Tuesday Things: The Twenty-Fifth Edition

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Tuesday Things

I haven’t whipped up an edition of Tuesday Things since September.  That’s crazy.  I blame The Bachelor and Dancing with the Stars. I am always focused on getting my recaps out on Tuesday.  So go yell at ABC.  It’s all their fault.

And… I realize I’m posting this on Wednesday, but I typed most of it yesterday.

What’s new?  What should I tell y’all about?

I’m a Nerd

Look. I know I’m a nerd about this, but it really makes me stupidly happy.  I got a new toothbrush after Christmas and it is so cool.  It sits in it’s little holder on the mirror, so it’s not on my counter.  In theory that is so you can have a clear counter, but I’m me so that’s not happening.  Anyways, it’s electric and every three months they automatically charge you $5 and send you a new head.  Maybe you can remember to change your toothbrush head every three months, but I’m lazy and forgetful I guess because I never do.  Also, it has a two minute timer like plenty of other electric toothbrushes out there, but this one is different.  It pulses every 30 seconds so that you do one quadrant of your mouth at a time.  Again, I know it’s stupid because you could set a timer or whatever, but this is fancy and I like it.  So now you know all about it.  Plus, mine is a cute rose gold color and I like that too.  Anyways, I don’t sell these or anything, but if you decide you need to switch up your routine, I can send you a referral code that gets each of us a free replacement head I think.  So $5 savings.

So there’s my cool product I’m liking right now.

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Olympics

The Olympics are upon us once again.  I haven’t watched much this year yet because my husband is a Debbie Downer and hates the Olympics.  He thinks they are all rigged and everyone is eventually found out to be doping, which is partially true I suppose.  Anyways, I was always excited to watch them as a little kid.  Growing up we spent plenty of time in Canada for hockey, which meant we had ample opportunity to watch curling too.  I saw this video the other day and it is currently my favorite video on the internet.

Are any of you watching the Bachelor Olympics?  I find it to be most entertaining.  It’s like the Bachelor PLUS people falling on the ice and snow.

I’m Just Saying This So Now It’s In Writing That I Said It

Ok. I haven’t been blogging a whole bunch lately and it’s because I’ve had my writing attention elsewhere.  I’ve started writing a book.  I’m no where near far enough to know what it will really look like.  I have given myself the year of 2018 to spend all year and see what I come up with.  Deep down I feel like you need to be someone special or have done something great to be able to write a book.  People who were lost in the wilderness and survived or had a fight for their life of some sort, not people like me.  However, enough people have told me that if I ever wrote a book they would read it.  One of my sweet chronic illness friends published a book about chronic illness when she was 19.  She told me that anyone who has a story to tell can write a book.  I’m working on fine tuning my story.

Other Bits

I didn’t end up making it to the retreat to speak because we had some family issues come up and it was better for me that I was not there.  I’m ok with it, but eagerly looking forward to the next one.  Plus, maybe by then I’ll have a table with my books for sale. HA. Kidding.

I did make it to the truffle class.  I’m most impressed with my finished product.  I don’t know if I could do it all by myself and what my kitchen would look like after.  I learned about luster dust.  I’m a fan.

truffles

My POTS has been rough lately.  I don’t know if it was the ‘hey it’s 50 and sunny’ then a day later ‘it’s snowy and 15’ that flared it up a bunch or what, but my energy has been mostly gone and I’ve had plenty of parts of my autonomic nervous system acting up.

Now that’s it’s finally Wednesday night, I’ll go ahead and send out my Tuesday Things.

Stay smiling, friends!

 

The Bachelor Arie: Hometowns

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Bachelor Recaps / Uncategorized

“It’s been such an amazing journey so far.” – Arie

That’s double points because he included amazing and journey.  Drink up, friends!

Kendall’s Hometown- L.A.

Mount and straddle in the park then we’re off to a taxidermy shop, because when in L.A…

She shows him several terrifying pieces and explains how it’s her way to appreciate animals.  Then surprise… they are going to mount their own animals.  Rats.  They stuff things inside dead rat skin to make tiny rats that they then dress up. It’s just your typical serial killer hometown date.

Twin sis Kylie grills Arie.  She can tell from the energy that they are happy, but she also senses some space between them.  That space is fear of being stuffed, I believe.  Arie wants to know if she thinks her sister is ready for marriage.  She doesn’t know, but she knows she’s ready for real love.

Kylie sits Kendall down to tell her that she just doesn’t get the vibe that he’s her person.  Clearly she can tell by those three minutes they were all together.  She gives Kendall the advice to talk to Arie and tell him all the things that she is feeling.

Kendall’s dad has a dad talk with Arie.  He’s not about giving his blessing.  Kendall isn’t that girl.

** in the ending credits we see Arie dress up another rat as Krystal and put her on the limo and drive it off the table while yelling “Bye Krystal”.**

Tia’s Hometown- Weiner, AR

“I’m in Weiner.”- Arie

Tia tells Arie she wants to do something that is near and dear to his heart, just like the South is near and dear to her heart.  Taxidermy! JUST KIDDING. Racing cars at a cute little dirt track. He’s far happier with this than stuffing dead rats.

As they are approaching the house, the cameras inside catch dad saying he wished he was holding a shotgun and polishing it when he walked in.  Dad toasts to “Airy & Tia”, oh and they toast wieners, because when in Wiener…

Tia’s brother takes Arie aside to ask if he’s a playboy and a kissing bandit and how he can prove tonight that he’s not that guy.  They do a little meth together and bond… just kidding.  Brother Jason decides that he seems like a pretty cool and genuine guy.

Dad asks Tia about how much she likes him.  Dad gathers that she digs him.

“If you hurt her, I can find you on Google.” -Tia’s dad.  Somebody call Google, that ad writes itself.

Arie asks dad for his blessing if it ends up being them at the end and he defers to Tia’s judgement and since she digs him, he’s cool with it.

Becca’s Hometown- Minnesota

This date starts out with apple picking in the orchard.  Next they do the apple slingshot and hit a bullseye.  They finish it off with dipping caramel apples.  By now the cold has spread to their special places, so they roll out to meet the fam.

The family is sitting around talking about how much Becca won’t be saying things like “He’s the one. I wanna get married.”  She’s pragmatic.  She’s a Minnesota girl.  She’ll be cautiously optimistic at most.  Or so they think…

Uncle Gary is first to take Arie to talk.  Uncle Gary means business.  I think maybe uncle Gary has been drinking.  Uncle Gary asks if Becca wanted to go to church what would he do?  He says he would go to church.

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Becca chats with her mom.  She says it could come down to a proposal and engagement.  Would she say yes if he asked?  “No.”  Ok, cool. That’s cleared up.  But she loves her and trusts her.

Arie talks to Becca’s mom.  He talks all about how much he adores her and is falling for her.  She makes him very happy.  Arie asks mom for her blessing.  She says she would honor whatever her choice is.  Mom says she likes Arie and that he has done well with her weird family.

They snuggle on a bench together after family time, but they have a blanket at least.  Apparently you have to be in Minnesota to get a blanket.

Lauren Hometown- Virginia Beach

They meet at the beach and take a horseback ride to a lighthouse.  She gives him a heads up that her family is gonna be protective and skeptical.  He is clearly super nervous about meeting the family.

