Fight or Flight or Faint

Leave a comment
Deep Thoughts About POTS / Uncategorized

Fight or flight is a function of the autonomic nervous system.  My autonomic nervous system is confused and faulty.  A few days ago I was outside working to clean the garage with Tom and Carter.  I did a few trips on the stairs taking things to the basement.  I came back out to the garage and rested a bit before moving over to the deck to move the chairs.  I picked up one and got stung by a yellowjacket that was underneath the arm of the chair.  I walked back into the garage to go inside and get ice.  I made it two steps into the garage before I realized I was going to pass out.  Thanks body!  Sudden sharp pain tends to confuse my autonomic nervous system and can cause a drop in blood pressure quickly.

I made it to my wheelchair and rested until Tom could get me inside and into bed.  As he lifted me into bed Carter turned on my oxygen and grabbed me a Gatorade.  In reality, this wasn’t that big of a deal, but I was pretty sick for several hours and didn’t leave bed.

Just a little glimpse into the fun and surprises of life with POTS.

I’m super blessed to have my men.

In Other News

Guess who paid off her heart monitor bill from September, 2015?!

Image result for rolling in money meme

That’s right, I’ll be rolling in the dough soon.  Or, you know, just paying a different medical bill.

Summer is Here

So far with the change from Spring to Summer my body has not been handling very well.  I know summer is going to be a bit rough, but I’m hoping I can slowly start to take strides to be able to achieve some physical activity again.  Yesterday we walked to the mailbox and back and today I did the recumbent bike for 5 minutes.  Baby steps, right?

Image result for baby steps what about bob

Name that movie referenced in the picture above!

Hope you are all having a fantastic weekend.  I’m off to go read some stories to my favorite little kiddo!

 

 

 

The Bachelorette Rachel: Episode 4

comment 1
Bachelorette Recaps / Uncategorized

Last week there was no episode due to NBA finals so it’s been two weeks.  It was almost so long that I forgot what most dramatic thing ever was happening.  Oh yes, there was drama about if Rachel might take Eric’s rose away.

We find the guys in the mansion with Eric yelling at Iggy that it is a problem and it is his business because  ‘his name is ‘in everyone’s mouth’.  I can understand his frustration.

Meanwhile, outside Kenny and Rachel are chatting when up walks Lee.  Dun, Dun, Dunnnn!  Kenny asks him politely to give him just like 60 more seconds.  Lee repeats that he will give him 16 more.  Then he walks off to the side and counts to 16, like a total tool.

Image result for meme you're a tool

Lee then walks over and stands two feet in front of them while Kenny tries to finish his thought.  Believe it or not, this bothers Kenny.

Lee sits down and proceeds to show Rachel hat he brought the knife his grandpa gave him.  No one is concerned that the crazy guy has a knife?  Oh hey, did I mention I brought my Grandpa’s machine gun to the mansion? Isn’t that sweet.  Anyways Lee apparently carved something into a random piece of 2×4 he found in the mansion.  Awww.

While this love fest is going on outside, the other guys are inside discussing Lee’s quirks… or corks… or is it quirks?  I believe Peter weighs in that corks go in wine bottles.  This segment brought to you by the open bar. 

Bryan (first kisser of the season) used his time to talk to Rachel NOT about all the He-Said-He-Said drama of the house.  He’s so smart.

Kenny now decides it’s time to talk to Lee.  His mistake is that he tries to talk to Lee man to man, when clearly Lee more resembles a fifth grader on his way to detention.  I wish he was in detention instead of in this mansion.

Finally Rachel is fed up enough with the drama that she hails Chris Harrison and tells him it is time to have the rose ceremony; she’s done with this drama.  Three cheers for Rachel.

Roses go to:

  • Will
  • Dean
  • Jonathan
  • Peter
  • Adam
  • Bryan
  • Matt (penguin)
  • Josiah
  • Jack Stone
  • Iggy
  • Kenny
  • Lee

This eliminates Bryce, Brady, and Diggy.  I will miss Diggy’s bow ties and facial expressions.

One-on-One Date Card: “Dean, our love is about to take off.”

They drive out into a field/swamp area and Rachel says they are going to have a picnic.  I grew up thinking a picnic included food; call me crazy.  Picnics usually included fried chicken or sandwiches or even just cheese and bread (if you’re in France).  Their picnic includes only champagne.  I seem to remember when Yogi was stealing picnic baskets it was for the food, but maybe I’m wrong.

Image result for cartoon drunk yogi bear

As they’re out on the hood of the Jeep drinking their lunch they see a blimp off in the distance.  Rachel tells an endearing story about her childhood and always being intrigued by blimps.  The scrolling sign on the side of the blimp tells Rachel and Dean that the blimp is their ride.  Dean mentions he has a massive fear of heights.  Well done, producers.

Dean tells the camera, “On a scale of 1 to 10 my level of freakout is 10.”  He is sweaty and legitimately looks freaked out.  Poor guy.  Once they are up in the air the pilot says Rachel can take a turn.  Dean tells her to be very careful.  After she encourages him he then takes a turn.

