Bachelorette Becca: Episode 3

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Bachelorette Recaps / Uncategorized

It’s raining outside the mansion.  Eggs are being scrambled.  Shade is being thrown.  Bromances are forming.

Chris shows up to tell the guys what this week looks like.  Two “fantastic” group dates and a one-on-one.

Group Date: Wills, Colton, Jason, Jean-Blanc,  Jordan, David

“It’s time to Relax

The guys load up on the bus excited to go hang with Becca… and her girlfriends.  A bunch of the ladies from last season are here to hang too.  It’s a spa day!  The girls are three mimosas in and Becca can’t remember Jason’s name.  Oopsie.  (Did I not say they should be wearing Price is Right name tags?)

The guys are doing pedicures and chair massages for the girls, which I find weird.  Kendall brings the voice of reason, “I’m looking more for which are pampering Becca, moreso than any of us.”

Then the girls took turns painting the guys’ fingernails.  Why? Because mimosas.

We have to spend some time focusing on what Colton thinks about Tia being there and what Tia thinks.  Did he come on the show because he thought it would be Tia?  Do we care?  Becca has to talk to Tia to see what she thinks.  It’s pretty much a nonissue in my opinion and a bit boring.

Fun fact: Baby Bekah is there too.  Someone smart on Twitter wrote: “I hope Bekah let her mom know she was headed out before she left.”  Remember that one time she was missing for a while?

Onto the evening.

Jean-Blanc grabs her hand to admire her nails, then smoothly pulls her up to come away and talk with her.

Image result for smooth like butter

Then here comes the drama.  Somehow Tender comes up.  Jordan got a notification for 2017 that said “Congratulations, you hit 4,000 matches in 2017”.  Damn… He also mentions that he thinks his success rate is 100%.  He is certain that every person he swipes right on clearly swipes back.

David- the chicken suit guy- currently has teal nails and takes it upon himself to tell Becca about Jordan’s 4000 matches.  After their talk Becca casually high-fives Jordan in front of the other guys for his 4000 matches.  Jordan calls David a bitch, then says “cheers to you being a bitch.”  (A new favorite toast of mine)

The main entertainment of this exchange was not Jordan and David, in my opinion.  It was these guys sipping cocktails and trying to keep it together on the couch.

jason and wills

Cheers to Jason and Wills for being all of us- enjoying the drama in the corner.

Becca says it’s time to talk with Colton to make sure he is here for her.  He reassures her.  Evidently he reassures her so well that she gives him the rose.

Jordan is furious.  He is going to be implicit and David needs to be concerned.  Karma is Karma.

One-on-One- Chris

They jump out of the limo at a recording studio.  They get to meet the singer and writer of the song that goes “wherever you go, whatever you do, I’ll be right here waiting for you”.  That guy (Richard Marx) tells Chris that he is going to help him write a love song about his feelings.  Chris looks like he wants to throw up.  I would too.

They have spent 37 seconds together so far.  Who wouldn’t be able to whip up a little ditty quick-like?  Chris has a hard time being vulnerable.  Again, who wouldn’t?  He just met her the other day.

He actually did a really great job with throwing together some lines about being vulnerable and breaking down walls.  They looked pretty cute in their little recording studio makeout session.

At dinner they talk about their background and history.  Chris tells a said story about his dad leaving at a young age.  Five years ago he wrote him a letter and never heard back.  They connect and wander down the hallway to Richard Marx playing the piano.  They dance around and makeout.


Group Date- Clay, Leo, Christon, Ryan, John, Garrett, Mike, Lincoln, Connor, Blake

“We can tackle anything together”

After the date card is read, the guys quickly determine that this must be football.  Leo pipes up that there’s one professional football player and a bunch of chumps!  This is true and funny.

Jordan is bored apparently and quickly tells Colton he has a question for him and it can be one-on-one or in a group.  Jordan says it is about last night.  Colton says ok shoot.  As soon as he hears the name Tia come out of Jordan’s mouth, he says, “nope, this is a one-on-one conversation.” Colton says he would never ask the other guys about their exes.  Jordan quickly points out that the guys last night asked about his love life.  David mentions that Jordan brought it up himself.  Jordan is cranky.  He tells the camera he talks to God everyday and God knows what’s up.  If someone isn’t good in his life, he 86’s them.  Just like God says to do.  Love your neighbor as yourself, or 86 them; it’s up to you.

Suddenly, the cameras return to the mansion to blood smeared everywhere.  As they were putting him on a stretcher, Colton says he looked like a bear attacked him.  His roommate is saying he was laying on the floor flat as a board and covered in blood.  The guys are hoping he is gonna be ok.

And those are the only details we get until Chris goes to tell Becca what happened.  David is in the hospital in ‘intensive care’.  He fell out of bed and landed on his face.

We do quickly flash back to the mansion to see that Jordan has screwed some random pieces of his wood in a crib-like fashion on his bed to David proof it for him.  Nice work, ABC intern on the quick gathering of a drill and chunks of wood.

Onto the football field.  Becca is here.  The guys are suited up-ish in practice gear.  Two ladies from the LFL show up to get these guys in shape, well all except Clay since he plays professionally.  They break into two teams and play some football-ish behavior in front of Becca and 20 or so fans.  Becca is wandering around on the field between plays which we are almost certain is frowned upon in real football.

The blue team finally ties it up, but on the last touchdown Clay hurts his wrist.  This is a problem because this is his livelihood.  I’m sure his coach is watching right now (obviously) and is quite upset with his antics.  He is taken away in the ambulance.

In the evening Garrett shows Becca some tackling techniques.  She gets bored on the second one and just starts kissing him.  Blake is struggling with going from first one-on-one to group date.  It’s not easy, y’all.  Becca cheers him up by making out with him.

Clay shows up with a sling.  He says it’s not the worst news, but not the best.  He says he has to see an orthopedic surgeon tomorrow.  Becca tells him all about how cool it was to see him in his element.  She was impressed that he wasn’t a super rub it in their face and showoff kinda guy.

Clay gets the rose because he ‘makes her feel like such a princess’ and also because maybe he just ruined his professional football career.

Rose Ceremony

Becca steps out of her Uber in a pretty red dress for the cocktail party and rose ceremony.  She informs the guys that she spoke with David on the phone yesterday and he is doing better, but not able to come back yet.

Connor grabs her first.  He takes her outside to a baseball diamond.  She shows off with a nice hit and runs the bases in her slinky high heels.

Meanwhile, Clay is telling the guys his battle.  He was told his wrist needs an operation now.  He can’t really choose not to do it since football pays the bills.  If he leaves though then he doesn’t get Becca.  ?  I feel like if Becca likes him a whole big lot, she can probably just tell the producers that he should be allowed to come back.  Sometimes people are allowed to leave for a family member funeral then come back.  Can’t she just say that should be allowed?