At dinner it’s tense and nervous.  Dad asks if he’s been around a military family before. No.  Dad asks if he golfs.  Also no.  Arie’s 0 for 2.  He steps out for a moment to vomit I think.  He is clearly stressed.  He says he is approaching Indy 500 nerves.

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Outside he and dad get to talking.  Dad flew tomcats and the super hornet.  Arie says he himself has flown a C130.  Arie talks about a goodwill tour he and other drivers did over in Iraq.  Dad is impressed.  Dad says, “if she likes you, then I like you.”

Arie tells Lauren’s mom that he is falling in love with Lauren.  “Really?” Mom is skeptical.  She is concerned that he is compartmentalizing these other relationships.  Mom is not a believer of this process.

Lauren talks to her mom.  “I feel like I’m falling in love with him.” “Really?”  Again, mom is shocked.  She hopes it is real and that is lasts forever.  She wants her to be happy.

Lauren and Arie chat on the front porch and debrief.  Then a quick makeout session by the black suv and away he goes.

PS– I read online that Lauren has been engaged twice and is 25.  Methinks the random guy who shows up for his ‘woman’ in the next few episodes at some point might be there for her.

Rose Ceremony

Arie shows up to say it’s been an incredible week.  He starts talking to the girls, then he needs a second.  He walks away.  He says this decision is incredibly hard.  So hard, that he needs to talk to Kendall.  The other three are going through every option of what is happening outside.  Arie asks Kendall if she can truly get there at the end of this.  Will she be able to be engaged?  She says a lot of random stuff, but throws in that she doesn’t think that at this exact second she can be engaged.  She cries a bit.  They talk some more then they walk back in.

Roses go to:

  • Becca
  • Lauren
  • Kendall

This sends Tia home.  Poor Tia.  Lots of tears.  She doesn’t know what she did wrong.  He says nothing.  I don’t think she did the best minding her business.  I don’t think she should have meddled about baby Bekah, but I doubt that is ultimately what sent her home.  I think he is probably just more in love with one of the other women.

BUT… do we think they are setting Tia up to be the next Bachelorette?  They got a good crying in the getaway car scene, and you know they love that.

Sunday night is Women Tell All and I’m excited.  I’m hoping Krystal will give us all a little speech about how we should be living our lives better.

The Best of Twitter

This from Baby Bekah:

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And the Lauren mystery is solved.

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The Bachelor Arie: Episode 7

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Bachelor Recaps / Uncategorized

My DVR says this is episode seven, and I suppose it can count.  The preview is mostly just tears.  Everyone is crying.  I can’t wait.

The gang is in Tuscany, Pisa to be exact.

“Why do you think it’s leaning?” Overheard while they visit the leaning tower of Pisa.

Chris Harrison arrives to deliver the news.  No rose ceremony this week because there are three one-on-ones and a group date.  Each of the four roses will be given throughout the dates this week.

One-On-One- Becca K.

“Let’s fall in love under the Tuscan sun.” Arie

They get a cute little red convertible and head off to Barga to picnic and reconnect, mostly with their tongues.  She has a gorgeous flowy dress for the event.

For dinner they talk about meeting family.  He obviously gives her the rose then they wander the streets making out up against old rock buildings.  They are really pretty cute together. My favorite is that while they were making out she was holding her adorable high heels, because it’s Italy and since once upon a time I was there, I know that cobblestones and heels do not mix.

Meanwhile…

Jacqueline and Kendall are having a chat back at the house.  J-Quellin is crying that she likes Arie so much, but she just doesn’t know if this whole thing is feasible, with her education plans, etc.

Jacqueline Visits Arie

Jacqueline cries a bunch and drinks wine while snuggling Arie.  They make out a lot but basically say goodbye and that it’s not gonna work.  Arie says he doesn’t want it to be over.  They make out more and then she cries more and leaves.  He is upset that she didn’t want to see out the week to know him more.  She cries in the hall alone not sure about her choice.

She keeps saying that she didn’t expect this to happen… yet it was her choice.

Arie truly does seem upset and later refers to it as heartbreaking.

One-On-One- Lauren

“Let’s break down our walls.” Arie

They bike around and we are all hoping that she will say more words on this date than the silent date last week.  They eat gelato and pizza so, it’s basically my dream date.

They play some soccer with random children.

Arie says that he has to get her to open up a lot before the night is over in order for him to be able to give her the rose.  He asks if she thinks that he is ready to meet her family and how she would feel about that.  She says she hates saying that she is scared and terrified, but she really is. She reiterates that she is so worried about opening up and getting hurt.  She tells him that she is starting to fall in love with him, which makes him have a stone face and say he needs to take a moment to walk away.  Lauren instantly starts crying.  He comes back and says he wasn’t off like she thought; he felt extremely vulnerable.  He picks up the rose and says he is falling so deeply in love with her that it’s crazy.  Everyone, everywhere agrees that it IS crazy!

He gives her the rose.

One-On-One- Seinne

“I’m searching for the one.” Arie.

She greets him with the traditional jump and straddle and they go together to meet a man who has truffle hunting dogs.  A truffle is apparently not a chocolate candy, but a fungus.  Sad.  Yet, they seem happy still.

They go to the truffle man’s house for family meal.  They make pizza and Arie cuts his to be a heart shape.  It’s adorable and delicious.

At dinner they get into some serious conversations.  Is she ready for him to meet his family?  Is he ready to meet her family? What would their future look like?  Who would move?  She said she is open to having that conversation.  She starts shivering.  A bell is clanging in the distance.

He just isn’t sure enough and thinks they should be further along than they are.  He says he can’t give her the rose.

Group Date- Tia, Bekah, & Kendall

“Meet me at Villa Roo de la bla bla” Arie.

Since Jacqueline left and he sent Seinne away, there are now two roses available on this date and three women.  The odds are slightly better.

Kendall and Arie wander off first to kiss.  Kendall’s skirt is a lengthy 3″.  We are all hoping there are shorts under there, but only if she borrowed some of Tia’s 2″ long shorts.

They talk about what the family visit would be like, and if they have more than chemistry.

Tia and Bekah chat and Tia gets the idea that Bekah is not as serious in this process.  Tia takes it upon herself to whine to Arie.  His exact words back to her are, “I wouldn’t really harp too much on that.”  Translation: MIND YOUR OWN BUSINESS.

They talk some more and kiss.  “I love your lips.” “I love your lips.”

Tia talks to baby Bekah next.  She tells her that she told Arie that she doesn’t think she is as serious as the rest.  She starts crying, but don’t worry, her makeup won’t run because she doesn’t have to wear a lick of makeup yet she still looks amazing.  Bekah wanders out to meet Arie, still crying from Tia’s little pep talk.  Arie kisses her and tells her to breathe.  Then he asks if he can ask her some tough questions.  They talk hometowns and then she adorably shows him her white hairs.  He calls her an old lady, which is somehow cute.

The girls assemble back at the benches and Arie walks up to pick up the first rose.  He says one girl today he was really confident in and that he can’t wait to meet Kendall’s family.  He walks Kendall off to say goodbye.

Now, the other two girls have to get dressed fancy and go to dinner with him to basically have a two-on-one.  Tia is big time regretting her earlier tattling about baby Bekah.  Tia talks to Arie first and reiterates that she is still very much interested in him and falling in love.

