out like that? What is it that’s motivating you?
Answer? Easy. This, 100%:

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June 13th- Avoca, Iowa: Oh thank goodness, my legs were just telling me how much they missed hills! 🙄Thanks for the thoughtful welcoming gift, Iowa!

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June 14th- Adair, Iowa

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June 17th- Princeton, Illinois- Big Midwest storm rolling in.

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June 27th- Niagara Falls, New York

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July 3rd- It’s a very bitter-sweet feeling, but tomorrow will lead me to Revere Beach in Boston and mark the final day on the penny-farthing adventure across America. Over the past 43 days, I’ve seen the gauntlet of what America has to offer. From breathtaking vistas to incredible people, this stupid trip has been an experience I’ll only forget when Alzheimer’s kicks in and leaves me simply with a half-faded memory of a goose attack in Reno.

However, this stupid trip is not my stupid trip. It’s ours. Every one of you who gave me support, offered me food, shelter, words of encouragement, water, beer, and so much more along the way have impacted me and this adventure in profound and real ways and without that, it wouldn’t have been the amazing experience it was.

July 4th- Revere Beach- Game. Set. Match. 44 days and 3,333 miles later, the penny-farthing has been dipped in both oceans. Thanks for following along everyone.

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My Pressing Questions.. Answered by Julian

1. What did you miss the most during your 44-day expedition?

I missed quite a few obvious things like friends, family, and comfortable seating arrangements, but the most surprising thing I missed was spontaneity.  You wouldn’t think it, but life on the bike was actually often more routine and mundane than a typical day at home.  Every day you spend coaxing yourself out of a bed that is too comfortable to leave at an hour that nobody has any business being awake during to pedal for 8-10 hours before you get off. Wash, rinse, repeat. There’s certainly a lot of newness in there too – the scenery is different from day to day (unless you’re in Nebraska) and there’s always something new to experience at each stop – but the large majority of the trip is just a repetitive routine of trying to make yourself pedal for just a bit longer.

2. Were there ever any moments that you wished you had a revolver in your backpack?

Ha! Yes, but only to use on myself during some of the more challenging moments.

3. Did any strangers offer you their home as an accommodation?

Absolutely.  I stayed with people all over the country that I had never met before, from big cities like Chicago and Des Moines to tiny towns like Little Falls, NY and Truckee, CA.  The generosity showed to me on this trip was really a refreshing wake-up call to how the vast majority of people in the world are good, kind people who would take the clothes off of their own backs to help a stranger.  These same people also fed me, gave me tours of the area, fixed my bike, held important mail for me, and n some cases, provided much needed medical assistance for me. 

4. Did you buy any teeny tiny souvenirs on your trip?

When I got to Cooperstown, New York, I came across a bar/beverage exchange that had a guy riding a penny-farthing as their logo so I, naturally, had to buy a bottle opener from them with their logo on it.

5. Before you left, which part were you dreading the most? Did it end up being the worst?

When I was planning the trip, I figured the Rockies would be the toughest part to get through.  The elevation gain looked intimidating from all of the road profiles I read and knew that it’d be at least a few days before I got through it all.  And you know what? It actually wasn’t that bad.  There was indeed a lot of elevation gain, but the grade was gradual and the weather was cool, meaning I could actually ride a good portion of it without completely exhausting myself.  The worst part of the trip, riding wise, came in the Sierra Nevadas where the grades were steep, the roads had no shoulders, and the snow covered parts of the path. 

6. Was anyone mean to you, I mean besides the goose?

Nope. The people I met were the absolute best part of this experience.  I had literally hundreds of people stop their cars on the road just to talk to me, ask me questions, give me food/water/beer, and encouragement along the way.  I didn’t have a single negative experience with anyone I met. 

7. Do you have a love/hate relationship with your Penny Farthing now?

Ooooh, absolutely.  I’ll never be able to get rid of the thing- we’ve been through an awful lot together and it’s still fun to ride over short distances.  But make no mistake: that adventure was physically, mentally, and emotionally the toughest thing I’ve ever been through and you don’t make it through something like that without some lingering feelings of resentment. 

8. Were the bottles on your bike ever filled with whiskey or beer, instead of water?

Nope, water is he nectar of the Gods out there on a trip like this and I needed as much as I could get.  That said, I did have 3 mini bottles of Jameson whiskey that I saved and cracked open on special occasions – one when I hit the 1,000 mile mark, one at the halfway point, and one once I hit Boston. 

9. Be honest, did you ever camp in a Walmart parking lot?

I camped in quite a few bizarre places, but never the Walmart parking lot.  Sadly, the pavement parking lot makes it hard to drive in tent stakes.  But I did manage to camp underneath railroad trestles, on the side of a mountain just above a freeway, in a field surrounded by fireflies, and in the foundation of a hotel from a deserted ghost town. 

10. Do you have another adventure on the horizon?

Always.  Short term, I need to rest my knee up (it took quite the beating on this trip), get healthy, and replenish my savings account a bit, but once that happens and the Wanderlust properly sets back in, I’ll be jumping into the next thing, whatever that may be.  I’ve got a few ideas, just not sure which I’m going to run with yet. 

** all photos used were personal photos of Julian’s from his website and Facebook account. **

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Bachelorette Rachel: Episode 7

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Bachelorette Recaps / Uncategorized

I guess this is Episode 7.

The gang travels to Geneva, Switzerland because it too is the perfect place to fall in love.  Rachel comes to tell the guys that there will be 3 one-on-one dates this week and a three-on-one date.  There is a rose available on each date.  The four with roses will be receiving hometown dates next week.