At dinner they have a pretty intense talk.  He opens up about his mom dying when he was fourteen.  It was awful.  Second only to when mother Russia talked about why she was cast out of the house and ended up in the orphanage.

He really does not seem anywhere near as immature as you would imagine.  I believe Rachel is impressed too.  She gives him the rose.

Group Date Card: “I want to see who’s ready for commitment.” 

Guys included on this date are: Alex (usually has a semi man bun and is wearing purple), Anthony (had the one on one with the horses on Rodeo Drive), Peter, Bryan (first kiss chiropractor), Johnathan (tickle monster), Adam (owner of terrifying Adam Jr.), Matt (penguin), Kenny (professional wrestler and daddy to little girl), Lee (mr. villain pot-stirrer), Eric (tired of his name being in everyone’s mouth), Iggy (Gossip girl), Josiah (still a front-runner in my mind, attorney), and Will.

They go on a fancy boat and have a dance contest and a pushup contest.  I see no life jackets aboard, but I do see MaiTais.  Well done ABC intern for packing the essentials.  During the dance party it is so painfully evident which guys are white boys.

Josiah tells the camera that he is the sexiest guy on the boat.  He is, however, not the most humble.

Don’t get me wrong, confidence is sexy.  Arrogance is a bit less sexy.

Next up on the boat is some freestyle rapping.  Kenny and Peter both take a turn.  That goes exactly how you would expect it would go.

They stumble off the boat to find a random crowd and a judge table of little girls for the Bachelorette Spelling Bee.  Color me excited.

Iggy tells the camera that he has to do fantastically, then he proceeds to spell it: F-A-N-T-A-S-T-I-C-A-L-Y.  WRONG.  You are off to a rough start Iggy.

I feel a bit like the words are maybe not quite equal.  Kenny’s first word is Champagne.  He mixes up the N and the G.  He says he feels sad that Sham- POG- Nee eliminated him.  I feel sad for you too, buddy.

Others get eliminated by other words along the way, including the word that Chris Harrison made the little girls put on earmuffs for: Coitus.  When I was in fifth grade I certainly didn’t know what coitus meant, but it’s a new world I guess.  When I was in fifth grade the bachelor/bachelorette didn’t even exist yet, but if it did I’m certain my mom would not have allowed me to watch it anyway.

Josiah ends up winning by spelling the word stunning.  I’m not sure what is supposed to be tricky about this word, maybe the double N.  Anyways, he wins a giant trophy cup which he proceeds to drink out of for the rest of the night and I do find this most amusing.

It’s the evening portion of the date and Iggy runs out to talk to Rachel about his feelings for her and what their life together might look like and oh, wait… none of that happens.  Instead, he rushes out to tell her all about how this week he has decided that Josiah is a different person around her.  He also says that he thinks Josiah covers up his insecurities around her by being over-confident.

Amy thinks that maybe Iggy is a wee bit intimidated by Josiah and feels a little be self-conscious.  To which my mom pointed out, “He should!”

If you remember last week he helped her out by telling her that Eric was questioning her genuine-ness in the show.  Now Iggy, Rachel is a grown up lady and I feel confident she can handle this magical journey without you helping her out along the way.

(Also, sidenote*  Do y’all remember Wells Adams?  He was on Jojo’s season and then also on Bachelor in Paradise where he had a mini relationship with Ashley I-lashes.  Anyways, he does a segment on his snapchat each week of drunk snapchatting his thoughts while watching the Bachelorette.  I appreciate everything about this.  I screenshotted one of the main reasons that I enjoy Wells’ humor.

Displaying Screenshot_20170620-100643.png

While Iggy is outside being a tattle tale to Rachel, the other guys are inside discussing the elegance and poise that Rachel brings to the table.  My friend Mev pointed out that this is surely the typical locker room conversation guys have.

“Did you see the pair of poise and elegance on that girl?”

Iggy enters the room and sits down right next to Josiah (because this show doesn’t believe in personal space) and tells him immediately that Rachel was asking about him and his genuine-ness (false) so he told her what he thinks about Josiah.  Josiah is less than impressed with Iggy.

In an in-the-moment with the cameraman Josiah says, “with all due respect, Iggy’s a bitch.”  I always get excited when sentences start with ‘with all due respect’.

Meanwhile Lee is being a tattle tale to Rachel about how Kenny yelled at him on rose ceremony night and was very aggressive.  Oh and he flipped him off- aggressively!

Image result for im telling mom meme

Now Rachel talks to Kenny to ask about his aggressive yelling at Lee.  Bla bla bla, Kenny regrets the way he handled it but does tell Rachel that possibly Lee is not being completely truthful.  WHAT?!

Lee describes Kenny (professional wrestler) to the camera crew as a 220 pound ballerina.  What we have here is a classic case of handcuff bravery.

You see, in the law enforcement world, sometimes people being arrested are very respectful and comply until they are in handcuffs then there is a whole lot of “take off these cuffs and fight me like a man” and other such threats about their toughness.