He takes baby Bekah to the other room to makeout on the couch a bit.  He seems standoffish a little bit and I feel worried a little bit.

Back at the table he gives Tia the rose.  He walks Bekah out and puts her in the car and he cries a single tear.

Next week, hometowns.  Will every dad and big brother threaten Arie’s life? The previews make it look that way for sure.

Best Twitter Reactions

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Not nobody.  We were talking about it.

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Yes, Bekah was in fact on a missing person’s list after filming, but was found before it aired.  Spoiler alert: she was at a pot farm.

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All, while falling deeply in love, apparently.

I can’t wait.

The Bachelor Arie- Episode Paris

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I don’t know what number episode this is, but it’s the Paris episode.

10 women.  One Arie.

The girls are staying on a boat in Paris apparently.  Chris Harrison arrived to tell the girls there are FOUR dates this week.  Two one-on-ones, a group date, and the dreaded two-on-one.

One-on-One- Lauren B.

“Tomber amoreaux en Paris.” Arie

Arie walks up to whisk LB away, who is wearing a denim/floral romper.

“You can’t go pee the entire day; you’re wearing a romper”- one of my watching buddies.

The camera is showing us a lot of Arie and Lauren silently walking through Paris.  Mostly, every once in a while one says wow or it’s so pretty.  Arie tells the camera he isn’t sure if she’s really into him and maybe he’s just trying to will it to work.  Trouble in PARIS-dise.  (See what I did there).

Lauren B and Arie get to chatting a bit at dinner.  Arie and Lauren have some actually pretty deep conversation.  He tells her that she is beautiful, but is so much more to him then he gives her the rose.

Group Date- Becca, Baby Bekah, Seinne, Tia, Chelsea, Jenna

The girls and Arie saunter into the Moulin Rouge.

“The Moulin Rouge dancers are amazing, but their outfits are thongs. Ummm, ya.” – Tia

Black modesty boxes everywhere.

Whoever gets the rose tonight, gets to dance onstage at the Moulin Rouge with Arie, which sounds mostly awful.  The girls learn choreography then put on the feathers to parade around in front of the madame- or whoever the in-charge lady is.

“I feel like tonight is probably the best after party we’ve ever had… (because Krystal isn’t here).” -Arie He didn’t say that part in the parentheses, but I picked up what he was putting down.

Baby Bekah gets the rose and they do a weird little routine on stage while the other girls glare from the crowd.

Two-on-one- Krystal and Kendall

“We’ll always have Paris.” Arie

Krystal starts by laughing at the camera about how nervous Kendall was, which was charming and classy.  Ah Krystal, such a lady.  She takes the time to point out that she is wife material.

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Arie tells us this is Krystal’s last chance.  Their conversation is super confusing.  Arie is speaking English and Krystal is speaking crazy.  She doesn’t want to throw away the “color and texture” of their relationship.  They make out then Krystal took the time to tell him she’s not sure about if Kendall is emotionally ready for marriage.

Arie tells Kendall what Krystal said and Kendall calmly explains her rational viewpoint about readiness for marriage.  Then she goes back and tries to explain that she understands Krystal’s choice to say something negative about someone else when she feels cornered.  She is incredibly patient and kind and Krystal is incredibly bitch and bitch.

Arie comes back, grabs the rose, and says he needs more time so he’ll see the ladies at fake dinner.

Fast-forward to fake dinner where Krystal and Kendall arrive first.  Krystal starts out by telling Kendall just how similar their beliefs really are.  Kendall eloquently says that perhaps they have similar beliefs but they portray them and show them quite differently.

Arie shows up, and they cheers to the day.  Krystal says her and Kendall were just talking about how this journey is magical and indescribable… which is not even close to what they were talking about.

Arie takes Kendall to talk.  None of the talk is shown.  They come back to the table and Arie grabs the rose and talks about logic and instinct.  Then he does the smartest thing he’s done all season and gives Kendall the rose.  My favorite part is he says sorry to Krystal at the table then walks off with Kendall.  No walking to the car.  No final chat just the two of them.  No hug goodbye.

One-on-One- Jaqueline

I found this date incredibly boring.  Here is what I noted:

  • They kissed a lot
  • She has 6 more years of schooling
  • How will their lives work together?
  • More kissing
  • Arie gave her the rose

Rose Ceremony

Arie says it was a difficult week.  Currently Lauren B, Baby Bekah, Jaqueline, and Kendall have roses.  He gives remaining roses to:

  • Tia
  • Seinne
  • Becca

This sends Jenna (drunk blonde girl) and Chelsea (single mom blonde girl) home.  He says bye to Jenna then walks Chelsea out.

Lauren B is seen talking to a producer about how scary and hard this process is and how much she doesn’t want to get hurt.

Next week, Tuscany!

P.S. I’ve been there and I LOVED it.  I feel like they will probably do it wrong.

 

A Little Ketchup- or Catch Up

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Big Medical Words / Deep Thoughts About POTS / Sparkles & Rust / Uncategorized

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I’ve been feeling rough lately.  I’m not big on whining, but my POTS has just been extra angry lately.  I’ve had some passing out and some near passing out.  My stomach has been extra touchy.  Eating, sometimes even a small amount, has caused a big dizziness problem while digesting.  Ugh.  It’s just frustrating when I have things I would love to do, but my daily goals have been precious little.  Yesterday I accomplished a shower.  This week I washed and dried one load of laundry.  Today I did the dishes and tidied the kitchen a bit while cooking a simple meal.  That basically did me in.  My body temperature has been all over the place and super annoying.

I didn’t do a bachelor recap blog this week, because I passed out Monday night at family dinner.  I was far too wiped out to take notes, but for my readers, here’s a basic recap:

  • Chelsea went on a one-on-one where they jet skied and hung on a yacht.  He gave her the rose in a classic car warehouse.  She was happy and a bunch of kissing happened.
  • All of the other girls, except Tia, went on a group date bowling.  Much beer was consumed.  They broke into two teams and the winning team got to go to the evening portion of the date while the other team had to go home.  When baby Bekah’s team lost, Arie decided to include both teams in the evening fun.  Krystal threw a tantrum.  She refused to go to the after party.  Arie came to talk to her.  He gave her a lecture about her throwing a fit and told her to stay in the room.  She decided to get dressed up and go downstairs anyway.  He didn’t notice because his tongue was busy elsewhere.  The girls yelled at her and then she went upstairs again. I don’t remember who got the group date.
  • During his alone time with Kendall she asked him if he would eat human flesh if it was a tribe custom of a tribe he was visiting.  He said no.  She said of course she would.  RUN.
  • Tia got the other one-on-one and they went on a true outdoorsy Everglade date.  They saw an alligator and a turtle and ate fried frog legs at a weird old guy’s house.  They chatted easily and seemed cute together.
  • At the rose ceremony Marikh, Maquel and Ashley went home.  Krystal and her drama remain.

In Other News…

Taco Bell has Nacho Fries now.  I’ve tried them but I haven’t fully decided on my opinion of them yet.

I’m still enjoying selling at the farmer’s market.  I’ve moved my inventory out of the other store, so I’m keeping my eye open for somewhere perfect to sell.  I just finished up a bunch of real flower necklaces that I think are super cute.  You can always check out my treasures on my Facebook page if you’re bored or interested.

http://www.facebook.com/sparkles-and-rust-by-amy/

Really, I’m enjoying making fun crafts and things and I do ok selling them, but since I’ve been doing a bit worse, it’s hit and miss when I have time or energy to work on my little happy projects.