**Where is Chris Harrison?  Did he not come to Geneva? Is he secretly wanted in Switzerland? He doesn’t make an appearance all episode.**

Rachel and Bryan’s One-on-One

Rachel and Bryan enjoy a super duper lavish and fancy date.  They take a Bentley convertible and go to a Breitling watch store.  She ‘buys’ him a fancy watch and herself one too.   I think the bands even matched.  Why? Because, when in Geneva.

They take a boat ride next then picnic with champagne.  They talk a tiny bit and then resort to their regular– making out.

At dinner they have some deeper conversation.  He says he asked for an earring in fourth grade which convinced his parents he was clearly going down the wrong road so they sent him off to an all-boys school.  He says his last relationship ended because his girlfriend and his mom couldn’t compromise and she broke up with him because of his mom.  Eeek.

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How bad was mom? Or did Bryan have a mommy issue? This evidently doesn’t scare Rachel since she gives him the rose.  Cue the violinists.  They play a song which leads to dancing and making out.

Rachel and Dean’s One-on-One

Now, maybe Dean’s date shown without Bryan’s right before would have seemed ok, but shown right after his date, it definitely sucked.  She takes him to a Catholic mass that is all in French.  She is not catholic and neither of them speak French, so this will obviously be enjoyable, not to mention romantic.

After church they wander the streets and then settle at a café of some sort to talk serious.  Dean has been mentally freaking out all date long because he is very worried about Rachel potentially meeting his family.

She tries to get him to talk.  He responds with things like this:

  • Do you believe in the tooth fairy?
  • What’s your favorite dinosaur? CHICKEN NUGGET I yell!
  • You’re so pretty.

Rachel is not amused.  She is serious.  Dude, get it together.

At dinner she tells him that she planned this date with the intention of talking and today was weird.  He giggles and says it was weird.

He finally tells her that he is very worried about taking her to meet his family.  He says he wishes that she could meet the family he had from ages 0-15, not his current family, which is just so sad.  He explains that his dad is eccentric (which from the looks of the previews for next week appears to be an understatement).

She gives him the rose.

Rachel and Peter’s One-on-One

Peter shows up to a field in a minivan.  He gets out of the minivan to greet her by the helicopter.  She executes the jump and straddle.  They jump in and fly to the Alps.  As they are flying, a camera shot is shown looking into the helicopter window.  He either points to something out the window or grabs her boob.  We’ll never know I guess.

She reminds him that he was the first one-on-one and now is the last too.  He says it’s been a long time and he’s been in his head.

They land and take a dog sled ride.  We see later after the show that apparently a dog was pooping while running.  Peter mentions he can only run a mile then he has to stop to poop too.  Ok.

They sit in the freezing cold and talk.  She is shaking all over and he has icicles in his hair.  They then lay down and makeout laying on the ice and snow.  Hot tub.  Ask the ABC intern to find a hot tub.  It’s much too cold for that.

They fly back and evidently thaw out in time for dinner.  At least the icicles are gone.  She says his honesty scares her because he says he isn’t sure he will be able to propose at the end of this.  She acknowledges that it is a risk for her to keep him, but of course she gives him the rose.

She makes it clear that if she picks a guy and he doesn’t propose it will be a pretty big disappointment and problem for her.  Crazy to think a guy might want to date her a couple more months maybe and be the only one dating her before deciding to marry her.  The horror!

Eric, Matt & Adam: Today will be difficult. I don’t know what else to say. – Rachel

Ooh, this sounds fun.  Now that Rachel has kept each one-on-one date guy, this leaves just one rose for this fun-filled three-on-one date.

In the lead up for the date they show Adam saying that his relationship with Rachel is the strongest of all the other guys so he is at ease.  WHAT?! Dude, you’ve never even gone on a date with her.  The other guys are all on their second one-on-ones.  You showed up with a creepy doll.  But ok, sure.

Logic says that obviously she will keep Eric.  Neither Matt or Adam has had a one-on-one date, or even ever really talked to her that we have seen.

Rachel tells the guys they are taking a boat to France.  All this really means is that two guys will be broken up with in France.

She talks to Eric.  He is sweet, genuine, real and smiley.  He says she makes him feel vulnerable.  I like these two together.

She talks to Matt (Penguin) next.  I believe this is the first time we’ve seen them talk since he was in the penguin suit.  He seems nice, but she is holding back tears because she knows he will be going home.  She walks him out and kisses him and tells him how great he is.  She is crying her eyes out.  They are down at the road with his rejection van and he realizes he still has his champagne glass.  He looks at her and then at the glass and says, “I’m gonna take this with me.” and gets in the van.

  • This has to be one of my favorite rejection responses ever.
  • Evidently they don’t have any open container laws in France.

After walking Matt out she tells the camera that she has two guys and one rose left and she has ‘no idea what she is going to do’.  REALLY?! No idea? I don’t believe you.

Next, it shows Eric and Adam waiting at the dinner table for Rachel.  No one knows where Adam Jr. is because he has not made an appearance since the hand ball game.  Is he with Chris Harrison somewhere?

Rachel talks to each of them.  While talking to Adam she mentions that in a previous conversation (there was a previous conversation?) he told her a part of him was falling in love with her.  She wants to know which part.  I think of the obvious joke answer.

Just when I think she is going to send him home, she kisses him.  She confuses me.