Image result for hold me back gif

I feel like maybe Lee feels pretty tough with all the no-violence contracts signed and all the camera crew and producers nearby.  Something tells me if he were to meet 220 pound ballerina Kenny in a dark alley, he might be singing a different tune.

We see Kenny come inside and ask Lee to come speak with him outside, you know so the blood doesn’t ruin the carpet in the mansion.  They go outside and the other guys say unless punches are thrown they are not interested in the drama.  They then go to watch.

Just then, the dreaded To Be Continued words flash up on the screen.  In the previews for next week, Kenny is bleeding from the eye.  I feel certain it is from some challenge on a date or other unrelated event, but I will in fact be tuning in to watch, so well done ABC editors.

What do you think? Does Lee throw his purse at Kenny? Does Lee punch Kenny?  If so, does Kenny break a folding chair over Lee in return?

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Can You Figure These Out?

comments 5
The Brain Gym

If you follow my blog, you know I believe in challenging my brain by working out logic and word puzzles.  I’m always keeping an eye out for fun Brain Gym stuff to share with y’all.  I found some fun TV show pictograms and I thought I would share.

Can you solve these?  I’ll post the answers down below, but take a few minutes and try to work these out first!

I found these pictograms over on Sporcle.com

Name each TV show:

One

tv pictogram 1

Two

tv pictogram 2

Three

tv pictogram 3

Four

tv pictogram 4

Five

tv pictogram 5

Six

tv pictogram 6

Seven

tv pictogram 7

Eight

tv pictogram 8

Nine

tv pictogram 9

Ten

tv pictogram 10

Eleven

tv pictogram 11

Twelve

tv pictogram 12

Thirteen

tv pictogram 13

Fourteen

tv pictogram 14

Fifteen

tv pictogram 15

 

Answers below.

 

 

 

Keep Scrolling

 

 

 

 

 

A little more

 

 

 

Answers:

  1. Knots Landing
  2. Love Boat
  3. Charlie’s Angels
  4. Gunsmoke
  5. Cash Cab
  6. House of Cards
  7. Reading Rainbow
  8. Family Ties
  9. Hell’s Kitchen
  10. General Hospital
  11. Batman
  12. Two and a Half Men
  13. Miami Vice
  14. Little House on the Prairie
  15. Third Rock from the Sun

 

How did you do?  Was your brain able to do a little work on the weekend?

Hope y’all have a happy week!

 

Our Little Farm is Growing

comments 2
Funny Farm Stuff / Uncategorized

Since the first time we looked at chicks I have wanted ducklings.  They are stinkin’ adorable.  Tom has always said no.

Sadly our chickens didn’t make it much into the Fall.  They ‘went to live on another farm’.  Or maybe they were dinner for a coyote or a hawk.  Either way, we only ended up getting around 6 or 7 eggs total from our first four chicks we got last spring.

A couple days ago Tom told me that he had got four presents for me.  I couldn’t think of what they might be.  Yesterday I was told it was the day of the present getting.  I was too sick to ride in the car down to town to pick up the mystery gifts.  Tom said if I could feel up to it to try to be outside when he and Carter got back from town.

I gathered some water and went outside to sit in the shade.  Then I took a break to throw up.  Then I went back to my chair to eagerly wait!

They pulled up and he told me to go out back and see if I noticed anything different.  I saw right away that the chicken coop was moved over by the goat pen.  Tom came through the door with two hens.  Then Carter came out with another box… DUCKLINGS.

lucy and ethel

The poor chickens had a bit of a rough life before arriving at our farm.  Tom said not to expect them to lay eggs for a couple days due to stress.  Today we got two eggs! I think they approve of their new farm.  So much room for activities!

Image result for so much room for activities

The hens aren’t officially named yet, but the ducklings are Lucy and Ethel.  I’m already in love.  Our hens have already laid almost as much as our other chickens did total!  I’m excited and very happy with all my new girls.

henny pennys

One more pic of the baby girls (hopefully).

lucy and ethel 2

 

The Bachelorette Rachel: Episode 3

Leave a comment
Bachelorette Recaps / Uncategorized

We start back up on this episode with DeMario in the driveway with “security” waiting to talk to Rachel.  She humors him and goes out with her fur shawl to talk to him.  He did have to Uber over, after all.  He says a lot of bla bla bla joy only comes after pain and she should give him a second chance.  She listens and then says no she gave him his chance in the gym and he was not honest with her.

He leaves and contrary to the previews we saw last week the other guys did not all fight him (shocking).  Josiah cleverly perceives that she is not some high school girl; she’s a strong woman who takes no nonsense.  Good observation.

They cheer that she sent him home.  The cocktail party continues.  Tickler Jonathan brings giant hands to his time with her.  Big massive glove hands.  I can’t imagine how that went down with the ABC intern.  “Go forth and fetch massive hands.  No, no, not Hulk hands; those would be too manly.  Big creepy hands.”  Rachel thinks it’s hilarious.

During Whaabooom’s alone time with Rachel he says that Blake is only mad at him because he has a crush on him (PLOT TWIST).  Whaabooom knows this because he woke up one night and Blake was standing above him peeling and eating a banana.  Rachel takes this moment to ask if he finished the banana.  That’s the question she had?