I guess it’s not logical.  He tells her he has to leave to get the surgery done and hand therapy, etc.  I still don’t understand this.  She kisses him goodbye and he gives back his rose.  Becca cries.  I’m confused.

We don’t get to see the rose ceremony tonight.  Dang it ABC, get it together!



Bachelorette Becca: Episode 2

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Bachelorette Recaps / Uncategorized

Papa Chris gathers the dudes to lecture them about Becca’s intentions.  She’s serious.  Use your time wisely, men.

Group Date- Clay, Nick, Chris R, David, Jean-Blanc, Jordan, Lincoln

“I’m ready for my big day”

The boys get to try on tuxedos and shoes while drinking champagne.  She made a big show of pretending to cover her eyes, but not really.  Jordan shows the others how to walk four steps professionally.

Evidently the guys are going to do an obstacle course.  Rachel and Bryan (mama’s boy) are here to help today.  So, apparently they are still together.

They need helmets and goggles for this activity.  There’s a ball and chain drag, cold feet ice water barrel, some sort of climbing a slippery slope, climbing over your exes (big wooden X’s with flower bouquets, and find a ring in a wedding cake with no hands and then crawl on knees down the aisle.

There was a lot of cheating going on, but somehow Lincoln “won”.  There was some speculation about getting into the cold water tub after someone else and getting out before them.  They all had the same timers, supposedly.

“Kissing Becca is like flying to the moon on the wings of Pegasus while unicorns dance on a pot of gold” – Lincoln.

He reminds me of someone…

Image result for parker on friends gif

Image result for parker on friends gif

Becca gives Lincoln a picture of her and Lincoln at the altar.  Unfortunately Lincoln kisses it and talks to it throughout the evening.  The other guys are not impressed.

Connor had a tantrum an threw the picture, breaking the glass and landing it into the pool.  He’s a fitness coach, so he probably didn’t know his own strength.  Lincoln tattled to Becca so she lectured Connor about his maturity.  He needs to pull it together.  Later at the house Lincoln cries to other guys about Connor ruining his night.  Just then a friend texted me, “I think I’m going to have to let Connor and Lincoln go.”  Yes.

The group date rose goes to Jean-Blanc.  They seemed to have a good conversation.  He may be a genuine grown up; it’s too soon to tell.

One-on-One- Blake

Blake is excited because he finally gets to ride in a limo, since he rode on an oxen the first night.  They get jumpsuits, visors, boots and sledgehammers.  Blake is excited about his ‘helmet and onesie’.  I like this guy.  He seemed to be able to laugh at the fact that they are not allowed to make their own date or romance and must focus on Arie.  They have to smash his race car and tvs showing the proposal.

Surprise, Lil Jon is here to yell into the microphone.  They smashed fish tanks and a large warning came up on the screen (plastic fish. no animals were harmed).  More concerning though, they smashed so much champagne.  Much champagne was harmed.  They smashed it all so an intern ran out to get a bottle for them to drink.

At dinner they discuss their intense arm pain and their prior relationships.  I think they have a good connection and he is honest and funny.

“Everything seems natural and easy with you.” – Blake

I think top three for this kiddo.  They do some kissing at the table, up against a wall, and all around.  He gets the rose of course.

Group Date- Garrett, Rickey, John, Ryan, Alex, Chris, Trent, Leo, Wills, Colton

“Love comes at you hard and fast.”

The boys load up on a school bus.  They meet Becca, who is dressed in silver shorts, outside on a lawn and head inside.  As they run into the gym kids hurl dodgeballs at them.  Then they run them back and forth through the gym while calling them names and mocking their speed.  I like it.  Leo tells the camera “They aren’t human.”  They get to use the launcher to launch dodgeballs at 50 and 100 mph to get them in shape.

Now they divide into neon teams for a dodgeball tournament on trampolines.  Neon pink versus neon green.  Poor Leo couldn’t keep his hair up.  It was a hard faught battle, but the green frogs won in the end.

Chris says it’s time for the after party.  Becca chats it up with all the guys.  I missed some of it, but I did see her kiss Wills (Mr. Harry Potter tattoo).  He described it as sultry and sweet.

Colton (former Pro football player- charity founder guy) tells the other guys he has to have a conversation with Becca.  He dated Tia from last season.  He called it a weekend together and it just didn’t turn from a spark to a flame.  Becca responds by saying it makes her feel sick.  She needs some time.

The group date rose goes to Wills.  It was probably that sultry and sweet kiss.

Cocktail Party

She has a fantastic royal blue sequin dress with a deep V neck and a high slit.  I approve, but like when can I wear it?  Grocery shopping? Pharmacy pick-up? Physical Therapy tomorrow maybe?

Clay takes her outside to teach her a celebration dance.  It ends with kissing and it is pretty cute.

Connor gets a picture of himself in his tuxedo and covered in cake.  He says he is getting rid of that guy so she can throw it off the balcony.  She is impressed with his owning up to a stupid mistake and moving on.  Well played, Connor.

Jordan evidently gets bored with other guys talking about kayaking so he goes upstairs and strips up his clothes because he wants Becca to ‘get to know his personality’.  I do not follow this line of thinking.  Poor David got interrupted by the half naked guy, who mentions that he is spontaneous and likes to live life on the edge, but his hair will always be well kept.

David confronts Jordan to ask if he thinks that was disrespectful maybe.  Jordan does not see the disrespect.  David says he hopes it she says the way he was ingenuine.  Jordan interrupts him to say it’s called ‘in-jew-in-ity’.

Image result for agree to disagree gif

Rose Ceremony

Becca is conflicted about Colton since he was Tia.  She doesn’t know, but she tells Chris Harrison she is ready.  Going into this Wills, Jean-Blanc, and Blake have roses already.

Roses go to:

  • Chris R.
  • Jason
  • John
  • Clay
  • Mike
  • Connor
  • Leo
  • David
  • Garrett
  • Nick
  • Ryan
  • Christon
  • Jordan
  • Lincoln
  • Colton




The Bachelorette Becca: Episode 1

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Bachelorette Recaps / Uncategorized

Not to worry, y’all.  I’m here to recap the bachelorette this season again.

We have to start out with the reminder of who this Becca chick is.  Remember? She went on the Bachelor with Arie and got picked at the end.  It was her happily ever after… until Arie realized that he just couldn’t live with someone who wasn’t a blonde so he ended it to run off and get Lauren.  The heartbroken Becca didn’t know which way to turn so Chris H. told her she could just pick from 28 guys and do the damn thing herself.