As she is talking to Eric they show Adam sitting there and zoom in on the rose.  Behind the rose is a plate with a piece of cheesecake on it.  EAT THE CHEESECAKE I yell to the TV.  Neither guy eats it.  I just know if I was sitting at a table waiting for the person, I would totally eat the dessert to help pass the time.

She comes back to the table and announces she is giving the rose to Eric.  Everyone named Adam is shocked.

She walks Adam out.  He starts to tell her, “I just don’t want you to wonder what would have been if you would have kept Adam” to which she responds “thank you for being here”, which is about the same as “don’t let the door hit you on the way out”.

And then there were FOUR.  Dean, Eric, Peter, & Bryan.  Who will she pick?  Did anyone on night one predict these would be the final four?

Me, I like Eric with her best.  I think Peter thinks he is a little too good for her.  That’s just the vibe I get.  She keeps thinking Bryan is too good to be true, so maybe he is a bit fake?  I do think Dean might be a bit young and immature.  Nothing like wondering what a guy is thinking and having him ask your favorite dinosaur.

Image result for step brothers favorite dinosaur

The previews for the hometown weeks look like it’s the most dramatic episode yet.  Who do you think she is going to pick?

 

I’m a Fruit Girl, Not Like that Time I Memorized the Chiquita Banana Song for School

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Bobby Pins & Bullets

It’s official, y’all.  I’ve always told everyone that I don’t know how to work ‘fruit phones’ and other ‘fruit’ products–which was my code for Apple products.  I just never had one and never knew how to work one, which was why I was always an android girl.

UNTIL… two days ago.

We had some business for plan changing stuff at the Verizon store, which is my personal hell, btw.  It always takes so long.  In fact, in years past one of the sales associates had asked where I worked and I said I was a 911 dispatcher.  He responded with all of the regular “oh my gosh… is it so stressful? I could never handle that; it just sounds so stressful.”  My response was along the lines of, “I’d take dispatching day and night for nonstop hot calls rather than spending three hours in the Verizon store.”  It’s a great strategy.  After you have stood at the counter for two hours waiting, talking, signing and making small talk, of course you’ll pay the very reasonable $93 dollars for the phone case that does the magic thing and can only be purchased for the super special price today.

Anyways… we were there for some phone plan stuff.  I hung out on the benches and played games with Carter.

Six hours later when we were finally walking out Tom turned to me and handed me a mysterious large white box, along with telling me ‘Happy Birthday’.  This was confusing because my birthday isn’t until September.

Upon further inspection it’s a super duper fancy pretty Ipad.  I was completely shocked because I had never said I wanted an Ipad.  Guess why he got it for me?  Because he was thinking about how much better and easier it will be for my live videos that I do for Chronic Illness on the Mighty.  Also, it’s much lighter than my laptop so I will be able to move it around and use it for blogging.  It has a large screen to make it easier when I’m having blurred vision and dizziness, but I can still hold it up above me and use it when I’m spending a day flat in bed.

Image result for meme girl in love with husband

I really do keep falling for him and loving him more and more everyday, but not because he buys me extravagant gifts, because he is absolutely always trying to think of ways to make my life easier and reduce my pain and frustration with this condition.

So, this post is mostly just about how happy and thankful I am for that husband of mine.

So blessed to have you, babe.

And ya, I did have to memorize the Chiquita banana song for a school project once.

chiquita

Want to Pay Less for Your Prescriptions?

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Big Medical Words / Uncategorized

How much do you pay each month for your prescriptions?  If you’re like me, I’m guessing you don’t buy them and take them just for fun.  Most prescriptions are a necessity to keep yourself alive, healthy, conscious, etc.

I happen to be double covered so my prescriptions are still a chunk of my income, but not anywhere near what many have to pay, or what I would have to pay if I didn’t have insurance.

I recently found out about Blink Health and since I tend to read up on health news and I just found about this, I’m thinking maybe some of you may not know about it yet.

Here is how the website works:

blink health

  • First, go to Blinkhealth.com then search for each of your medications in the search bar to see the Blink Health price.
  • If the price is less than you currently pay, than this might be something you want to use!
  • If you decide to use Blink Health, then you pay for the prescription through Blink Health and take the receipt to your pharmacy. The pharmacist will give you the prescription and you won’t pay anything at the pharmacy.
  • Note: not all pharmacies use Blink Health, so you can check by going to the main Blinkhealth.com page and scrolling down.  There is a search bar where you can input your zip code and it will show you the pharmacies that participate.

My pharmacy for instance doesn’t work with Blink Health, but several other pharmacies in my area do.

My mom has rheumatoid arthritis and I asked her which of her prescriptions are the most expensive.  She said her Methotrexate is $90.  I checked and through Blink Health she can pay online $45 instead of $90.  Again, she would have to get that one prescription at Walmart, CVS, or Shopko, but I know if I could save $45 a month, I’d run by another pharmacy for sure!

I have about six prescriptions that I get regularly.  I didn’t find any lower prices on mine (but again, I do have fairly good insurance), but I did see some lower prices on some of my occasional-use medications.  Every little bit helps, right?

Even better, if you find some great savings and decide to use Blink, you get $15 off your first order!

Hopefully this helps some of you be able to save some money.

Happy Monday, friends.