Rachel follows up with Blake and tells him what Whaabooom said.  Blake said this can’t be true because he doesn’t eat carbs so he would never eat a banana.  Mystery solved.

A rose ceremony finally commences.

Roses go to: Brian, Bryce, Eric, Anthony, Will, Jonathan, Jack Stone, Matt, Alex, Adam, Kenny, Brady, Lee, Iggy, and final rose goes to Diggy, which leaves both Whaabooom and Bryce going home.

They say their goodbyes and go out to the driveway to do their final filming about their opinion of each other, since that is what this show is about, and overhear each other which leads to a driveway duel.  I wish it was a duel.  It would have been much more interesting.  Instead it was just swearing and yelling about who was funny and who wasn’t and other nonsense.  Bryce does put his hand on Whaabooom’s shoulder though when he says “F— you.”  So, maybe there is a crush there.  I saw no banana though.

Group Date- “Lights, Camera, Action. Come join me on the set of Ellen.”

Includes: Bryan, Jonathan, Peter, Alex, Will, Fred

Some of the guys have accurately predicted that this date will include dancing since this is Ellen after all.  Rachel and Ellen talk about the guys first.

Rachel: He tickled me when he got out of the limo.

Ellen: I don’t like that.

Rachel: He acted like he was Urkel when he got out of the limo.

Ellen: I don’t like that.

Ellen brings the guys out and demands they take their shirts off and dance in the audience while collecting money for charity.  Some are automatically thrilled.  Others are less excited about surprise-topless-and-dancing-on-national-tv.  Valid.  My first thought would be shooooot, I regret missing those last 60,000 situps.

After the dancing (of which Ellen pointed out that the tickler does not dance well), she brings the guys on stage to play Never Have I Ever, a classic party game.  She asks about kissing Rachel.  Poor Jonathan (tickler).  In his in the moment with the camera he says, “maybe they just kissed her on the cheek, but I haven’t done that either.”

Alex’s in the moment contains a heartfelt apology, “whoever’s grandma I just danced on, I’m so sorry.”

The only other things learned during the Never Have I Ever game include that:

  • Freddy has slept with a woman twice his age.
  • Two guys haven’t thought about having sex with Rachel.  Ellen points out that she doesn’t believe them.
  • Alex peed in the pool at the mansion.
  • None of them have hit on another woman while on a date with someone else.  (Rachel points out that they all danced topless in the audience just moments before. Touche.)

During the evening portion of the group date Freddy awkwardly asks her if he can kiss her.  Everyone cringed.  They made out.  Then Rachel picked up the rose (extra cruel) and asks to talk to Freddy.  She tells him she can’t return the feelings he has and walks him out. She returns and gives the rose (still cold from being out at the rejection limo with Freddy) to Alex.

One on One Date- “Meet me at the Rodeo”- goes to Anthony

Anthony thinks they are going to a Rodeo and realizes as he gets there that they are going to ride horses on Rodeo Boulevard.  It’s pretty weird, but whatever.  They go to several stores and get cowboy boots and belt buckles and matching jackets.  They visit a cupcake ATM and get ‘horse cupcakes’.  I would like to visit a cupcake ATM.

In one store the horse poops and Rachel says it is so embarrassing.

state farm meme

Afterwards at dinner they talk and Anthony seems pretty genuine and normal.  She gives him the date rose.

Meanwhile in the house, Eric is losing his mind.  He doesn’t know how she feels about him and he wants to know.  He says he is going to confront her and ask.  Might I suggest passing a note with three boxes that she can check, yes, no, or maybe?  That worked great through middle school.  Iggy is in this supposed yelling match defending Rachel’s honor or some other nonsense.  I don’t know.  These guys don’t have TV or cell phone and they are B.O.R.E.D.

Group Date: “Sometimes in relationships the women have to take charge.”

Guys included: Brady, Dean, Adam, Kenny, Bryce, Lee, Jack, and Eric.

Rachel shows up at the house with a surprise– she brought her girlfriends from last season to check out the guys and plan today’s date.  They have a party bus complete with stripper pole out front.  The girls ask the firefighter to get on the pole.  Who is shocked that the firefighter is a seasoned pole dancer? Not this cop’s wife… not at all.  After all, they have a lot of down time at the station of course.

The girls chat with the guys to find out the low down on the drama in the house.  I have to quickly pause the TV to confirm what I think I see.  Yes, I knew I loved Raven.  She has an entire bottle of Fireball on her lap.  She is prepared.

raven fireball

She asks two guys (Bryce and Lee) who might not be a good fit for Rachel or might not be there for the right reason.  They both say Eric.  She reports this back to Rachel of course.

The main part of the date is mud wrestling.  No one is thrilled about going up against Kenny, the professional wrestler.  It’s mildly amusing.

At the evening portion of the date Rachel makes a point to talk to Eric.  She tells him that both Bryce and Lee question his motives.  **Sidenote:  Bryce and Lee won’t be riding home on the party bus, because they are currently under it.