Upcoming Things

  • Tomorrow I have a class to go to in the evening.  I’m really hoping that I will be feeling up to it.  I already bought a ticket.  It’s a chocolate truffle making class.  I’m super excited.
  • Next week I am getting my hair done which is overdue and makes me happy, although it always wears me out getting it done.
  • I have my second live video of the year for Chronic Illness on the Mighty next Wednesday.
  • I am speaking at a women’s retreat coming up soon about my journey and my relationship with God throughout.

That’s what has been going on in my neck of the woods lately.  Stay smilin’ friends!

 

The Bachelor Arie: Episode 4

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Bachelor Recaps / Uncategorized

The show opens up with baby Bekah swimming in the pool.  I can’t describe the swimming stroke because I’m not familiar with it.  The other girls are inside discussing that Arie doesn’t know how young baby Bekah is.  A 14-year age gap simply can’t work.

Chris arrives to deliver the bad news that there won’t be a date today… in LA, because Arie is already gone.  It’s time to pack up and meet him in South Lake Tahoe.  Cue the screaming, which is very similar to the Monica and Phoebe ‘I have elbows’ scream.

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One-on-One Date- Seinne

“Let’s let our love soar.”

Arie picks her up in a big, lifted red outdoorsy truck.  They get on a boat and go parasailing.  The other girls are at the lodge watching through binoculars.  The producers make Seinne tell the camera that parasailing is like soaring and letting the wind direct you, which is like falling in love.

They picnic and drink champagne.

Back at the lodge Maquel gets a phone call from her mom who informs her that her grandpa passed away.  She packs up her suitcase and her pink backpack and leaves.

In the evening they chat at pretend dinner.  I don’t see a ton of chemistry, but maybe they just didn’t show those moments.  Arie tells a cute little story about her getting her fairy tale when he gives her the rose.  After dinner they dance in front of a crowd at a Lanco concert.  They do have some pretty cute kisses during dancing.  I’m relieved I put her in my top four.

Group Date- Chelsea, Krystal, Becca, Marikh, Ashley, J-quellin, Jenna, Tia, Kendall, Lauren, Brittany & Caroline

“Will our love survive?”

The girls are spending some time in the wilderness with Arie.

Krystal puts on her sweater and her crazy.

They hike off to meet up with a green beret survival expert and his wife.  He gives them all a bottle to go pee in.  Then tells them they need to be able to drink their own pee.  Arie leads by example by drinking up.  Then as J-Quellin is about to drink her own urine, Arie tells them it’s just apple juice that he drank.

Snack time!  Tia is excited for worms and maggots.  Kendall is in her element.  Afterwards she steals Arie off into the forest to makeout… with worm guts in her mouth.  SICK.  I’m pretending a producer handed them a bottle of Scope.

The girls are broken into three groups.  They get a map and a compass to direct them to a hidden oasis.  The team with Arie arrives first to the hot tubs and champagne.  I enjoyed the team with Becca.  They at least had fun with it.

In the evening time Kendall and Arie chat about her taxidermy loves.  She brought a duckling named Ping with her today.  She says he is a great traveler.  Arie points out that he is dead.  Kendall disagrees.  Then they makeout.

Chelsea does a fantastic Krystal impression.

Krystal is craaaaazy.  She goes to tell Arie about the target on her back and how much she pours love into people. (???)  She gets all airy and breathy about the other girls being mean and mocking her in the hot tub.  Krystal pulls Tia and Caroline aside to tell them they were mean.  Tia speaks all kinds of truth to her.  Krystal says that all of the girls are so insecure and it’s embarrassing.

Krystal said these words, ” I try really hard not to be intimidating to the girls I hang out with on a regular basis, because I’m flawless.”  AND DELUSIONAL.

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One-on-One- Baby Bekah

Cowboy and General are the horses who take Arie and Bekah on a tour through the Tahoe mountains.  They seem pretty normal.  Bekah has on a fur vest.

Meanwhile, the producers have paired off each different variation of two girls to discuss Bekah’s age.

Bekah and Arie are too busy in the hot tub to worry about that conversation now.  Really, their conversation seems to flow easily and they always have fun together.  Of course their tongue conversation is fine too.

At dinner they talk about if they are in the same places of life.  He says ‘you know’ 200 times.  She says ‘yeah’ 200 times.  He talks about how he is 36 and wonders what she does in her free time and if it matches up.  She mentions getting up early on Saturdays to drive up to Palm Springs to climb with her friends.  Then, she asks if he knows how old she is.  She tells him and he gasps.  He tells her he is just worried that she’s not ready because she is so young.

I get that she is young, but she seems much more mature than Krystal, who is 30.  Maybe age isn’t everything.  Maybe he shouldn’t decide her feelings or her readiness for her.

He hesitates and seems really worried, but he was naked in a hot tub with her two hours ago so I’m not worried at all.  He gives her the rose.  He keeps saying he is worried.  She tells him to stop, which is appropriate.

Cocktail Party & Rose Ceremony

Krystal is crazy as always.  She is not confident tonight because her character was attacked.  No one remembers when that took place.  While Krystal is giving advice the other girls take a short nap.  Chris interrupts her life coaching to say that there will be no cocktail party tonight.

They line up for the rose ceremony and he picks up the first rose.  But oh wait, Krystal just needs a moment of his time.  SHOCKING.

“Oh, Lord have Mercy”- Brittany.

Krystal’s super pressing words were that she has so much adoration and respect for the other girls and she’s so proud of herself for breaking down walls to make a connection with Arie.

Roses go to:

  • Lauren
  • Kendall
  • Ashley
  • Becca K.
  • Chelsea
  • Jenna
  • J-Quellin
  • Marikh
  • Krystal

This sends Brittany and Caroline home.  Caroline is super sad, but actually I think she is more mad that she wet home and crazy Krystal stayed.

During the credits we see Marikh confront Chelsea about her comments to Arie.

“Did you tell him I had a mirror in my compass?”

“I don’t think I said that; I told him you were brushing your hair.”

“I was only brushing my hair because it looked like bleep.”

“It was lighthearted.”

“With slut shaming being so common, it’s like you were glam-shaming me.”

Later Chelsea tells the camera that she was a former model.  She understands glamming it up.  She was and still is pro-glam.

Image result for gif phew

Twitter Favorites

12318 twitter

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Mother Russia Kristina has a serious question for Arie.

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Then I stumbled onto Baby Bekah’s twitter where she made this incredibly valid point.

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That’s all folks!  Tune in next week for more Krystal drama and wondering if Bekah is ready for marriage.

The Bachelor Arie: Episode 3

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Bachelor Recaps / Uncategorized

Chris H. saunters in and tells the girls that this week there are two group dates and one romantic one-on-one.

Group Date 1: Maquel, J-Quellin, Lauren B, Tia, Marikh, Bekah M, Bibiana & Krystal

“It’s all about the Ring”

Monica on friends was already fooled by ring talk once before, although I sincerely hope the girls will be competing for the ultimate fighting champion.