 

The Day Wheat Bran Betrayed Me

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Deep Thoughts About POTS / Uncategorized

We have a deal.  Wheat Bran is supposed to be the one thing that I don’t throw up.  Now it’s the one thing that I usually don’t throw up, because it broke the pact.  Two days ago I woke up in excruciating pain.  I don’t like to discuss pain and talk about it a whole lot because I feel like everyone has pain in different ways and talking about it sometimes leads to the comparison game or the ‘my pain is worse’ stupid stuff.  I will say that I can only compare my pain to previous pain I have felt  I woke up with almost every joint in my body hurting so badly and it was the worst joint pain that I had ever felt.  Hands, fingers, wrists, hips, ankles, feet, toes, head & shoulders, knees and toes, knees and toes.

The thing with POTS is that you can’t always point to a reason, which is annoying and frustrating.  I hadn’t done heavy lifting or crazy hiking or work outs the day before.  The pain I was feeling could have been something catching up with me from a week or two ago, or even a month.  It’s a nervous system that is misfiring and sending messages wrong, so really anything is possible.

Along with my joint pain, I had nausea and stomach pain.  I spent the entire day either in bed or in the bathroom.  It was not really optional to go elsewhere.

Again, this wasn’t the result of mimosa’s or a morning after a bunch of passing out the day before, just a random day.  I can say that halfway through the day the pain started to reduce and by yesterday most of the pain was at a tolerable level.  Today, I have very little joint pain at all. Praise the Lord! Yesterday I had some pretty serious bouts of dizziness and some stomach issues.

Today, it’s early.  The whole day is before me still.  I can say that I hope the pain level will stay at what it is right now.  I can say that I hope my stomach accepts foods today and doesn’t hurt really bad during digesting.  I can say that I hope dizziness stays far away.  I can hope that my energy level is a bit higher than the last few days.  Hoping is really all I can do though, because so much of it is out of my hands.

Just providing a wee bit of insight about what it’s like to have an autonomic nervous system that is broken and confused.  Not to say this issue or problem is worse than someone else’s, because I know many struggle in different ways.  To my Potsie friends who completely understand the seemingly random attacks, I’m so sorry you understand and know the feeling, but you aren’t alone.

Today, I shall do my very best to look for joy and maybe even make a bit of my own.  I shall smile and not cry (hopefully).  I am reminded of the Casting Crowns song Praise You in this Storm.  This song always reminds me where I need to put my focus during times like this.  Who knows? Maybe if I didn’t have POTS I wouldn’t be forced to seek out and praise God as much? So many questions I don’t have answers to, but that doesn’t need to be my focus.

If you’re traveling through a storm right now, listen to this song.  You have the time.

 

 

Bachelorette Rachel: Episode 6

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Bachelorette Recaps / Uncategorized

Night two of Bachelorette starts back in the wilderness with Lee and Kenny on the dreaded two-on-one date.  Kenny is walking back to Lee after Rachel has told him all about what Lee told her, which was all fabricated.  Kenny says a lot of beeps to Lee so it’s a mystery, but overall he is pretty mad.  He seems to call Lee some names and Lee responds with, “Jesus loves you.”

Rachel comes back and picks up the rose.  She tells Lee that she doesn’t believe he is being truthful with her and therefore, she is sending him home.  He starts talking about some nonsense and she cuts him off to ask for a hug so she can walk off.  She also tells Kenny that she isn’t sure about giving him the rose and needs more time so she invites him to spend the evening with her.

Rachel and Kenny approach the helicopter and Rachel gets inside.  Kenny says he needs to go say bye to Lee. Kenny pull yourself together, man.  Rachel is beyond annoyed.  She even does an eye roll as he walks off.  He must return to gloat and wish him the very worst.

Kenny arrives at Rachel’s suite and she immediately grills him about his earlier choices.  “I said goodbye to Lee and walked away.  You walked away with me. Why did you feel the need to walk back to him?” Kenny responds with some words about being very verbal and bla bla bla.  He wins her over and she gives him the rose.

Rose Ceremony

Coming into this rose ceremony Kenny, Will, and Bryan already had roses from dates.  Additional roses go to:

  • Adam
  • Alex
  • Bryan
  • Dean
  • Eric
  • Matt (Penguin guy– how is he still here? Have they even talked?)
  • Peter

This sends Anthony and Josiah home.  Anthony was kind of boring (although grown-up and rational) and sure Josiah was super egotistical, but at least he was funny and seemed to have some chemistry with her.

Some of Josiah’s comments after not getting a rose must be mentioned.

“Really? She’s keeping a guy who brought a doll who looks like Mike Meyers instead of me?”

“I love Alex, that little KGB Russian spy, but really?”

At least I’ll miss you Josiah.

The bunch is off to Copenhagen, Denmark now because it’s a great place to fall in love!

One-on-One: “Eric, I’m C’OPEN to love, Rachel”

Eric and Rachel start off their date with big hugs and kisses and dancing before getting into a boat to see the city and drink champagne.  They chat easily and make each other laugh nonstop.  Eric does this crazy thing where he asks Rachel a question about her.  It’s a novel idea.  I wish others would try it.

Eric: “How many kids do you want to have?”

Rachel: “Four.”

Eric: “FOUR?!?”

Rachel: “Is that a lot?”

Eric: “No, I want ten.”

Much laughing and snuggling.

They visit some sort of hot tub park or village next.  There are many hot tubs and they get into one and chit chat.  She sits on his lap.  Another man in a different hot tub stands up nude.  Rachel tells Eric it’s his turn next.  Much giggling.

For the evening portion of the date they go to Tivoli, which is apparently a famous amusement park.  They bump cars and whack moles all while laughing and touching nonstop.  It’s actually pretty cute.