Eric confronts the guys.  All the other guys leave the area (brilliant).  Eric says he trusts the way Bryce meant it, but Lee is not trustworthy.  Lee twice tells Eric that he loves him to death.  Eric correctly questions and says, “why do you keep saying that?”

Eric gets the date rose.  Lee says he’s ‘happy for him’.  I don’t believe him.

The Eric drama continues at the rose ceremony cocktail party the next night.  Now it’s time for Eric to confront everyone.  There is yelling and eyebrow raising and other chirping.

I don’t know where I stand on the Eric thing, but I do know that Lee is a tool and his hair is ridiculous.  In the previews for next week Kenny calls Lee a bitch so I’m very much looking forward to that right there.

Until next week.

 

 

 

Bachelorette Rachel: Episode 2

comment 1
Bachelorette Recaps

Another recap for you friends.  First off, last night during the show I was really far too sick to have friends up, but they came up anyway and while they were here they cleaned my kitchen too.  THE BEST!

I did take notes during the episode though and don’t you worry; there was drama.

On to the recap!

Chris Harrison brings the first date card along with the news that there will be two group dates this week and one one-on-one.  A rose will be available to be given out on each date.

First group date card reads: I’m looking for husband material.

Guys on the date: Dean, Jack, Jonathan, Blake, Iggy, Kenny, Fred, and Lucas.  (Don’t remember a guy named Lucas?  That’s because he mostly goes as WHAABOOOM. Ugh)

This is the best date in the history of Bachelor/Bachelorette dates because Ashton Kutcher and Mila Kunis are there.  They are hands down one of my favorite celebrity couples.  They just seem so real every time I see an interview about their life.  Sidenote: they are the only celebrity couple who refuses to use a nanny, as they wanted to actually be a part of the raising of their child.  But enough about them.

This date includes a ‘husband’ obstacle course.  The men will be eliminated as they fall behind while running through the course.  It starts with baby dolls that apparently have ‘real-fake poop’ in a diaper that needs to be changed.  Next the baby doll must be dressed and put in a baby Bjorn carrier on the front of each man.  I think they got off easy.  Have you seen those long pieces of fabric that can be wrapped a hundred different ways to carry a baby?  Those moms are like ninjas when they somehow magically attach a baby to themselves with those things.  Next they have to vacuum down a carpet and then dig though soapy dish water to find a large diamond ring.  There are only two rings in the water.  After finding the ring they place it in a big ring box then set a dinner table correctly and sprint to get flowers and back to the table to win.  Sounds easy enough.

They start off fairly evenly matched.  No one throws up at the fake baby poop.  A few forget to plug in the vacuums which gets them eliminated.  Kenny, who is a dad in real life, is doing fairly well and makes it to one of the positions in the final two.  The other is Mr. Whaabooom, however I feel like he should be eliminated since he had his baby underwater while he was digging for the ring.  As they go for the run to get flowers he stiff-arms Kenny (professional wrestler) to knock him down.  Whaabooom wins and spikes his baby.  Is this funny? Should we be impressed? We get it producers.  Enough. Let her send him home.  Anyways he wins a special 30 seconds with her or something.  I feel like the prize for winning varies based on if someone she likes wins or not.  If it had been Kenny I bet they would have got a special rooftop dinner together or something before the evening chat portion of the date with everyone.

Afterwards someone mentions Whaaboom and Ashton Kutcher is puzzled.

Mila: “That is the trademark noise he makes.”

Ashton (for the win): “For what?” Best quote of the night.

Mila: “Because he can.”

Ashton is not impressed. Neither is America.

Blake (the aspiring drummer and promoter of his supposedly magical genitalia) can’t stand Lucas and knows he’s not there for the right reasons.  He’s been doing his whaabooom nonsense for three years now apparently.  How does he not have a nonstop headache?  We learn during this group date that Blake’s roommate dated Whaabooom so he has a prior knowledge of him.  He takes it upon himself to tell Rachel that Lucas is here to promote himself and is so concerned about it that he even brought stage makeup to make sure he looks good on camera– because otherwise we wouldn’t be interested in his whaabooom-ness obviously.

Most of the conversations of the group date bore Rachel.  Dean wins the night simply by being mildly interesting.  He gets the rose.

One-on-One Date Card Reads: Peter, I’m Looking for My Best Friend.

Peter is the business owner from Wisconsin who brought her chocolate on night one because ‘everyone loves chocolate’.  She confessed and he offered to immediately throw it in the fire.  At least he has a sense of humor.

They approach a private plane and she tells Peter the news that they are flying to Palm Springs, but won’t be the only two on the date.  She wants her really good friend to come who was recently in an accident.  Peter agrees immediately.

They open the limo and out runs her dog with a cast on his front leg.  Peter makes friends immediately and asks Rachel what happened.  She says they have plenty of time on the plane to discuss it.  Apparently she doesn’t want to explain herself to PETA and hear from all of America.  See, smart woman.