Now you’re caught up.  She speeds up in a red convertible to the mansion (which is a family’s house year-round except when the Bach is filming and they rent it out for a pretty penny).  She has to have mimosas with Jojo, Kaitlin, and Rachel (who got engaged at the end of her season and then they broke up, but now she is engaged to someone else so I guess she is allowed to be on the show?)  But then they talk about how all three of them gave the first impression rose to the guy they are with and they all kissed them on the first night.  So maybe Rachel is still with him.  I don’t know, but I’m for sure not gonna research it.

Image result for aint nobody got time for that

They burn sage everywhere to cleanse the mansion and also make it smell like Thanksgiving Turkey.

Get the limos rollin, y’all.  I’m ready.  P.S.- fun fact.  I don’t love night one.  There are too many of ’em and I can’t keep track and ABC refuses to make them wear Price is Right name tags, which would make me much happier and blogging so much easier.

We got football players, models, grocery store managers, dog daddies, and more.

Becca is wearing a gorgeous beaded white gown and waiting in the driveway.  Prepare for hearing let’s do the damn thing ten million times.

Colton- Former Pro Football Player

They pop party poppers of confetti.  Becca thinks he’s handsome.

BIO Blip: Post-football, Colton has dedicated himself to helping children fighting Cystic Fibrosis.

Grant- Electrician

He has respect for what she’s gone through.

BIO Blip:  If the Bachelorette can handle a healthy dose of sarcasm, there will definitely be sparks with Grant!

Clay- Pro Football Player

He’s caught a lot of passes in his day, but he if were to land her, it would be the biggest catch in his life.  He’s gonna catch her later.  Later on he does and they make clay figures together so she can remember his name.

BIO Blip: He is a true gentleman who doesn’t even curse!

Jean Blanc- Colognoisseur

He teaches her how to say let’s do the damn thing in French.  She mentions that he smelled so good.

BIO Blip: Jean Blanc was born in Haiti and immigrated with his family to Boston when he was only two years old.

Connor- Fitness Coach

He gets down on one knee and opens a box asking if she’s ready to do the damn thing.

BIO Blip: Connor is a risk-taker, whose health and fitness is his #1 priority.

Joe- Grocery Store Owner

He forgot everything he was going to tell her.

BIO Blip: Formerly one of the youngest traders on the Chicago stock exchange, Joe turned a successful career in big finance into a successful career in small business.

John- Software Engineer

His grandma always told him that love can happen overnight.

BIO Blip: When he’s not working, you can find him wine tasting, playing guitar or making his world-famous banana bread.

Leo- Stuntman

He lets his hair down metaphorically and physically.  Becca says he has better hair than he does.

BIO Blip: Leo’s been growing his hair for 10 years and prefers the “messy bun” look.

Jordan- Male model

He’s distracted by her looks.  He says later he wants to make sure Becca heard the tapping of his shoes, like a gentleman’s heart.  Inside he tells the other guys he spent six hours hand selecting his wardrobe for the event.  Lord help us all.  He’s gonna be fatiguing.

BIO Blip: When he’s not posing for magazines shoots giving his best “pensive gentleman” look, Jordan enjoys kayaking and running. With a personal best mile time of 4.24 Jordan’s excited to sprint to the finish line with the Bachelorette.

Rickey- IT Consultant

He tells her she’s got all the adjectives going for her; gorgeous, pretty, amazing, etc.

BIO Blip: After college at JMU and a stint on Wall Street, Rickey created a successful online personal training company.

Alex- Construction Manager

He tells her she looks gorgeous.  She loves his tie.

BIO Blip: A self-proclaimed country music lover, Alex enjoys spending time with his dog, Donzi, and taking trips to the beach with his boat.

Nick- Attorney

He shows up wearing a race car driver suit and then asks what kind of underwear you wear with that.  He takes off the suit and says he’s a lawyer so he’s usually good at opening statements, but that’s all had for tonight.  Pretty hair guy comments that reminding her of her ex is maybe not the best move.

BIO Blip: When he’s not winning trials, you can catch him in his signature tracksuits being the life of the party.

Mike- Sports Analyst

He gets out of the limo with a cardboard cutout of Arie.  He says it’s important that he make an appearance tonight to see just how happy and vibrant she is now.

BIO Blip: Mike loves festivals, horse races and state fairs.  He also loves his bulldog, Riggins.

Garrett- Medical Sales Rep

He shows up in a minivan saying he hopes to be a great dad one day.  He shows her that it has a carseat, soccer balls, and a diaper bag.  She laughs at his antics and admits to the camera that it was pretty good.

Later he helps her work on her fly fishing casts by the pool.  Guys inside wonder if she’s catching feelings.

BIO Blip: When he’s not on an outdoor adventure, he’s perfecting his Chris Farley impression. He’s excited to find love with the Bachelorette…down by the river!

Blake- Sales Rep

Blake shows up on an ox and says already his feelings are as strong as an ox.  You might remember that he was on the live- after the final rose introduction show.  He rode a horse and reminded her to get back on the horse.  He’s got access to a lot of livestock evidently.  Later in the night they chat about how much they were able to love the wrong people, so how much must they be able to love the right people.  Becca says they connect and get each other easily.

BIO Blip: Despite excelling at football and basketball, Blake has a secret talent… he’s a great swing dancer!

Lincoln- Account Sales Executive

He also met her on the After the Final Rose show.  He brings chocolate cake to share with her.  Not a bad move.  He gives her a bracelet later during the night.

BIO Blip:  Lincoln would love to have a big family to make his mom proud. Fun fact, Lincoln was named after Abraham Lincoln.

Chase- Advertising VP

He says the Chase is what makes the ending that much better.  She met him on the After the Final Rose.  Uh-oh.  Someone knows his ex-girlfriend and she said he’s not here for the right reasons.  Oooooh. Drama

BIO Blip: A college baseball player, Chase competed in the College World Series twice as third baseman for the University of South Carolina.

Darius- Pharmaceutical Sales Rep

He doesn’t feel nervous; he feels great.

BIO Blip: Darius is an energetic, fun-loving Milwaukeean who loves to dance.

Ryan- Banjoist

She asks about the Banjo.  He says maybe later.

BIO Blip: This banjo-playing Cape Cod native is extremely close to his family. They all play together in a bluegrass band.

Christon- Former Harlem Globetrotter

He’s dying to know more about her and hopes this is the first of many conversations.  Later he takes her to the driveway and has her stand and hold the ball over her head.  Then he jumps over her, grabs the ball, and dunks it.  No Beccas were hurt during the filming of this move.

BIO Blip: Bored with his corporate job in Detroit, Christon sent an e-mail to the Harlem Globetrotters to see if they were looking for new talent. Before he knew it, he was flying around the world entertaining thousands with his acrobatic dunks.

Wills- Graphic Designer

He admits he’s a bit of a closet nerd.  Later he shows her a Harry Potter tattoo that she goes gaga over.