They settle in at pretend dinner and Eric opens up about his childhood.  His mom never gave him love or words of affirmation and because of this he has generally been scared of love and run away from many women because it was all so unfamiliar.  He never expands on why his mother was this way or any other specifics.

Eric says he isn’t quite sure what he’s feeling, but he likes it.  Rachel asks if he feels out of control to which he responds, “hell yes.”  She clarifies that this is in a good way of course, right?

After seeing this date and the way these two interact, I wouldn’t be surprised if Eric was top three.

Of course he gets the rose.

Group Date: “I’ve Taken a Viking to you Guys”

Included on this date:

  • Kenny
  • Adam
  • Dean
  • Alex
  • Bryan
  • Matt
  • Peter

This date starts by taking a Viking ship out to a Viking’s Olympics of games.  Color me excited!

Step one of Viking fighting: dress up.

Two Vikings explain the rules and that whoever wins will win Rachel’s heart, or maybe hat, the accent is a little tough to understand.

Dean tells the camera that he thinks he would make a great Viking, but like a Viking that doesn’t fight very much.  I think he was just out of his element because there was no Viking garb including skinny jeans.

Several Viking challenges take place and it comes down to the two guys who performed the best: Kenny and Adam.  They get to fight to the death for Rachel.  Kenny wins, although their is some sort of shield collision which results in blood shed for both guys.  They each appear to have a tiny cut above their left eye.  Medics are called in to apply band-aids, just like true Vikings in battle.

The evening part of the date includes a typical Brian and Rachel conversation, with their tongues in each other’s mouths.

Rachel and Peter talk.  Mostly they reminisce about that time they made the baby in the hot tub a few days ago.

On last night’s episode Rachel told Jack that she was sick and contagious.  Evidently that bug has cleared up quickly.

Kenny and Rachel chat.  He brings up that he isn’t sure about where they are together and he just isn’t sure about introducing Rachel to his daughter.  She says that since she still has concerns and questions about them together that he should go home to be with his daughter.  He seems relieved and she walks him out to his ‘not really rejection’ limo.

She gathers around the guys to let them know that she sent Kenny home.  She picks up the rose and says she is giving it to someone who ‘stood out in a way she couldn’t explain’, Peter.  It was the 3.5 hour hot tub party reminiscing, I’m telling you.

One-on-One with Will

For Will’s date they head to Sweeden because why not?  They wander and chat.  Rachel continues to tell the camera that it would be super great if he could maybe touch her.  The producer fails to pass along this message.  At one point they stand in a castle and look out over the sea.  At one point he almost bumped into her but quickly moves away.

At dinner (back in Copenhagen) she decides to get to the bottom of this.  She asks what kind of boyfriend he usually is and he explains that he is very physical and passionate.  Hmmm.  This is a bummer for Rachel to hear since he has been careful to not touch her all day long.

She then asks him, “What do you look for in girls?”

PAUSE.

Image result for time out meme

Here are several things he could have said that would have been better than what he said.

  1. I like a woman who makes me laugh, but can beat me at Scrabble too.
  2. I like a woman who is interesting and intriguing.
  3. I like being with someone who is spontaneous and positive.
  4. I like a woman who challenges me.
  5. I like a woman with a job that can support my Taco Bell habit.

Instead, he said, “I typically date white girls.”  Good job naming the one thing that she ISN’T.

Finally, she picks up the rose to explain why she can’t give it to him.  She says she doesn’t feel wanted and he hasn’t touched her all day.  I yelled at the TV trying to help him, “say the cameras make you nervous!”  No luck, he said maybe he focused too much on building a friendship and forgot the relationship part.

She walks him out.

And then there were seven.

Rose Ceremony

Rachel starts by mentioning that she was sitting on her balcony earlier and looked out at the castle that was the setting for Hamlet.  She remembered the quote to thine oneself be true.  (I take a moment to think she must do great watching Jeopardy.)

To recap, coming into this ceremony Eric and Peter have roses.

She gives the remaining roses to:

  • Bryan
  • Dean
  • Matt (what?!  If they have ever had a conversation for more than 10 seconds, we’ve yet to see it.  I don’t think we’ve seen a kiss or hand holding.)
  • Adam

This sends Alex home.  Goodbye KGB agent.  Your purple suits will be missed.

How is Matt still on this show?  What do you think? Is he an heir to a throne somewhere?

Bachelorette Rachel: Episode 5

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Bachelorette Recaps / Uncategorized

Two nights of Bachelorette this week!

We pick up with Lee and Kenny out on the deck talking.  Nothing gets resolved because Lee is an annoying jerk and Kenny is a rational person.

Bryan gets the group date rose (we’re still on the spelling bee group date, if you forgot).  The guys gather to chat about Bryan getting the rose.  Kenny speaks up and says Bryan deserved the rose because of all of his good qualities, which he proceeds to list off such as that he is not a snake, like Lee. Well played, Kenny.  Kenny then takes care to whisper to Lee that he is a bitch, since yelling is what makes him aggressive.

Rachel and Jack Stone’s One-on-One

This date starts with a horse drawn carriage ride to a Shuckin’ and Shaggin’ event.  I was confused by both events.  I would have much preferred, if it were me, to be shuckin’ corn, not oysters.  They eat that and some other gross seafood thing.  Apparently it is salty.  You know what else is salty, but doesn’t make you shudder? Popcorn.  Just sayin’.

Image result for austin powers shag gif

Apparently Shaggin’ is a type of dance.  I’m not familiar with this genre of dance and neither is Dancing with the Stars apparently.  Either way, they semi-attempt it and then go out to the beach to talk.  He is WAY into her and she looks mildly bored, or maybe she’s sick from the seafood.