Two old ladies from an 80’s wrestling show come to teach the girls how to act, fall and be tough.  The old ladies tried to toughen up Tia and Bibiana and they ended up crying in the corner together.  They all dress up in ridiculous and mostly scandalous costume and parade around the ring smashing and falling down.  Somehow Tia is supposedly the winner.  I don’t get it.

In the evening they go to some cute little RV park of airstreams.  Krystal “steals” him first and as predicted the girls are mad.  Bibiana is going to take it upon herself to go taddle to Arie.  Krystal Krystals it up in there talking with the girls.  Bekah M. rolls her eyes.

Bekah M tells Arie her longest relationship was 2 1/2 to 3 years, which was in Junior High I presume.

Arie gives the rose to Bekah M.  Krystal says she’s not just going to sit by and watch other girls form relationships, even though that is exactly the premise of the show.

One-on-One Date- Lauren S.

“You had me at merlot.”

Lauren S. says she thinks it’s about wine.

Image result for gif jim from office

They fly to a winery to drink wine and chat.  Lauren tells Arie it was so quiet she could hear a penny drop.  Wait, what?  I think she means pin.  They wander through the winery and chat about going to bed early and wearing cardigans.  At ‘dinner’ she talks about how her career really took off (btw, she is a social media manager which means she has an Instagram?).  Arie is so bored with her talking about random eye infections that he actually cuts the for-show-only food and eats it.

She stops babbling long enough for Arie to pick up the rose to quickly send her away.

Cut to the girls sitting around makeup-less to see the guy take away her suitcase.  Caroline bursts into tears and then Krystal takes the opportunity to give a speech about how well she knows Arie and tried to encourage Lauren S to open up and obviously she didn’t take her advice, because she knows Arie so well.

Caroline wishes she would stop being so condescending to everyone because she met his dog.

Group date 2- Ashley, Becca K Brittany Jenna Caroline Chelsea Annaliese

“Love is ruff.”

Guess what? Annaliese had a dog trauma.  Her grandparents’ dog named sunshine bit her and she almost lost her eye.  Annaliese was almost a pirate.

None of the dogs seem to obey any of the commands.  Annaliese scoops poop that is blocked out with a black modesty box.

In the evening, Arie pulls Chelsea away first.  It was hard for her to be in a playground and around kids.  She channels her inner Kanye and said, “I actually adore the person that I have become.”

Image result for meme i love me

Annaliese tries to be aggressive and it doesn’t go well.  Arie welcomes the interruption of Chelsea to makeout with him.  He rewards her with the date rose.

Cocktail Party

Let the drama begin.  Arie grabs Sienne first.  Bibiana decides to make a special scene.  She puts together a couch and cabana area with a telescope and binoculars for star gazing (not spying on the neighbors I guess).  Arie takes Lauren out and finds a cute setup (Bibiana’s) and puts her on the daybed to makeout.  Bibiana walks out to see him using her setup with Lauren.  Not only that, he asks her for five more minutes.  Yikes.

Then Arie takes every other girl to that same spot.  Except Tia.  He (a producer) makes a cute little country setup for her.  He gets hay bails and moonshine for her.  *Adorable*.  Arie says moonshine tastes ‘like gasoline, but in a good way.’

Annaliese takes Arie to the roof or a balcony and he says she seems stressed.  She says it’s because she really wants him to kiss her.  He tells her that he just doesn’t think they are there yet.  OUCH.  That is your cue to leave Annaliese.  She cries, but Marikh tells her to go ask him one more time just to get clarity.  HORRIBLE advice.  She goes again to ask just to be sure.  He says no and walks her out.  Obviously.

The flavor of the room is tension as the girls line up for the rose ceremony.

Chelsie and Bekah already have roses from the two group dates.

Roses go to:

  • Caroline
  • Kendall
  • Ashley
  • Lauren
  • Brittany
  • Becca K.
  • Seinne
  • Krystal
  • Tia
  • Maquel
  • Jenna
  • J-quellin
  • Marikh

This sends Bibiana home.  She never even got to use the setup she made.  She falls apart, but eventually tells the camera that she can’t force something that isn’t there.  She’s gonna be ok.  Good news though, she’ll be at the Bachelor Winter Games in February.

Best Twitter Reactions

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That’s all folks!  Tune in next week for more sloppy kisses and more drama.

The Bachelor Arie: Episode Two

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We open to a scene of Arie putting on a helmet and getting on a motorcycle.  He’s speeding over to the mansion to pick up the future Mrs. Luyendyk.

One-on-One- Becca K

“Hold on tight.” Arie

She walks out to the motorcycle and he gives her a leather jacket and puts her helmet on for her while the other girls watch half scowling.

He takes her to meet with Rachel Zoe, a famous designer (I know this because they wrote it on the screen).  She gets to try on a bunch of dresses to pick one for tonight’s date.  He walks outside and gets down on one knee and gives her Louboutins.  Obviously we were concerned if the shoes would match the dress.  You gotta give her the shoes first, Arie.  Of course Neil Lane sends his best, with the briefcase of diamonds that shows up for her to wear.

If she had a cell phone, she would be texting the other girls at the house right now.  Not to worry, she takes the gowns, shoes, and diamonds back to the house to get ready.  Bibiana cries when she sees the shoes because she’s never seen them in real life.  Later outside, she is still crying about the beauty of the shoes and I love her a little bit more.

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She arrives looking gorgeous and he looks a’ight.  Their ‘dinner’ conversation is kind of like grown up conversation, which is always surprising on this show. Also, I love that she tells him that she heard he can fix her brakes on her car.  She has a personality.  I like her.

He gives her the rose.  Then tells her she gets to keep the diamond earrings.  Then one more surprise.  She pulls a cord that says “pull”.  Bam, gold confetti falls as they kiss.

One-on-One- Krystal

“Home is where the heart is.” Arie.

Krystal pulls up in a limo.  She gets a red carpet leading to an airplane.  They fly to Scottsdale.  He takes her to his house and gives her a tour.  They watch home videos then jump in his car and go to his parent’s house.  They have a bit of money, by the way.  Krystal is a bit worried because she is not at all close to her family and what will Arie think?  My guess is something along the lines of ‘I don’t have to meet in-lawns? The horror.’

In the evening they go to some big huge building for dinner.  She tells him about her childhood not being great.  She cared for her younger brother mostly.  She shares that her brother is living on the streets and how very difficult it is for her.  She cries.  Then he sends her away.  Just kidding.  He gives her the rose, of course.

They go into a big hall/theater and Connor Duermet is singing.  They slow dance.  Arie says that Connor Duermet is unbelievable, while pretending that he has heard of him before.

Group Date- Maquel, Marikh, Tia, Valerie, Annaleise, Lauren G, Kendall, Bekah, Jenny, Jenna, Seinne, Jenna, Caroline, Brittany, Bibiana & Chelsea

“Let’s hit love head on.” Arie

15 girls. The girls are NOT thrilled.  They were hoping for a bit more intimate of a group date.  They take a party bus and I am beyond impressed that they found a party bus without a stripper pole.  The outfit of the day is spandex shorts or yoga pants and a tank top, halter, or belly shirt of some sort.

They get spray paint and get to decorate their cars.  Tia says surely someone will cry today.  Annaleise steps up to the plate.  Turns out she had a traumatic bumper car incident.  Cut to Jenny (who I picked based on bios and pics alone to win the final rose) laughing about bumper car trauma.  She says they can’t start until she gets done crying.