BIO Blip: He loves his job as an Editorial Designer, but not as much as he loves Harry Potter.

Jason- Sr. Corporate Banker

He teaches her a secret handshake.

BIO Blip: When Jason’s not rooting for his hometown Buffalo Bills, he’s belting out tunes from his favorite Disney movies

Kamil- Social Media Participant

He has her walk out into the driveway to meet him halfway, because that is importan in relationships.  Then he takes a step back and suggests she go 60% and she takes a step back.  I knew he was done right there.

BIO Blip: Kamil was born in Poland and moved to the United States with his parents when he was five years old. He learned English by watching cartoons.

Jake- Marketing Consultant

She says he looks familiar and then remembers him from Minneapolis.  She calls him an acquaintance and says she has met him on many occasions.  Later in the night she grabs him to chat about how she thought there were never any sparks when meeting in the past.  He reiterates that he only remembers meeting her once.  She says since they did meet and there was nothing done on either end she doesn’t want him to stay.  He’s worried she remembers a different Jake.  He has had a very transformative year.  He’s a new Jake.  She doesn’t want to waste his time.  He keeps talking when she stands up which is his cue.  Peace out, Jake.

BIO Blip: This adventure-seeking Minneapolis native grew up riding dirt bikes in rural areas, racing motocross since the age of 13.

Trent- Realtor

He shows up in a hearse.  He says when he heard Becca was the bachelorette he literally died.

BIO Blip: This animal lover from Carrol, IA moved to Florida to pursue a career as a realtor and a model.

Christian- Banker

He grabs her hand and has her spin to get the full view.  Hmmmm.

BIO Blip: A natural athlete, he played semi-professional soccer in the States until an injury forced him to retire.

David- Venture Capitalist/Chicken

He gets out dressed as a chicken and squawks Be-caa, Becc-aa.  He says he isn’t here to ruffle feathers and hopefully they will have an egg-celent time.  Later they have a super chill chat together after doing the chicken dance.  He says he’s a lucky bird and she’s a cool chick.

BIO Blip: He loves guacamole, but hates avocado. Hopefully, that’s not a deal breaker for the Bachelorette!

Chris- Sales Trainer

He says he watched her hometown date and knows that the only way to her heart is to win over her uncle Gary.  He has an entire choir get out of the limo to sing a song about a rose.

BIO Blip:  He comes from a family of successful entrepreneurs that retired in their 40s, and he’s determined to do the same!


Becca grabs the first impression rose and gives it to Garrett, the mini-van guy who went fishing in the pool.  I guess he was casting vibes out too.  Big kiss for Garrett.

Rose Ceremony

She reminds the guys if they don’t get a rose it’s not because they aren’t great, it’s just because she is following her heart and her gut.

Roses are awarded to:

  • Lincoln
  • Blake
  • Rickey
  • Jean-Blanc
  • Christon
  • Clay
  • Wills
  • Connor
  • Jason
  • John
  • Ryan
  • Alex
  • Nick
  • Trent
  • Colton
  • David
  • Jordan
  • Leo
  • Mike
  • Chris R.

Kamil is really, really embarrassed.  He’s not taking it well that he lost to a chicken.  Chase is sure this is because his ex from two years ago texted another guy to questions his reasons for being there.  Maybe she just didn’t feel it.  Most of the other rejects take it like grown ups.

The preview for the season looks great.  I saw: yelling, crying, kissing, blood, an ambulance, pretty dresses, and name calling!  Ooooh.  I can’t wait.

bach becca new








City Girl Walks a Country Mile

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Funny Farm Stuff / Hold My Gatorade and Watch This / Uncategorized

Today was a special day for me.  I was down at a friend’s farm this morning and a mama piggy was giving birth to piglets.  She had given birth to 6 (2 were stillborn) and was working on pushing the seventh baby out.  She was struggling for quite a while and I was starting to get nervous.  For a first time piggy mama, they can get startled easily when the babies are out and grunting and it can scare her.  My farmer friend told me that she thought the next piglet was probably breach.  I was worried.


I grew up in a neighborhood and have watched exactly zero animals give birth before so I’m going to say that I easily qualify as a city girl.  I’ve always liked the Aerosmith song Girls of Summer which has the line:

My favorite thing that drives me wild is when a city girl walks a country mile.

Hence the title for this blog.

So, last weekend I was chatting it up with this particular mommy pig and asking her when she was going to have her babies.  She let me in on a little secret that she was mighty uncomfortable and ready to have her piglets.  Evidently throughout the week she was eating spicy food and going on walks.

mama pig

Take a look at these little hungry beauties and their tiny tails.


Look at this little babe getting some warmth, cause it’s cold outside, y’all.


I did take a little video of the breach piggy birth that was holding up the train of the rest of the piggies.  Once she got this one out, the next few came pretty quickly.  I got to help with the delivery and clear the snout area to make sure the piglet could breathe, then help to move it over to the lamp.

Something that is really interesting is that the amniotic fluids and afterbirth don’t have a strong scent, in order to prevent predators from being alerted.  That’s pretty cool when you stop to think about it, that God had a plan to protect piggy babies and mamas when vulnerable.

For this city girl, it was a really cool country milestone.  I’m so thankful I got to see this moment.

If you aren’t squeamish about birth stuff, watch the video below!












Remember the House on the Hill

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Deep Thoughts About POTS / Funny Farm Stuff / Uncategorized

A little thought for today.

I live up on a hill (or up on a mountain as Carter describes it).  Down at the base of the hill is a river.  There are some fancy big houses right on the river, of course.  But up just a bit is a main road and most houses across the road have a river view as well.

Well, there is a very modest little 1500 square foot, two bedroom, one bathroom house just across the road.  It was built in 1931.  Nothing about the house can be described as fancy.  But, you know, the house has been there a long time and it has seen some things.  Long ago, that house had a front row seat to a booming teeny tiny town known as pleasant view village.  In the late 1800’s the tiny village was established to include a mercantile, livery, and blacksmith shop.  The tiny town businesses were closed down due to the depression right around when the modest house across the road was built.

This is what the modest little farmhouse up on the hill looks like:

house on the hill

Last year the old property down by the river was finally bought and the old building remnants were demolished, much to my disappointment.

Pictured here is the blacksmith shop before it was torn down completely last year.

Historic Pleasant View village being demolished

This is what was left of the old mercantile.

Historic Pleasant View village being demolished

My heart was slightly broken that I could never get my hands on anything from this piece of history.  The newspaper said the owners were going to be selling pieces and parts to neighbors and members of the community.  I’ve never seen a hint of any of that ever coming to fruition.