They go to a dog pool party.  There is a pool for dogs and one for the humans, as well as a photo booth and all kinds of other fun things.  My dogs would love it.  I later had to explain to them that mommy and daddy aren’t rich and we don’t have a private plane to fly them to California dog pool parties.  However, I just took this picture while I’m blogging and I think it is clear that they don’t have the worst life.

dogs on the deck

Peter and Rachel have a good time together and then a fancy dinner where he continues to be charming and interesting so he clearly gets the rose.  They walk outside to enjoy surprise fireworks.

My friend Mev watching with us points out that the dog is probably inside having a heart attack.  Valid point.  (She also kept a running tally of Whaaboooms this episode and it was 6 or 7 I think, so 6 or 7 too many.)

Group Date Card Reads: Swish.

Guys on the date: Will, Jaimi, Diggy, Alex, Adam, Lee, Matt, Eric, and DeMario.

I guess there is a chance that the guys on this date might think it is even better than the Ashton Kutcher date because Rachel explains the guys get to meet Kareem Abdul Jabbar.

Image result for the bachelorette rachel episode

They shoot hoops, run drills, and break into two teams finally and play some basketball.  It is not as impressive as you might hope and at one point Rachel tells her buddy Kareen that there are more airballs than actual shots.

DeMario explains just how ready he is.  He is as calm as Michael Jordan in the finals, Tom Brady at the Superbowl, and Derek Jeter.  I waited patiently for him to name a hockey player.  Didn’t happen.

The game ends and Rachel talks to fans in the gym.  In comes a girl in a sleeveless mini turtle neck of sorts with a legit Full House scrunchie.  We are already a bit skeptical.  Rachel sits down to chat with her and she explains that she had a boyfriend and then was watching TV and saw him introducing himself to Rachel on After the Final Rose from last season.  Uh oh, it was DeMario.  He seemed like a definite front runner up until this moment.  She explains that he still has keys to her apartment even.

Image result for the bachelorette rachel episode demario

Rachel runs to fetch DeMario from the locker room (I didn’t see the orange smiles and the Capri Suns but I’m sure they were there somewhere).  DeMario is happily chatting while walking with Rachel when he walks up to see ex-or maybe not- girlfriend.  The first thing he says is “who is this?”  As the conversation continues and Rachel starts asking him to actually answer questions with no vagueness things turn south for DeMario.  Then he asks if they can talk without cameras.  Dude, have you not seen this show?  Demario admits he did have sexual intercourse with her and they were seeing each other on again off again, but that he went to her house to break it off.  Girl says this is not true.  Girl finally offers to show Rachel her cell phone to solidify her side of the story.  Yikes.  He was saying things about trying to be a better man and other bla bla bla lies.  Then she says he has keys to her apartment.  He says no, not true.  Oh wait, he remembers that he put those in her mailbox.  She adamantly claims she checks her mail every day and no, this is also not true.

Bottom line.  First words were who is this? That then becomes we were seeing each other and we had sex and I did have the keys to her apartment, but I put them in her mailbox.

Nothing else matters.  You started out by lying.  FAIL.

Image result for lie meme

She tells him to Get the F— Out!  It was just about as epic as the time Emily sent Kalon home when he referred to her daughter as baggage.

Rachel is pretty mad and finally goes to the bathroom to get a tiny break from cameras following her around.  She then goes to tell the guys and they are shocked.  She meets them that night for conversation and drinks.

Josiah wins the rose and the date by telling her how protective of her he is and how upset he was.

They prepare for the cocktail party before the rose ceremony with 10 minutes left and we know this means we won’t get to end the episode with a rose ceremony, which is HOW THE SHOW IS SUPPOSED TO GO!  We all hated it last year and we hate it again this year, ABC.

Drama unfolds as DeMario shows back up at the mansion (shocker) and Chris goes to ask Rachel if she wants to talk to him.  Then Lee sees DeMario outside and runs inside to stir up the drama pot.  They are donning their brass knuckles as we cut to a black TO BE CONTINUED screen.

More next week!

P.S. I blog these recaps for y’all, but truly Lincee is the queen of recapping the Bachelorette so if you enjoy reading funny commentary you must check out hers at Ihategreenbeans.com

My other favorite is Sharleen Joynt’s blog because she was on the show and always points out little secrets or things to look for.  More importantly, she does a best dressed and worst dressed column.  She also tracks down Rachel’s outfits and jewelry and then even finds affordable alternatives for those of us who can’t afford to fly our dogs on a private plane to a dog pool party.  You can check hers out at Alltheprettypandas.com

 

 

 

 

 

The Bachelorette: Rachel’s Season, Episode 1

comments 2
Bachelorette Recaps / Uncategorized

Well, I took to Facebook to see who might be interested if I took the time to recap the bachelorette with my sarcastic thoughts.  More people said they were interested than not so I suppose I’ll take a crack at it this season.

Now listen: if you don’t like the Bachelor/Bachelorette shows and don’t watch them, feel free to just not read these here recaps, ok?

rose edited

We start off the episode by taking about a half hour to show ‘Rachel’s Journey’ on the last season of the Bachelor when she was looking for love.  She got her heart broken.  We watched the token crying in the rejection limo scene.  It’s imperative that we re-watch this before she can start her journey to find true love.  One thing that they have made ever so clear is that this is a journey, and it is an amazing one.  Buckle up.