Welcome to the BASHELOR demolition derby.  Wait, Annaleise is still crying.  She’s telling the cameras that she feels better in the suit because it is like a protective blanket, but oh wait, they are bringing in fire extinguishers which makes her start crying again.

They start up the engines.  After some brutal bashing it comes down to Tia and Seinne.  Tia (from Arkansas) claims she has never done this before.  We don’t believe her.  Seinne ends up the winner.

They sit by the fire in the evening and pour champagne.  The champagne barely hits the glass and Chelsie is up and stealing away Arie.  She has to confess about another man in her life, her three year old son, Sammy.  She tells the girls that’s why she had to go first, to come clean about her momness.  The other girls call her out.  Their life is important too.

Arie tells Bekah (short hair) that he loves her energy.  I point out that she is 22 and therefore still has energy.  She responds with, “wanna make out?” or something along those lines.

Meanwhile, Bibiana has a tantrum because she didn’t get to talk to him.  She proclaims she is done and marches off yelling at the camera that they better not follow her, which they do obviously.

Arie gathers the girls and grabs the date rose.  He tells Chelsie she opened up to him and he’s thankful for that, then he turns his attention to Seinne and says they had a good conversation too, so he gives her the rose.  Chelsie is NOT pumped.

chelsie

Cocktail Party

The glitter is on the and gloves are off.

Arie and Lauren B. are out talking and Krystal comes out to interrupt.  Arie tells her to give him a moment, which rarely happens.  1. Krystal has a rose and got a ONE on ONE.  2. Lauren B didn’t even get to go on a date at all.

Bibiana sits down to talk to Arie, for like the first time all season and dun-dun-dun Krystal opens the door.  Do you mind?  Yes, I really do.  She is the first person to ever say no when someone asks for time.  It’s about dang time.  Krystal goes back inside and Arie asks Bibiana if it’s getting tough in there.  He knows.  He knows Krystal is a problem.  Correct your ways, Arie.

Bibiana and Krystal have words.  Bibiana’s are all yelly and threatening and Krystal’s are all baby talk and airy, but with a smoker’s voice.

Roses go to:

Maquel – the 23 yr old “photographer”

J-Quellin – pretty dark curly hair

Bekah M – short hair kiddo

Jenna – spastic blonde

Chelsie – was the villain before Krystal started upping her game

Lauren S. – a blonde lauren

Tia – Raven’s friend from Arkansas

Annaleise – wore the mask night one.  Bumper car PTSD.

Lauren B. – Hmmm don’t recall

Kendall – Taxidermy girl

Brittany – first kiss ever. was injured in the demolition derby.

Ashley – Didn’t go on a date this week.

Marikh – Restaurant owner

Caroline – Realtor who is ‘really good at her job’

Bibiana – Put Krystal in her place

This sends Jenny (who was patient enough to wait for bumper car PTSD girl to stop crying), pineapple girl (Britane G.), and the only redhead (Valerie) home.  Well shoot.  I guess I am not good at picking based only on bios and pictures alone.

I decided to add a new section, for y’all.

Twitter Favorites

Raven’s good eye.

Bashelor

Evan points out that we are two for two on rose ceremonies ending the show.

evan

After Jenny left, she told Arie she wasn’t sad about him, she was sad about leaving her new friends.  Then she told the camera that she has never been dumped in her life.

jenny

See y’all next week!

The Bachelor Arie- Week 1

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Bachelor Recaps / Uncategorized

arie

The things I do for you people.  I spent precious moments of my life reading the ‘biographies’ of these women.  I’ll never get that time back, but I go to these lengths for the entertainment of you folks.  You’re welcome.

Chris Harrison starts by introducing him as the best kisser in bachelor history.  Anyone else wonder how Chris knows? In case you haven’t kept up, Arie is still racing cars, but he is also a realtor now too.  I mention this only because half of the girls are realtors and maybe this is why.  He must be looking for both a wife and a business partner.

How are they still letting people on the show who have obviously NOT SEEN the show.  “I just didn’t realize there would be so much competition on night one.”  Really?  How? HOW did you not realize this?

Prepare for a season with four Lauren’s.  Also, there is only one Ashley.  How old are we getting that the new young kids aren’t Ashleys anymore?

Let’s spray down the driveway and roll in the limos to meet these ladies and kiddos.

Caroline- Realtor

In her little pre-show intro she says that she has been a realtor for less than a year and she has over 5 million in sales so she is “like, really good at her job.”  She said those words.  I was not impressed.  Especially since originally I put her in my top 4 of my fantasy league.  Shoot.  Who knows if she’ll still be there by the time final picks have to be locked in.

She gets out of the limo and makes a cheesy realtor joke about both of them being off the market at the end.  She wore a white sparkly dress showcasing her cleavage and later brought him a pizza to eat by the fire.  The pizza won me over.  I would give her a rose.

BIO TIDBIT: If you could have lunch with three people, who would you choose? Vince Vaughn, Betty White, and Ryan Reynolds. It would be a blast of a lunch and we’d pretend it was Betty’s birthday at a Hibachi restaurant!  (This is obviously why I put her in my top four.)

Status: ROSE

Chelsea- Real Estate Executive Assistant

She gets out of the limo and says this masterpiece, “There’s a lot to um. to get to know.”  Arie thinks she is mysterious.  I found her boring.  It’s clear that she will definitely be a villain this season.  She ‘steals’ him first after his toast and goes back again a scandalous second time later in the evening/morning.  I smell trouble.

BIO TIDBIT: I hate it when my date… displays over-the-top PDA. Let me breathe! (I’m throwing my B.S. flag here because I saw her tongue go into his mouth several times. Ew.)

Status: First Impression Rose

Kendall- Creative Director (??)

She jumped out of the limo in a powder pink gown with bright red lips.  She is a collector of taxidermy, which is creepy but also stupid expensive.  BTW, I collect diamonds.  She also plays the ukulele and played a cute little song to Arie later in the night.

BIO TIDBIT: What does your ideal mate look like? Tall, easy smile, can survive a zombie apocalypse-type body. (I married a guy with that body type.)

Status: Rose

Seinne- Commercial Real Estate Manager

She gave Arie a gift of elephant cufflinks, because elephants are good luck, and also because elephants never forget so he shouldn’t forget to come find her inside later to talk.  Aww.

BIO TIDBIT:   What’s your favorite holiday? New Year’s Eve – new beginnings and lots of champagne. (She’s going to do juuuust fine in the mansion.)

Status: Rose

Tia- Physical therapist

She is friends with Raven, who encouraged her to go on the show.  She is from Weiner, AR. She got out of the limo with a tiny Oscar meyer weiner and gave it to him saying, “I hope you don’t already have a tiny weiner.”  He simply said, “I don’t already have this.”  He wasn’t about playing into her joke.

BIO TIDBIT:  What is the best trip you have ever been on and why? Cancun to a random swingers resort. HA! It was actually fun.

Status: Rose

Bibiana- Executive Assistant

I think she will be entertaining.  She met him and instantly told the cameras she realized their babies would have blue eyes.

BIO TIDBIT: Would you consider yourself a lover of art? Yes. Wish I could be art. (what?)