Well, the new people tore down the old buildings and began building their house, shop/barn, and horse arena.  The first thing to be built was the shop.  Not their house.  Not the place they would live, but a shop, only a shop.  It was built in the exact place on the property to guarantee that the little house on the hill would lose their view of the river completely.  I could understand if it was their house and this was the perfect placement for sunshine, wind, etc. so they decided to build their house here.  No, their house can’t even be seen because it is much farther down.  But on their whole property that they bought, out of all the places they could put the shop, they put it exactly smack dab in the middle of the river view of the house on the hill.

house on the hill- shop below

I’m just asking that we take the time to think of others.  Others who went before us and paved the way.  No, don’t compromise everything you belief and sacrifice yourself in a big way; no I’m not asking that we do that.  Maybe just that we as human beings have the common decency to just think for one second about how what we do might affect another human.

Just a little reminder maybe to think of the house on the hill before we act.




Dancing with the Stars, Athletes: Episode 3

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Dancing with the Stars Recaps / Uncategorized

By the end of this episode we will be down to THREE.  Three will go on next week to dance for the mirror ball.  Guest judge this week is David Ross, lovingly known as grandpa around the ballroom.  He was runner up a couple seasons ago with Lindsay.

Nastia Luken, Meryl Davis and Von Miller are in the ballroom dancing this week and mentoring competitors.  They can all still dance.

We’re going to learn about the MVP in each of our competitor’s lives this week.

Mirai Nagasu & Alan- Quickstep

Her mom is her MVP.  She’s quickstepping around the floor in a flowing gold gown.  I didn’t love, love the choreography for a quickstep, but that’s more on Alan than Mirai.  Len says she lost her posture a bit during the dance.  Bruno says a touch of her topline got lost.  Carrie Ann speaks Japanese to her mom telling her she did great, but didn’t have the awareness needed in front of a group of dancers. Erin asked her about the dance and she said she was first and wanted to give the other competitors somewhere to go.  Wow.

  • Carrie Ann- 9
  • David- 9
  • Len- 8
  • Bruno- 9

Jennie Finch & Keo- Viennese Waltz

Jennie’s MVP is her husband.  She’s dancing to Tim McGraw and Faith Hill, which is fitting for her MVP, who is the love of her life.

She dances in a pink gown while pink rose petals fall from the sky.  It’s magical, but she looks a bit awkward.  I don’t sense 10’s in her future.  The dance ends with her running across the floor to her husband to get roses and kisses.  Bruno says there is a difference between throwing an arm and growing an arm.  Carrie Ann says she is seeing more fluidity and that she would thrive in a longer environment.  David says he’s super proud of her.

  • Carrie Ann- 7
  • David- 8
  • Len- 7
  • Bruno- 7

Chris Mazdzer & Witney- Foxtrot

His MVP is his mommy.  She’s a superfan of the show.  She gets to hang behind the scenes.  Tom tells her that since meeting her son, he now only luges to work.  Oh Tom.  We love you Tom.  Say what you want about Witney, but the girl can choreograph a fun dance!  There’s dancing on a piano, jumping off, cute tricks with top hats, and it ends with his mom hugging him on the floor at the end.  Chris says first off, ‘how do I top that next Mother’s day?’  I like this guy.  Carrie Ann calls it a show stopper, but when he caught Witney off the piano he then lifted her and technically no lifts allowed in Foxtrot.  BOO Carrie Ann.  David says coming from a baseball player– great catch!

  • Carrie Ann- 8
  • David- 9
  • Len- 7
  • Bruno- 9

Someone get Len a drink.

Tonya Harding & Sasha- Rhumba

Oh man.  Let me just say, my mom’s least favorite dance is Rhumba and her least favorite competitor is Tonya.  This is gonna be rough, folks.

Her MVP is her daddy.  She lost him 9 years ago but she knows he’ll be watching.  Sasha does a good job making the dance more flowy than sensual.  They all had nice comments for her.

  • Carrie Ann- 8
  • David- 9
  • Len- 8
  • Bruno- 8

Adam Rippon & Jenna- Contemporary

His MVP is his mom.  Single mom of six kiddos; she sacrificed a lot to get Adam to the rink.  She’s always been there for him.

This dance starts inside a bird cage.  There’s a lot of laying on the ground and flopping around wearing feathers.  They finally get out and do a bunch of contemporary movements.  I’m guessing Len will think it was weird.  Len says it was a little bit start and stop on occasions and ‘spiky’.  There we go Len.  He also says it was the best dance he’s seen tonight.

  • Carrie Ann- 10
  • David- 10
  • Len- 9
  • Bruno- 10

Josh Norman & Sharna- Contemporary

Josh has four brothers and they are collectively his MVP’s.  He grew up in a life of competition.  They are dancing a contemporary to Stand by Me.  The first thing I notice is that they aren’t wearing feathers and dancing in a birdcage.  Len is smiling.  Sharna choreographs some fantastic lifts to showcase Josh’s strength and form.  Len says the lifts were seamless.  Bruno says he took great care of Sharna and the lifts were so impressive.  Carrie Ann says it was surefootedness.  She has never seen that lift done so well before.  David says he knows he hard it is to do those lifts.

  • Carrie Ann- 9
  • David- 9
  • Len- 9
  • Bruno- 9

SOOO annoying when there is not one critique given, but yet not 10’s.

Ballroom Battles

Tanya & Sasha vs. Jennie & Keo

It’s battle time.  Two couples dancing at once to the same song.  The judges will vote for one couple at the end.  Nastia is here to mentor both couples.   Jennie and Keo are in light blue and Tanya and Sasha are in coral.  They were pretty evenly matched really.  If I had to judge I think I would give the edge to Jennie and Keo.  Bruno points out a few little timing issues.

  • Carrie Ann- Tanya & Sasha
  • David- Jennie & Keo
  • Len- Tanya & Sasha
  • Bruno- Tanya & Sasha

America’s Vote: 60% Jennie & Keo.

Adam & Jenna vs. Mirai & Alan

Their mentor is Meryl Davis.  Mirrorball champion and Olympic medalist.  Honestly this is a tricky one.  They dance to Johnny B Goode.  Hot pink polka dots versus blue polka dots.  Bruno says it comes down to personal preference.  It was very close.

  • Carrie Ann- Adam & Jenna
  • David- Mirai & Alan
  • Len- Mirai & Alan
  • Bruno- Adam & Jenna

America’s Vote: Adam & Jenna 64%

Josh & Sharna vs. Chris & Witney

Von Miller is the mentor for these two.  The trash talk between these two is hilarious.  Chris loses his shirt, but so does Josh.  You know I’m always a Sharna voter, but for what it’s worth, Witney is a fun choreographer too.  I think Josh and Sharna had the slight edge maybe, but it’s really gonna be close.  David says he’s just glad he doesn’t have to take off his shirt to compete with these two.  Len is not in love with the shirts off.  Well, we know this Len.  Bruno takes his shirt off too, which is very upsetting for Len.  Poor Len.