Rachel has champagne with girls from last season.  They share their best tips and advice for her journey.  My advice is to add orange juice with the champagne.

Harrison gives his pep talk as Rachel stands in a gorgeous sparkling white gown waiting for the limos to arrive.

Image result for rachel on night one of the bachelorette

 

The Dudes

We see a few special montages and introductions of some of the guys in their hometowns.  Some are seen with their kiddos, families, or at their place of work.  One guy took the time to read the resume of his genitalia.

Peter

Business owner (I’m guessing Lularoe)

My thoughts: Blue plaid suit.  From Wisconsin.  Seems halfway normal.  In the one on one time later he says he brings chocolate because he knows that ‘everyone likes chocolate’.  She says she doesn’t like chocolate.  He offers immediately to go throw it in the fire.

rose? Yes

Josiah

Prosecuting Attorney

My thoughts: Had a really cute intro montage.  He also made a joke about her having no ‘reasonable doubt’ about them being meant to be together after their journey.  I love a good lawyer joke.  However as the night went on his confidence turned to crazy egotistical and unrealistic.  Tone it down a bit, Jo.

Best quote when talking to the camera crew about Whaboom guy: “Do y’all drug test?”

rose? Yes

Bryan

Chiropractor

My thoughts: Columbian.  First kiss of the season.  I was surprised she didn’t ask for a towel to wipe off her mouth afterwards.  It was apparently so good for her though that she gave him the first impression rose.  I guess it was better than it looked.

Rose? First Impression Rose

Kenny

Professional Wrestler

My thoughts: Did a cute dance with her when he first met her and danced his way into the mansion.  Has a ten year old daughter.  Seems like a big teddy bear more than a ‘professional wrestler’.

Rose? Yes

Rob

Law Student

My thoughts: he gave her a bachelorette first round draft pick trading card.

Rose? No

Iggy

Consulting Firm CEO

My thoughts: Seemed mostly angry and really intense for most of the night.  It’s a long night though and maybe they didn’t put out adequate snacks.

Rose?  Yes

Bryce

Firefighter

My Thoughts: He literally ‘swept her off her feet’ at first meeting.  Overall, he looked a bit tired and hungry to me; he is a firefighter after all (it’s your fault for reading a recap written by a cop’s wife).  Plus he wore his uniform.  I’m betting he’s got less then 3 years as a firefighter.

Rose? Yes

Will

Sales Manager

My Thoughts: He did an Urkel impression when he first got out of the limo.  I’m not sure that was necessary, but she laughed.  Me-thinks there was some pre-gaming on her part.

Rose? Yes

Diggy

Senior Inventory Analyst

My thoughts: Got the nickname Diggy from his friends because he is into fashion and nice clothes and shoes.  That’s right; we have an Iggy and a Diggy in the house.

Rose? Yes

Kyle

Marketing Consultant

My Thoughts: He wanted to show her his ‘buns’, which turned out to be a basket of cheese and rolls.  Always bring food.  Can’t go wrong with that.

Rose? No

Blake K

US Marine Veteran

My Thoughts: Talked about his grandparents celebrating their 65th wedding anniversary.

Rose? No

Brady

Male Model

My Thoughts: Showed up with a sledge hammer and smashed a giant ice block to ‘break the ice’.  She said she appreciates a corny joke (thank God).  My favorite part was when he walked in with the giant hammer and all the drunk guys already indulging in the open bar yelled, “Thor is here!”

Rose? Yes

Dean

Startup Recruiter (I am not aware of this occupation)

My Thoughts: He met her already at the AFR.  This time he didn’t say anything about going black and never going back.  Good job Dean. Way to keep it together.  He also brought the stuff to build a sandcastle later on, just the two of them. She asks how to built a sandcastle and then says she could ‘literally play in the sand all day’.

Image result for jim looking into the camera

Rose? Yes

Eric

Personal trainer (aren’t we all?)

My Thoughts: He danced with her getting out of the limo.  He also previously met her at AFR.

Rose? Yes

DeMario

Executive Recruiter

My Thoughts: Previously met her at AFR.  He seems genuine.  He was excited that she remembered him.  It had only been a few days before, but I guess he thought she would have forgotten already.

Rose? Yes

Blake E.

Aspiring Drummer

My Thoughts: He marked in with a marching band to make more of an impression because he also met her at AFR, but was nervous and awkward.  The answer to nervous and awkward? A marching band.  Nothing made me feel more confident in my high school years than when I was in my super sexy marching band uniform.  He was in a traditional suit though instead of a marching band uniform.  Good call, Blake E.

He was also the guy who spoke only of his genitals for his entire introduction package.  See what I did there?

Rose? Yes

Fred

Executive Assistant

My Thoughts: Fred brought his third grade yearbook to show Rachel that she was in eighth grade at the time.  She is less than impressed.  She also mentions later that she was his camp counselor and he was a very bad kid.