I didn’t see a whole lot of chemistry between these two.  Rachel agreed with me it seems as she sent him home.  Poor Jack Stone.  He will land on his feet.

Meanwhile at the Mansion

Evidently Will drew the short straw so he is forced to go out on the balcony and talk to Lee.  He has to explain to Lee that calling a black man aggressive, is a bit of a stereotype and could anger Kenny for more reasons than one.  Lee immediately jumps to, “Oh, so he’s playing the race card?”  Will explains that he does not believe this was Kenny’s intent to ‘play the race card’.  Lee isn’t listening due to the fear that he might learn something.

Will says this crazy thing next.  He says, “those of us left just have to find a way to coexist.”  Lee says he doesn’t know what he can do other than just step back and try to leave Kenny alone.  Surely this will not happen.  Lee is always telling the camera how much he enjoys getting under people’s skin and irritating others.  Last week he was even sitting on the couch next to Brady telling him that one of the greatest ways to annoy someone is to laugh at them and make them feel stupid.  But ya, I’m sure he’s going to step back and leave Kenny alone.

Rose Ceremony

Rachel announces there will be no cocktail party because she knows what she is going to do.  This news is upsetting to Iggy because he says he really was counting on that time with her (I assume to whine about someone else in the house since that is what he has done the last two times he has spoken to her).

Roses go to:

  • Eric
  • Peter
  • Adam
  • Will
  • Matt
  • Alex
  • Josiah
  • Anthony
  • Kenny
  • Lee

This sends the tickle monster (Jonathan) and Iggy home.

Once the front door closes, Rachel announces that it is time to take this magical journey overseas.  They’re heading to Oslo, Norway, because it’s the perfect place to fall in love.

The guys check out their sweet suite and then Rachel arrives.  She invites Bryan on a one-on-one date.

One-on-One with Bryan

She takes Bryan to the Olympic ski jump.  They get a great view of the city then she mentions that they are going to rappel down.  They conquer it and enjoy their time together.  She sees today she is making sure they have the emotional connection too, not just the physical.

Dinner includes lots of kissing and talking.  Oh, and Rachel gives him the rose.  He admits he is falling in love with her.

Group Date- “I’m Looking for a Guy who is Good with his Hands.”

Included on this date: Adam, Dean, Anthony, Peter, Matt, Will, Alex, Eric, & Josiah

The guys walk into a large gym and see a bunch of guys playing hand ball, which is a combination of football, basketball, and water polo.  I think Alex’s comment upon walking in is my favorite, “These guys are like Vikings.  They are all 7 feet tall and throw the ball about 70 MPH.”  Valid.

They break up into two teams.  For a fun change, Rachel is on a team and plays as well.  Red team beats the blue team.  At the after party that night Rachel refers to Will as the MVP.  As my friend Michaela pointed out, where’s the love for the assister who set him up for all of those goals?

The chats afterwards were interesting.  Most guys were pretty open and genuine.  Then Josiah sits down to talk and proceeds to tell her that when his dad met his mom he told her that God told him she was the one for him and she thought he was crazy.  Rachel breaks in that she would have too.  Yet Josiah continues to say that he believes she is the woman for him.  Rachel gets real and says that she doesn’t find him asking her a lot of questions when they are together and that it seems he is more interested in what he has read about her.  He was one of my frontrunners, but this little exchange makes me nervous.

Next she chats with Peter.  She LIKES him a lot.  They kiss on the patio.  Then he mentions that they still have so much ground to cover.  She suggests they cover that ground in the hot tub, apparently for three and a half hours according to what the guys say when Peter comes back.  Essentially, I’m expecting to see this:

Image result for i thought you were never coming back so i panicked

I’m impressed that they haven’t used the hotel notepad to make their own deck of cards to pass the time.  Maybe a fort made out of the couches and pillows? Even crazier than that, there were still snacks around.  I assume they all got room service.  Remember how Corrinne got so much crap for falling asleep on dates last season? I kinda get it.

Rachel comes in and gives the date rose to Will.  I assume she has made a mistake and pronounced Peter’s name incorrectly.  He is equally confused.

Two-on-One Date: Your Fate is up in the Air.

Includes: Kenny and Lee, of course

In preparation for this date, Lee is seen lifting weights in the hotel gym… in his cowboy boots.  I’m certain this is the first time he has lifted weights.

Image result for lifting weights in cowboy boots meme

Bryan gives Kenny a pep talk (mostly because he doesn’t want annoying Lee coming back).  He reminds him to be the bigger man and keep a cool head and not to let Lee get him riled up.

A helicopter shows up to pick up the guys and Rachel.  They are going to the Norwegian wilderness.  Rachel needs clarity.

The three exit the helicopter and walk across the wilderness.  Lee tells Kenny this is why he wears cowboy boots, because he can do anything in them.

Rachel takes Kenny away first to talk.  He openly talks.  Rachel says to the camera after their chat that she gets a sense of sincerity from him when he talks.

Next, Lee and Rachel chat.  Lee starts his chat by mentioning the violence when Kenny tried to pull Lee out of the van.  He says it’s only when he drinks though.  Meanwhile I am thinking… WHAT? When was that? You know the cameras wouldn’t miss that if it really happened.

Rachel takes Lee back to the wilderness and tells the camera she still has no clarity.

It’s time for attorney Rachel to come out to play.  Rachel tells Kenny what Lee said.  Kenny is actually shocked about the “pulled him out of the van” comment.