  • Carrie Ann- Chris & Witney
  • David- Chris & Witney
  • Len- Josh & Sharna
  • Bruno- Josh & Sharna

America’s Vote: Chris & Witney 55%

Uh oh, David wrote down Josh and Sharna but held up Chris and Witney.  Josh and Sharna get the two points.  David says he knew he would mess up before this was over.

Elimination Time

The first couple who IS dancing in the finale is: Adam & Jenna (duh).  Tanya & Sasha… also dancing in the finale. (WHAT?)  The third couple dancing in the finale is: Josh & Sharna.

Chris & Witney

Jennie & Keo

Mirai & Alan


Next week: season finale.  Be there or just read my blog about it afterwards.


New Trees, Bitch Chicken & the Great Egg Mystery

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Funny Farm Stuff / Uncategorized

I have a few little updates to share with y’all.  Let’s talk about what’s new on our little farm.  It was orchard pickup last week.  We have found a great family-run business who sell gorgeous bushes and trees that all have something edible, whether it is a berry, a flower, or root.  We love to order from them and we went last week to pickup our order.

This meant over the weekend Carter and Tom did a bunch of planting.  I drove the tree-mobile around the property to deliver trees to the proper locations.

tree mobile

Here is the rundown of new goodies we added to our property:

  • Honeyberry – which produces inch and a half blueberries essentially.

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  • Corylus Felix & Corylus Jefferson – which are two hazelnut plant varieties
  • Russian Quince – which produces first a pale pink blossom and then an ancient fruit which is common in Roman cooking and is grown across Turkey and Southeast Asia.  It’s health benefits include preventing cancer, aiding in weight loss, improving digestion health, reducing cholesterol and over all boosting the immune system.

Image result for quince health benefits

  • Cornelian Cherry

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  • Seaberry- it is a nutritional powerhouse rich in vitamins A,C,E, and K.  The juice is used in cosmetic preparations for aging reversal and the juice and oils are also used to treat burns and eczema.

Image result for seaberry

  • Gooseberry- most commonly known when made into gooseberry pie.

Image result for gooseberry

  • Canadice Grape

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  • Illinois Everbearing Mulberry

Image result for illinois everbearing mulberry

I think that covers all of our new orchard arrivals this year.  I’m very excited for the pretty blossoms and delicious fruit coming our way over time.

Bitch Chicken

I got a new chicken a few weeks ago.  Her name is officially Ginger Rogers, to go along with Betty Grable, Rita Hayworth, Zsa Zsa Gabor, and Marilyn Monroe.  Unfortunately sh has mostly been referred to as bitch chicken though.  We got her. I gave her orientation: this is where you eat, this is where you sleep, this is where you put your eggs, etc.  When I left the house a few hours later she was up on the hillside, not in her chicken barn or run.  I texted Tom asking if he could run get her and put her back in the barn/run.  I got a text about half an hour later full of expletives and that she was coyote food.  Evidently he chased her across our property, across the road and all over another property, then back down to our neighbors property and through their chickens, then back to our house where he still could not catch her.

The next day I clipped her wing and put her back in.  She was instantly back outside.  The next day I clipped her other wing too and put her back in.  She was out again hours later.  We saw one spot where she was hopping out so we covered that area with chicken wire.  Hours later she was out again.  Finally, we got a 16 foot by 14 foot netting that we covered the entire top of the chicken run with.  It took her two days, but she was out again.  Each night she goes back into the barn to roost on the top bar but then come morning she is out again.  As I’m writing this, she’s currently out.

Hence, bitch chicken.  But look how pretty she is.

bitch chicken

The Great Egg Mystery

One of the things I was excited about with bitch chicken was that she had recently been with a rooster, therefore her eggs would be fertile for 3 to 4 weeks.  She is a very pretty Araucana and the lady I bought her from said she lays baby blue eggs.   I was so excited to see such pretty eggs.  The other chickens have no access to the goat house, which is where I happened to find 3 eggs.  I checked  them in water and they were all fresh so they must have been bitch chicken’s.  Were they baby blue? No, light tan.  It’s so rare for araucanas to lay any color other than green/blue, but bitch chicken is one of a kind.  Just the other day I found another egg in the goat house nest, still light tan and still fresh.  The other chickens don’t get out.  So… I guess they are bitch chickens, which means they should be fertile.  I put two in my incubator just in case, but I’m guessing there never was a rooster at all.  There never were baby blue eggs.  I’ve been tricked.

In other news, I’ve been wanting a certain special variety of chicken for a while and I found a lady who sells hatching eggs.  We got an incubator and they are currently on day 5.  Look at the growth.  I’m so excited and loving learning about chicks growth and then hopefully hatching.  I shall keep y’all informed.

chick growth chart

chick in egg

So that’s what is going on around our little farm lately.  I hope y’all are happy and healthy.

Dancing with the Stars: Athletes, Episode 2

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Dancing with the Stars Recaps / Uncategorized

Keep in mind this is a FOUR WEEK season.  The eliminations are crazy and the competition is tight! Tonight each athlete will perform an individual dance as well as being a part of a team dance.  Eliminations are based on judges scores combined with viewer votes.  Week two: here we go!

Oh, there’s a guest judge this week.  Mr. Rashad Jennings himself! I love Rashad.  Everyone loves Rashad.

Josh Norman & Sharna- Paso Doble

They are training for this Paso on Josh’s family ranch/farm somewhere in the US.  It looks pretty and green and there are plenty of horses.  Here’s a secret– paso is not my favorite dance.  It’s a lot of marching around and someone dying at the end.  Don’t tell anyone.  Sharna rocked the pirate-esque-dress for sure though!  Carrie Ann was super Carrie Ann about her score.

  • Carrie Ann- 7 (bitch. who said that?)
  • Rashad- 7
  • Len- 8
  • Bruno- 8

Jennie Finch & Keo- Cha Cha

Jennie has an issue with the song.  She calls the producer to say that the song does not represent who she is and what she believes.  The producers change the song (we don’t know what the offensive song was) and Keo re-choreographs the entire song on Thursday.  I saw some cha cha.  Len thought it was competent, but lost some rhythm and timing on occasion.  Bruno is upset with her hands and her timing.  Carrie is proud of her for choosing what felt right to her.  Keo is visibly frustrated with having to change the dance Thursday.  Jennie said she had fun and that is all that matters.