Status: Rose

Bri- Sports Reporter

She exits the limo and throws a softball to Arie.  She used to play softball and now she is a sports reporter.

BIO TIDBIT: What is your greatest achievement to date? Putting myself together after heartache and winning an Emmy! (Like, a real Emmy?)

Status: No Rose

Britane J

I would assume this name is pronounced Bri-tane, rhyming with butane, but apparently it is pronounced Britany.  She puts a ‘nice butt’ bumper sticker on Arie’s behind.

BIO TIDBIT: Lunch with three people alive or dead? Whitney Houston, Bernie Sanders and Beyoncé. (One person I don’t want to have lunch with… Britane J.)

Status: No Rose

Jaqueline- Research Coordinator

She works for a psychiatry research lab.  Interestingly enough, later in the evening when talking to Arie she says the word “therapizing.”  I checked and apparently it is a word.

I’m not mature enough to pronounce her name correctly.  It’s the late-night dispatcher in me who gave many a return over the radio as J-Quellin.

BIO TIDBIT: If you won the lottery, what would you do with your winnings? Buy a penthouse in Soho, build a wild animal conservation in Africa/India, have a pet cheetah. (But, would she name her pet cheetah Chester?)

Status: Rose

Krystal- fitness coach

In her little intro we learn that she is a fitness coach and cares deeply about people.  Not only that, but her brother has been homeless for three years and she really wants to help him, but he is not ready for help.  It breaks her heart so she makes snack bags and lunches for homeless people in the area.  Well, that’s actually kinda cool.  She seems sweet.  I’m not sure if she smokes a lot, is getting over a cold, or works for a 900 phone line (if those still exist).  Arie says her voice is soothing.

He says “I wanna know more about you. We don’t have much time.”  She replies. “I’m a libra.”  Perfect.  Excellent way to use your 7 seconds.

BIO TIDBIT: Are you a country or a city person? Can you ever take the country out of the girl?

Status: Rose

Nysha- Orthopedic Nurse

She seems sweet, smart, and gorgeous.  Obviously he gets rid of her immediately.

BIO TIDBIT: If you could be a fictional character, who would you be and why? Mulan. She pretended to be a man and went to war. How badass is that? Or Willy Wonka. The man had his own chocolate factory!

Status: No Rose

Valerie- Server

She arrives wearing a bright yellow dress, hot pink lips, and I believe she is the only redhead in the bunch.

Do you have any fears? Don’t make me swim in the deep ocean. There is so much that we don’t know about the deep sea… I don’t want to get eaten. (FOOL.  Does she not know these producers? If she makes it far enough, she’ll be on the deep sea diving date. If I went on this I would say my fears are pizza and puppies.  Then I could ‘overcome’ my fears. I’m no fool.)

Status: Rose

Bekah M- Nanny

This kid is the youngest on the show, 22. She is also gorgeous and pretty funny with her facial expressions and her impressions of the other girls.  I selfishly hope she goes far so she can give us good commentary.  She pulled up driving a 65 red mustang.  I have two questions… can she drive a manual?  Does she have her license, or at least her learner’s permit?

She walks up to him and says, “I may be young, but I can still appreciate something classic.”

Later in the evening they sit on the back of the car and chat.  He says he is nervous too wondering if the person sitting next to him likes him.  She said, “so far I do”.  I thought that was quite the answer.  Usually it’s something along the lines of, “marry me immediately; I’m in love with you already because I saw you on tv.” She asks him what are three things that make him excited to be alive.  He replied with, “excitement.”  She giggles and makes fun of him for saying excitement makes him excited to be alive.

I know she’s a young whippersnapper, but I like her.

BIO TIDBIT: What’s your guilty pleasure? Binge-watching reality TV and eating bags of popcorn in place of meals.

Status: Rose

Jenna- Social Media Manager (Me too.)

She was a bit all over the place when talking to Arie.  Changed topics quick and talked with her hands a bunch.  All of a sudden she was massaging his feet.

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BIO TIDBIT: What is the most outrageous thing you have ever done? Breaking my wrist on a mechanical bull was pretty memorable.

Status: Rose

Jessica- Television Host

She brought a gratitude rock for him.  Apparently her dad met Arie a long time ago and she and her dad rooted for him on Emily’s season.  Now, her dad is dead and she knows he would approve of Arie and would have met her husband.

BIO TIDBIT: Do you have any family holiday or special event traditions that you plan to uphold? Every year my family and I build homes for homeless families in Mexico. We have built 20 homes and I plan to continue every year! (Way to make me feel bad about myself.)

Status: No Rose

Marikh- Restaurant Owner

She comes out of the limo and says “I use lots of different spices, but I need a little salt and pepper in my life.” Since she owns an Indian restaurant, yes, she does need more salt and pepper and less curry.

In her little intro video she says she isn’t used to pursuing a guy as she is typically the one pursued.  She also is shown boxing and in full makeup, as we all do.

BIO TIDBIT: Who is your favorite actor, and why? Meryl Streep. Because Meryl Streep.

Status: Rose

Olivia- Marketing Associate

I have zero notes about her.

BIO TIDBIT: What’s your favorite book of all time? 50 Shades of Grey (Of ALL time? Or you’ve only read one book? Or, just saw the movie?)

Status: No Rose

Becca K- Publicist

She has Arie get down on one knee and repeat after her, “Rebecca Jill, are you ready to do the damn thing?” She hopes he will start the show proposing to her and finish it proposing to her.

BIO TIDBIT:  What are your top three all-time favorite movies? Sister Act 2, Gladiator, Pitch Perfect (Sister Act 2??? Who would say Sister Act 2 is better than Sister Act?  And what human likes both Gladiator and Pitch Perfect.  She’s a mystery.)

Status: Rose

Lauren S- Social Media Something (again, like all of us)

Arie loves her energy.  I think what he means by energy is the giant hole in the front of her dress.

BIO TIDBIT: What is your highest athletic achievement? Participation trophies.

Status: Rose

Lauren J- Recent Graduate (unemployed)

I have no notes for this Lauren.

BIO TIDBIT: What are five things you can’t live without? Mama, my nephews, porch swings, mascara and love.

Status: No Rose

Lauren B- Tech Salesperson

Another Lauren? I got nothing.

BIO TIDBIT: What is the most embarrassing thing you listen to? T-Swift (so basic).

Status: No Rose

Lauren G- Executive Recruiter

My favorite Lauren.

I remember nothing about her limo exit, but later in the night she had him close his eyes and put a fruit in his mouth.  She asked him what it was and he said, “that’s a pineapple.” She said, “good. that’s my safeword.”  And I fell over laughing.  Two points for Lauren G.

BIO TIDBIT: What’s one of the top things on your bucket list? Visiting the pyramids in Egypt.

Status: Rose

Ashley- Real Estate Agent

She brought a checkered flag and said something about making it to the finish line.

BIO TIDBIT: All-time favorite movies: No Country for Old Men, The Family Stone, and Superbad.

Status: Rose

Brittany T- Tech Recruiter

She came out of the limo in a black dress and told him that he’s handsome in Dutch.  Later she had a mini car race with him and also got the first kiss from him.

BIO TIDBIT: Where do you meet guys? I don’t… jk. The past two I’ve met have been through dating apps and they’re terrible human beings.