Image result for what did he say gif

Kenny walks back to Lee and is ‘rage laughing’, if that’s a thing.  The episode ends and we still have no resolution to when Kenny’s eye will start bleeding and why.

Is Lee really going to punch him?  Will he walk into a tree?

 

 

 

Fight or Flight or Faint

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Deep Thoughts About POTS / Uncategorized

Fight or flight is a function of the autonomic nervous system.  My autonomic nervous system is confused and faulty.  A few days ago I was outside working to clean the garage with Tom and Carter.  I did a few trips on the stairs taking things to the basement.  I came back out to the garage and rested a bit before moving over to the deck to move the chairs.  I picked up one and got stung by a yellowjacket that was underneath the arm of the chair.  I walked back into the garage to go inside and get ice.  I made it two steps into the garage before I realized I was going to pass out.  Thanks body!  Sudden sharp pain tends to confuse my autonomic nervous system and can cause a drop in blood pressure quickly.

I made it to my wheelchair and rested until Tom could get me inside and into bed.  As he lifted me into bed Carter turned on my oxygen and grabbed me a Gatorade.  In reality, this wasn’t that big of a deal, but I was pretty sick for several hours and didn’t leave bed.

Just a little glimpse into the fun and surprises of life with POTS.

I’m super blessed to have my men.

In Other News

Guess who paid off her heart monitor bill from September, 2015?!

Image result for rolling in money meme

That’s right, I’ll be rolling in the dough soon.  Or, you know, just paying a different medical bill.

Summer is Here

So far with the change from Spring to Summer my body has not been handling very well.  I know summer is going to be a bit rough, but I’m hoping I can slowly start to take strides to be able to achieve some physical activity again.  Yesterday we walked to the mailbox and back and today I did the recumbent bike for 5 minutes.  Baby steps, right?

Image result for baby steps what about bob

Name that movie referenced in the picture above!

Hope you are all having a fantastic weekend.  I’m off to go read some stories to my favorite little kiddo!

 

 

 

The Bachelorette Rachel: Episode 4

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Bachelorette Recaps / Uncategorized

Last week there was no episode due to NBA finals so it’s been two weeks.  It was almost so long that I forgot what most dramatic thing ever was happening.  Oh yes, there was drama about if Rachel might take Eric’s rose away.

We find the guys in the mansion with Eric yelling at Iggy that it is a problem and it is his business because  ‘his name is ‘in everyone’s mouth’.  I can understand his frustration.

Meanwhile, outside Kenny and Rachel are chatting when up walks Lee.  Dun, Dun, Dunnnn!  Kenny asks him politely to give him just like 60 more seconds.  Lee repeats that he will give him 16 more.  Then he walks off to the side and counts to 16, like a total tool.

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Lee then walks over and stands two feet in front of them while Kenny tries to finish his thought.  Believe it or not, this bothers Kenny.

Lee sits down and proceeds to show Rachel hat he brought the knife his grandpa gave him.  No one is concerned that the crazy guy has a knife?  Oh hey, did I mention I brought my Grandpa’s machine gun to the mansion? Isn’t that sweet.  Anyways Lee apparently carved something into a random piece of 2×4 he found in the mansion.  Awww.

While this love fest is going on outside, the other guys are inside discussing Lee’s quirks… or corks… or is it quirks?  I believe Peter weighs in that corks go in wine bottles.  This segment brought to you by the open bar. 

Bryan (first kisser of the season) used his time to talk to Rachel NOT about all the He-Said-He-Said drama of the house.  He’s so smart.

Kenny now decides it’s time to talk to Lee.  His mistake is that he tries to talk to Lee man to man, when clearly Lee more resembles a fifth grader on his way to detention.  I wish he was in detention instead of in this mansion.

Finally Rachel is fed up enough with the drama that she hails Chris Harrison and tells him it is time to have the rose ceremony; she’s done with this drama.  Three cheers for Rachel.

Roses go to:

  • Will
  • Dean
  • Jonathan
  • Peter
  • Adam
  • Bryan
  • Matt (penguin)
  • Josiah
  • Jack Stone
  • Iggy
  • Kenny
  • Lee

This eliminates Bryce, Brady, and Diggy.  I will miss Diggy’s bow ties and facial expressions.

One-on-One Date Card: “Dean, our love is about to take off.”

They drive out into a field/swamp area and Rachel says they are going to have a picnic.  I grew up thinking a picnic included food; call me crazy.  Picnics usually included fried chicken or sandwiches or even just cheese and bread (if you’re in France).  Their picnic includes only champagne.  I seem to remember when Yogi was stealing picnic baskets it was for the food, but maybe I’m wrong.

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As they’re out on the hood of the Jeep drinking their lunch they see a blimp off in the distance.  Rachel tells an endearing story about her childhood and always being intrigued by blimps.  The scrolling sign on the side of the blimp tells Rachel and Dean that the blimp is their ride.  Dean mentions he has a massive fear of heights.  Well done, producers.

Dean tells the camera, “On a scale of 1 to 10 my level of freakout is 10.”  He is sweaty and legitimately looks freaked out.  Poor guy.  Once they are up in the air the pilot says Rachel can take a turn.  Dean tells her to be very careful.  After she encourages him he then takes a turn.

At dinner they have a pretty intense talk.  He opens up about his mom dying when he was fourteen.  It was awful.  Second only to when mother Russia talked about why she was cast out of the house and ended up in the orphanage.