  • Carrie- 7 (really Carrie? She was equal to Josh and Sharna?)
  • Rashad- 7
  • Len- 6
  • Rashad- 6

Kareem Abdul-Jabbar & Lindsay- Salsa

We learn his dad was a jazz musician in Harlem.  Lindsay starts the dance on another girl’s shoulders, which helped with the height quite a bit.  He really does a pretty good job moving to the music.  Bruno says it was Harlem at his best.  Carrie Ann loved the tribute to her father.  Rashad said his dad was looking down on him proud.  Len says he brought the party to the ballroom.

  • Carrie Ann- 7
  • Rashad- 7
  • Len- 6
  • Bruno- 6

Chris Mazdzer & Witney- Viennese Waltz

Chris mentions his ADHD diagnosis in practice with Witney.  Witney works hard with him and they really nail the dance.  He does great with his shoulders, lines, footwork.  Rashad called it organized chaos.  Len didn’t like the spin/lift move.  Len was impressed with the sway in hold and heel leads.  Bruno called him a heartthrob.  Then blushed and said it wasn’t a declaration, just about the dance. Witney says under her breath ‘riiiiight’.  This is a live show, folks.

  • Carrie Ann- 9
  • Rashad- 8
  • Len- 8
  • Bruno- 8

Tonya Harding & Sasha- Quickstep

In rehearsals Sasha tells her that they are dancing to Redneck Woman (which is a favorite song).  The routine opens up with Tonya walking out with an axe and I instantly thought it was a bad idea to arm her.  Was that just me?  All in all, it was a pretty cute quickstep complete with a bear chasing them all over the stage.  Bruno was worried when he saw the axe, bear, and fire.  He said all that was missing was DiCaprio and it would be the Revenant.  Oh Bruno.

  • Carrie Ann- 8
  • Rashad- 9
  • Len- 8
  • Bruno- 8

Mirai Nagasu & Alan- Foxtrot

I don’t fully understand their training.  In order to train, they went to Disneyland and ate cotton candy.  Just your average week of training.  She floats all around the floor gliding.  Her fingers were perfect even, Carrie Ann mentioned — which is to be expected from a figure skater.  I thought the dance was predictably good and a bit boring.  She’s a teeny bit annoying.

  • Carrie Ann- 9
  • Rashad- 10
  • Len- 9
  • Bruno- 9

Arike Ogunbowale & Gleb- Foxtrot

She takes Carrie Ann’s challenge and wears heels.  She looks a tiny bit awkward, but is much improved since last week.  Carrie Ann says she cried.  I don’t understand Carrie Ann.  Len says she nailed the footwork.

  • Carrie Ann- 8 (should Josh Norman wear heels next week?)
  • Rashad- 9
  • Len- 8
  • Bruno- 8

Adam Rippon & Jenna- Quickstep

He’s busy, you guys.  He flies all across the country doing shows for Stars on Ice.  He sleeps maybe three hours a night.  He does rehearsal whenever and wherever it fits in.  Carrie Ann says he had a few issues with turns.  Rashad wants to know where he got his suit.  Adam says he stole it from Rashad’s trailer.

  • Carrie Ann- 9
  • Rashad- 9
  • Len- 9
  • Bruno- 10

Team Dances

It’s 1970’s football versus 1950’s tennis.  Team tennis dances to a doo-wop version of Hit Me Baby One More Time.  It’s mostly adorable.  Len says it was tight and had great tennis references.  Bruno says it was witty, imaginative, and creative.  Carrie Ann annoying points out that Josh was off for a tiny part at the beginning.  Thanks Carrie.


  • Carrie Ann- 8
  • Rashad- 9
  • Len- 8
  • Bruno- 8

Team football is frustrated a bit because not one of them was alive in the 70’s.  They have super duper silver shiny football uniforms though.  Adam does a shimmy.  Here’s a shock: it was better than the shimmy Kareem did in his dance.  There is disco.  There are afro wigs.  There is glitter– just like football in the 70’s.  Carrie Ann shrieks and dances off her chair, because why wouldn’t she?

  • Carrie Ann- 9
  • Rashad- 10
  • Len- 9
  • Bruno- 9

Double Elimination

Couples in jeopardy: Kareem & Lindsay, Chris & Witney, Arike & Gleb.  Everyone else is safe.

The couple who is safe is: Chris & Witney.  Which means Arike & Kareem are going home.

Just like that we we’re down to six athletes!


Dancing with the Stars: Athletes, Episode 1

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Dancing with the Stars Recaps / Uncategorized

Black and gold sequins, rhinestones and glitter are the theme of this opening number.  We meet the referees for the season: Len, Carrie Ann, and Bruno in short-short-I-cant-believe-how-short-they-are-black-glitter-shorts.

Val is in the audience, which is wrong, wrong, WRONG.

DISCLAIMER:  I’m all about honesty.  Gay figure skater who performs to music for a living is not exactly comparable to baseball or football player.  Let’s not be confused and think that they are on the same ‘playing field’.  Some athletes in this competition have a huge advantage.  Just as long as we all understand that fact as we go through this season.

Chris Mazdzer & Witney- Salsa

Mr. Luge tries out an upright sport.  Let me just say, salsa is a really tricky dance for week one.  He actually did ok.  It could have been worse- we’ll go with that.  He seems energetic and excited to do more dances though, so hopefully he’ll be staying around! Len has only ever seen him before ‘laying down on a tray’.  That’s so close, Len.

  • Carrie Ann- 7
  • Len- 7
  • Bruno- 7

Kareem Abdul Jabbar & Lindsay- Cha Cha

He is 7’1 and she is 5’4.  There is a slight difference.  He says he’s going to show America that he may have old feet, but he still has dancing feet.  He does a lot of standing there and letting Lindsay twirl around him.  Bruno asks immediately how he can criticize a national treasure?  Carrie Ann says he could get a little groovier.  Len says if he was scoring purely on admiration, he’d get a 10, but he does need to loosen up a bit.

  • Carrie Ann- 6
  • Len- 5
  • Bruno- 6

Jennie Finch & Keo- Foxtrot

Keo travels to her Louisiana ranch to meet her.  She dances with a front porch backdrop to the song All American Girl, so it is pretty fitting all around.  Her kiddos get to be sitting on a bench on the front porch.  Carrie Ann senses her competitive nature (was it the gold medal winning that gave that away, Carrie?).  Len says she’s got to calm her grip on Keo down a bit; he’s not a softball.

  • Carrie Ann- 7
  • Len- 7
  • Bruno- 7

Jamie Anderson & Artem- Viennese Waltz

Another tricky first dance.  It’s a snowy scene background with a good deal of fog to hide her feet.  She does look a bit uncomfortable at times, after all this is quite different than professional snowboarding.  Bruno compares her to Elsa, but then she hit a slippery patch.  Her timing and footing was a bit off, but again she mentions how much it is out of her comfort zone.