Status: Rose

Amber- Business Owner

She owns a spray tan company, which is evident.  Her opening line is, “In my line of work I see a lot of bleep.  So let’s just hope you aren’t another bleep.”

Image result for bold strategy cotton gif

BIO TIDBIT: What is the most outrageous thing you have ever done? Hold a HUGE python in Thailand. I hate snakes so this was crazy for me. I wanted to feel like Britney Spears at the VMAs, I did not.

Status: No Rose. And a lot of tears.

Jenny- Graphic Artist

Gave him a drawing she did of him.  We were seriously hoping that she would turn around the frame and it would be a stick figure, but it was actually a pretty good drawing.

Fun fact, based on pics and bios alone, I put her as winning the final rose.  I have a couple weeks before those answers have to be locked in so we shall see if she stays in that position.

BIO TIDBIT: What are your top three all-time favorite movies? Crazy, Stupid, Love, 21 Jump Street, Stand by Me

Status: Rose

Ali- Personal Stylist

Her brilliant opening line was “smell my pits.  Was that the best pit stop of your life?”

BIO TIDBIT:  If you could be a fictional character, who would you be and why? Wonder Woman! She has it all: strength, class, beauty and confidence! (But what do her armpits smell like?)

Status: No Rose

Annaliese- Event Designer

She wore a mask because Arie is the “kissing bandit”.

BIO TIDBIT: Describe your idea of the ultimate date? My ultimate date involves good conversation, laughter, kissing and wine.

Status: Rose

Maquel- Photographer

She rolls in driving an Indy car, takes her helmet off and tosses her long blonde hair about. The other girls are watching and they are not amused.

BIO TIDBIT: Which non-U.S. city in the most romantic to you, and why? Paris. Obvi (I see an Eiffel tower in upcoming previews so she will be happy, if she makes it that long, obvi.)

Status: Rose (the final rose)

At one point in the night a girl is heard saying, “The older guys get, the better looking they get.”  I love the way they talk like he is 300 years old.  I am completely excited for this season, plus I really like Arie so I do hope he is able to focus and actually pick someone that is right for him.

In other news, I snapped this picture for you.  I’ve never seen this before in all the years of watching the Bachelor franchise.  Look at this weird champagne glass.  Or, could it be, a coffee cup?  Is she drinking something other than alcohol?  Do the producers know?  Or is it an Irish coffee?  Is this young whippersnapper drinking coffee to stay awake until the wee morning hours?  What do we think? Also, look how stinking cute she is.

bekah coffee cup

Arie is in the driver’s seat and wants us all to know he is switching stuff up this season.  I’m ready.  The girls are ready.  Rev your engines and get ready to race into this journey to find love.  That was so corny it physically hurt me.  I’m off to find coffee, now.

Tune in next week for more drama!

 

 

 

 

 

 

The First “Real” Christmas

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Tom and I have had many a Christmas together.  They have all been great, in different reasons.  I’m not going to lie, the first Christmas we had as a couple was amazing.  It was when I learned that Tom had the ability to lie to me about a gift.  He promised that he didn’t buy me a gun and not to get my hopes up.  Christmas morning I opened the most beautiful pink 1911 with mother of pearl hand grips.  Years later he got me again with the old, “honey don’t get your hopes up.  I’m not proposing to you on this trip.”  The whole drive home I was distracted by a big perfect diamond on my left hand.  This Christmas was different though than years past.

In the world of law enforcement sometimes Christmas morning is at 4:30 PM (1630).  Or 2:00 AM (0200).  Sometimes Christmas is the 23rd, or the 27th.  It’s not about what day it is or what time it is, it’s about having the family time together, whenever it works out.  Tom and I have made our peace with it, and it makes no difference.  Getting Christmas off as a cop is nothing to count on.  Having Christmas off as a dispatcher is nothing to count on.  Some agencies go with the ‘luck-of-the-rotation-draw’ and some allow you to take the day off, but that requires pretty high seniority.  The chances of both a cop and a dispatcher magically getting Christmas off together, pretty much impossible.

Now that I am not dispatching, we only have one shift work schedule to handle.  The thing about old cops is that they can’t wait to have the seniority to get off that horrible relaxing, exciting and wonderful night shift.  They all run away to day shift (which is bright, loud, boring and FULL of admin).  Why anyone would choose to go there is beyond me.  Either way, on Tom’s platoon he holds high enough seniority to get Christmas Eve and Christmas day off.  We got to have Carter this year for Christmas too.

This is the first year that the stars have aligned in such a way that Tom could have Christmas Eve and Christmas day free from work and that Carter could be here with us for ALL of Christmas Eve and all of Christmas and then some.

If you aren’t on Facebook, or aren’t following me on Facebook, I’m going to share a post I wrote on Christmas Eve at 9:30 pm.

I know I haven’t been a real dispatcher for two years now, but a part of me still feels a bit guilty being home with my family Christmas Eve night AND Christmas day.  Tom has seniority now so we are both here with Carter.  Tonight, Tom asked Carter what his favorite Christmas memory was.  He replied, “Now. Getting to spend our first real Christmas all together.” 

Thanks to the badges and the headsets covering for us.  I know what it’s like and I’m appreciative of all you do and the sleep you’re losing to work and still make a perfect Christmas for your family. 

Nothing like having an 8-year old punch you in the heart.  Man, I love that kiddo.

*****

On the 21st we did a Christmas light tour in Spokane and Tom surprised us with Dairy queen blizzards.  The dogs were with us and got hamburgers and they were quite pleased with dad’s plan.  There were many great light displays, but nothing compared to the ‘Big tree’.  It’s fantastic and the lights twinkle and flash in all different orders.

big tree

The night of the 22nd we surprised Carter and a few of his friends with a limo light tour.  Monica and I made treat buckets for the kiddos and my mom made a scavenger hunt of lights to look for throughout the journey.

limo snack buckets

The snack buckets included carrots & ranch dressing in fancy goblets, reindeer poop (raisins), chex mix, candy canes, snowman string cheese, individual sparkling cider bottles, Grinch popcorn, and other fun snacks.

limo

limo kids with sparkling cider

limo mon and me

Monica made us Merry Mimosa mugs customized with our names.

The boys thought it was hilarious that they were riding in a fancy limo eating a bucket of peanut butter each.

limo peanut butter

We even brought Home Alone to watch on the flat screen in the limo while in between light displays.  The kiddos all had a blast.

****

Christmas Eve morning Tom took us to the very fancy Davenport Brunch.  It was delicious.

davenport tree

Carter asked us if they had any napkins, which was confusing because his linen napkin was in his lap.  We explained that the linen square in his lap was his napkin.  He was confused, “They throw these away?”  Apparently our lack of fanciness was catching up to us.  He now understands that linen napkins can be laundered.

While we were waiting for our reservation, I became my mom for a few moments.  I explained to Carter the importance of looking up in older buildings and that even if the design is not your favorite style, there is much to be appreciated about the attention to detail that went into each pillar and beam and the intricate carvings.

davenport lobby

The chocolate fountain was most certainly Carter’s favorite.

****

Each year I add a building to my Christmas village.  This year, I finally decided to be realistic and add something I would certainly need were it a village I truly inhabited.

christmas village

village pharmacy

village pharmacy 2

It’s safe to say it was a truly wonderful first “real” Christmas all together.