He really does not seem anywhere near as immature as you would imagine.  I believe Rachel is impressed too.  She gives him the rose.

Group Date Card: “I want to see who’s ready for commitment.” 

Guys included on this date are: Alex (usually has a semi man bun and is wearing purple), Anthony (had the one on one with the horses on Rodeo Drive), Peter, Bryan (first kiss chiropractor), Johnathan (tickle monster), Adam (owner of terrifying Adam Jr.), Matt (penguin), Kenny (professional wrestler and daddy to little girl), Lee (mr. villain pot-stirrer), Eric (tired of his name being in everyone’s mouth), Iggy (Gossip girl), Josiah (still a front-runner in my mind, attorney), and Will.

They go on a fancy boat and have a dance contest and a pushup contest.  I see no life jackets aboard, but I do see MaiTais.  Well done ABC intern for packing the essentials.  During the dance party it is so painfully evident which guys are white boys.

Josiah tells the camera that he is the sexiest guy on the boat.  He is, however, not the most humble.

Don’t get me wrong, confidence is sexy.  Arrogance is a bit less sexy.

Next up on the boat is some freestyle rapping.  Kenny and Peter both take a turn.  That goes exactly how you would expect it would go.

They stumble off the boat to find a random crowd and a judge table of little girls for the Bachelorette Spelling Bee.  Color me excited.

Iggy tells the camera that he has to do fantastically, then he proceeds to spell it: F-A-N-T-A-S-T-I-C-A-L-Y.  WRONG.  You are off to a rough start Iggy.

I feel a bit like the words are maybe not quite equal.  Kenny’s first word is Champagne.  He mixes up the N and the G.  He says he feels sad that Sham- POG- Nee eliminated him.  I feel sad for you too, buddy.

Others get eliminated by other words along the way, including the word that Chris Harrison made the little girls put on earmuffs for: Coitus.  When I was in fifth grade I certainly didn’t know what coitus meant, but it’s a new world I guess.  When I was in fifth grade the bachelor/bachelorette didn’t even exist yet, but if it did I’m certain my mom would not have allowed me to watch it anyway.

Josiah ends up winning by spelling the word stunning.  I’m not sure what is supposed to be tricky about this word, maybe the double N.  Anyways, he wins a giant trophy cup which he proceeds to drink out of for the rest of the night and I do find this most amusing.

It’s the evening portion of the date and Iggy runs out to talk to Rachel about his feelings for her and what their life together might look like and oh, wait… none of that happens.  Instead, he rushes out to tell her all about how this week he has decided that Josiah is a different person around her.  He also says that he thinks Josiah covers up his insecurities around her by being over-confident.

Amy thinks that maybe Iggy is a wee bit intimidated by Josiah and feels a little be self-conscious.  To which my mom pointed out, “He should!”

If you remember last week he helped her out by telling her that Eric was questioning her genuine-ness in the show.  Now Iggy, Rachel is a grown up lady and I feel confident she can handle this magical journey without you helping her out along the way.

(Also, sidenote*  Do y’all remember Wells Adams?  He was on Jojo’s season and then also on Bachelor in Paradise where he had a mini relationship with Ashley I-lashes.  Anyways, he does a segment on his snapchat each week of drunk snapchatting his thoughts while watching the Bachelorette.  I appreciate everything about this.  I screenshotted one of the main reasons that I enjoy Wells’ humor.

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While Iggy is outside being a tattle tale to Rachel, the other guys are inside discussing the elegance and poise that Rachel brings to the table.  My friend Mev pointed out that this is surely the typical locker room conversation guys have.

“Did you see the pair of poise and elegance on that girl?”

Iggy enters the room and sits down right next to Josiah (because this show doesn’t believe in personal space) and tells him immediately that Rachel was asking about him and his genuine-ness (false) so he told her what he thinks about Josiah.  Josiah is less than impressed with Iggy.

In an in-the-moment with the cameraman Josiah says, “with all due respect, Iggy’s a bitch.”  I always get excited when sentences start with ‘with all due respect’.

Meanwhile Lee is being a tattle tale to Rachel about how Kenny yelled at him on rose ceremony night and was very aggressive.  Oh and he flipped him off- aggressively!

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Now Rachel talks to Kenny to ask about his aggressive yelling at Lee.  Bla bla bla, Kenny regrets the way he handled it but does tell Rachel that possibly Lee is not being completely truthful.  WHAT?!

Lee describes Kenny (professional wrestler) to the camera crew as a 220 pound ballerina.  What we have here is a classic case of handcuff bravery.

You see, in the law enforcement world, sometimes people being arrested are very respectful and comply until they are in handcuffs then there is a whole lot of “take off these cuffs and fight me like a man” and other such threats about their toughness.

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I feel like maybe Lee feels pretty tough with all the no-violence contracts signed and all the camera crew and producers nearby.  Something tells me if he were to meet 220 pound ballerina Kenny in a dark alley, he might be singing a different tune.

We see Kenny come inside and ask Lee to come speak with him outside, you know so the blood doesn’t ruin the carpet in the mansion.  They go outside and the other guys say unless punches are thrown they are not interested in the drama.  They then go to watch.

Just then, the dreaded To Be Continued words flash up on the screen.  In the previews for next week, Kenny is bleeding from the eye.  I feel certain it is from some challenge on a date or other unrelated event, but I will in fact be tuning in to watch, so well done ABC editors.

What do you think? Does Lee throw his purse at Kenny? Does Lee punch Kenny?  If so, does Kenny break a folding chair over Lee in return?