  • Carrie Ann- 6
  • Len- 7
  • Bruno- 6

Mirai Nagasu & Alan- Salsa

My first thought is that perhaps figure skaters are better at salsa than luge (lugers, lugists?) competitors.  Her timing looks good.  Her movement looks good. Her flexibility looks good.  She looks like a pro dancer– you know since she pretty much is, just on ice.  Bruno says she had a lot of attack, but she has to be careful to not lose the softness of her hips.  Carrie Ann tells her to watch her head bobbing, and also to not be too eager.  Len says he could say there were too many tricks, but then decides he can’t because it was such a good dance.

  • Carrie Ann-  7
  • Len- 8
  • Bruno- 8

Arike Ogunbowale & Gleb- Salsa

Youngest competitor this season and only collegiate athlete ever on the show.  Gleb wants her to wear heels, but I can’t help but notice she is in tennis shoes for the dance.  She looks enthusiastic, although very out of her element.  Carrie Ann says she has her own ease with the dance floor, but she wants her in heels next week.  Len says she needed a bit more hip action.  This girl is taking a red-eye flight after the show to get to Chicago and drive to her school by her 9:30 am class to give a presentation.  I’m so tired just thinking about that.

  • Carrie Ann- 7
  • Len- 6
  • Bruno- 7

Adam Rippon & Jenna- Cha Cha

Shocker- he has showmanship nailed.  His moves are crisp and on beat, again not surprising.  Len has agreed to let the couple of ‘funny vogue-y moments’ go because the dance was so good.  Bruno is impressed with the synchronicity of he and his partner.

  • Carrie Ann- 8
  • Len- 8
  • Bruno- 8

Johnny Damon & Emma- Foxtrot

Emma choreographs a cute little baseball themed dance at foxtrot field to the song Put Me In Coach.  He actually does better than I thought he would do.  I was quite impressed.  Bruno says it was not effortless, but he will get better with time.  Carrie Ann wants him to watch his holds and his frame.  I think he has a cute personality and I hope he stays.

  • Carrie Ann- 6
  • Len- 6
  • Bruno- 6

Tonya Harding & Sasha- Foxtrot

Tonya was banned from skating in 1994, but no one can stop her from dancing!  She wants to perform and she doesn’t want to fail.  After quickly being searched for bats, she put on her dance shoes.  Too soon?  I kid.  I kid.  She is quite graceful and really looks to be enjoying herself on the dance floor.  Carrie Ann loves her lines.  Len says it was a lovely performance, both in hold and out of hold.  Bruno has a little critique about her neck/shoulder position, but otherwise she was quite lyrical.

  • Carrie Ann- 8
  • Len- 8
  • Bruno- 7

Josh Norman & Sharna- Cha Cha

dwts recaps

He mentions in his opening video package that he likes the fiery redhead hottie.  He also says he’s single and Sharna is single.  I haven’t decided if he is good enough for my Sharna just yet.  Moving on to dancing… he does look pretty crisp and seems to move pretty well.  I can definitely see athleticism.  I wonder if Carrie Ann will pick up on his competitiveness.  Len says he is another one of a long list of footballers that can dance.  Bruno is impressed… sex appeal by the truck load and natural musicality.  Carrie Ann says not only is there finesse, but style as well.

  • Carrie Ann- 8
  • Len- 8
  • Bruno- 8

Double Elimination

The results are in:  First couple in jeopardy is Jamie & Artem.  Next couple in jeopardy is Johnny & Emma.  Next couple in jeopardy is Tonya & Sasha.  Everyone else is safe.

The couple staying is: Tonya & Sasha

Eliminated: Johnny & Emma and Jamie & Artem

I don’t like double elimination on night one.  I don’t like a four week season either.  Dear producers, I’m NOT impressed with this plan you came up with.


My New Chicken Barn

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Bobby Pins & Bullets / Funny Farm Stuff / Uncategorized

The week of Valentine’s day Tom and I made a down payment on a fantastic little barn with the understanding that we would pay the second half once the owners helped us disassemble the barn, move it to our house, and reassemble it on our property.  A few weeks ago we completed the project and moved the chickens into their new mansion.  They are quite happy in their new home.

I put together a few pictures of the building process to share.

chicken barn 1

As you can see Hero was supervising from up on the hill.

chicken barn 2

The barn has hundred-year-old barn wood on the outside.

chicken barn 3

The nesting boxes you see in the back of the barn are from Tom’s great grandmother and grandfather’s ranch.  The roosting bars are made from saplings from our property.  Tom brilliantly installed them with hinges so they can be lifted up and hooked to the ceiling for easy cleaning underneath.  The poop hammock was my vision.  I saw a lady on Pinterest who had sewn one out of fabric, but then it needed to be cleaned regularly by shaking it off (which sounds too much like flying chicken poop to me) and brushing it with a broom (which sounded too much like smeared poop).  I came up with the idea of using cheap shower liners so they can be disposable and affordable.  Tom helped me put hooks into the roosting bars and the wall so I could attach it easily.

chicken barn 4

I had to decorate inside a bit to make sure it is fancy enough for my fancy hens.  I added a cute little chandelier and a pretty mirror for the girls.  I had the following message exchange with my mother-in-law.

Me: I did something in my chicken barn that may make you want to slap me.

MIL: Did you hang scarves?

Me: Just a small chandelier.

MIL: It is worse than scarves.

I had read that adding a mirror is good for chickens because it helps to entertain them and keep them from pecking at each other.  I was lucky enough to snap the above picture of miss Betty checking it out.

chicken barn 8

Next to the mirror I hung a little teacup for grit and oyster shells when the girls need them.

chicken barn 5

In this picture you can see the front porch and the gorgeous sliding barn door Tom installed for me.  You can also see a few of the chickens in the background in their chicken run, which is huge compared to their old one.

chicken barn 7

The goat pen also got expanded and they now have access to the front porch, which they are pretty tickled with.

chicken barn 6

To the left of the front door we branded both of our family brands.  -7K (pronounced bar seven k) and V.  Bar seven K is Tom’s family brand which has been used on many cows throughout the years.  V is the brand for Vollrath, which is my great grandparents brand from their ranch in Texas many years ago.

We even installed a goat scratching station for the little girls on their front porch.

chicken barn 9

But no, our animals aren’t spoiled.  The goats have been enjoying lounging on the front porch in the sun, although I haven’t been fast enough to capture any cute pictures.

I’m so thrilled with my chicken barn and all the sweat and hours of work Tom put into building it for me.  Our first Valentine’s day together I had worked a graveyard the whole night of the thirteenth into the morning of the fourteenth.  He had to teach all day on the fourteenth so at 6:30 AM we had a breakfast date that he made for me complete with flowers and balloons.  This year for Valentine’s day I got hours and hours of work to build me the best darn chicken barn around.  He’s the very best.