Rose? Yes

Jonathan

Tickle Monster (I prefer the cookie monster)

My Thoughts: He has her close her eyes and put out her hands.  He then tickles her.  Tickle monster would have a black eye for the rose ceremony if this was my show.

Rose? Yes

Lee

Singer/Songwriter

My Thoughts: This is this season’s guitar guy. He sings a little song when he walks up to her.  She smiles a lot so she obviously likes guitar guy.

Rose? Yes

Alex

Information Systems Supervisor

My Thoughts: he comes out of the limo with a vacuum.  You might think that is the end of the vacuum skit, but you would be wrong.  This continues all night.

Rose? Yes

Milton

Hotel Recreation Supervisor (so, does that mean he cleans the pool?)

My Thoughts: He takes a selfie with her first thing out of the limo.

Rose? No, he cries because he has a bunch of outfits he was going to wear.  I’m not making this up.

Adam

Real Estate Agent

My Thoughts: He chooses to bring with him a terrifying ‘Adam Jr’ doll.  He probably hit up a prop auction the night before in L.A. and got this from a horror movie set.  Terrifying and unnecessary.  The doll is posed in creepy positions in different rooms all night long.  My favorite was when he was laying by the fire.

I would say again how creepy this is but once upon a time at a party we won a 2-foot tall nutcracker and he posed with everyone in the bar before the night was over.  P.S. if you’re at my house during Christmas time and you see Frank upon the village ladder, never touch him.

Rose? Yes, but she plainly said “Just Adam” as Adam picked up the doll to take up to the get the rose.

Matt

Construction Sales Rep

My Thoughts: He gets out of the limo in a giant penguin costume, because penguins mate for life.

Rose? Yes

Grant

Emergency Medical Physician

My Thoughts: He shows up in an ambulance with lights and sirens.  I hope this isn’t paid for with tax dollars, but moving on.  He gets out to rescue her from dying of boredom.  Ok, then.

Rose? No

Anthony

Education Software Manager

My Thoughts: He is just normal and genuine so obviously he won’t go far.

Rose? Yes

Jamey

Sales Associate Executive

My Thoughts: I don’t recall him.  I’m sure I would have remembered that name being spelled like that if I had ever seen it on TV during the episode.

Rose? Yes

Jack Stone

Attorney

My Thoughts: Seems nice.  He is from the same town as her though and is also an attorney and just happens to be the same age as her.  Could this be an issue?

Rose? Yes

Mohit

Product Manager

My Thoughts: He seems a bit, off.  I don’t know, but I’m not sure she’s digging the vibe.

Rose? No

Jedidiah

ER Physician

My Thoughts: He starts by saying when Jacob met Rachel, he wept.  She is impressed that he can recite two people from the bible.

Rose? No

Michael

Former Pro Basketball Player

My Thoughts: He gets out of the limo with a brownie and says something about the blacker the brownie the sweeter it is, or something like that.  Either way, he brought dessert so props for that.  He does have a limp so his story about basketball is believable.

Rose? No

Lucas

Whaboom

My Thoughts: Just as the guys are inside asking who the crazy guy will be this season, Lucas pulls up… with a megaphone and a Whaboom shirt.  Whaboom is an ‘essence’ and a ‘lifestyle’.  Whaboom means screaming and shaking your face.  Rookie Mistake: She should have confiscated the megaphone.

As he walks into the house and does his patented screaming and face shaking routine, they immediately realize that he is the crazy one.

Rose? Yes, but it was last so that everyone could do a scene talking to the camera about how they will be crushed if they go home, but Whaboom stays.  Clearly he is a producer pick.

……..

In general all the guys talk about how dumb Nick is for not picking her in his season, which I find amusing.  She comes in to make a toast and they all raise their empty glasses and drunkenly cheer.  They toast to “No Regrets”.

Image result for no ragrets

Well, according to the previews for the following weeks, we are in for the most dramatic season yet!

How many more times will we have to see Whaboom do his Whaboom thing?  Who will get hurt first in a physical competition? Who is going to be the resident villain?

Feel free to weigh in, but no spoilers please!

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Special Request- Spring Scattergories

comments 2
The Brain Gym

Alright Michaela, you asked and here it is.  Just for you and your work buddies!

SPRING is finally, FINALLY, finally, finally here!

Since you prefer the Scattergories where each answer starts with the last letter of the previous answer, we’ll do it that way.  For the first response, use the first letter of your middle name.

All Things Spring

  1. Your favorite spring flower. Heather
  2. Your favorite activity for outside in the rain. Running (well it used to be anyway)
  3. Best Spring break destination: Galapagos Islands
  4. The first thing you plant in your garden: Squash
  5. The cutest baby animal born in the spring: Hare
  6. The best item to find on sale during springtime is: Easter decorations
  7. The best activity for a sunny Spring day: Sweeping the driveway (just ask Tom; it’s his favorite)
  8. The exercise program you start up in Spring when you remember that summer is next: Yoga
  9. Your least favorite spring cleaning task: Atop the cupboards
  10. The very best thing about Spring is: SUNSHINE

Ok, for some reason that was a tricky list to come up with!

Today is game 5 in the Pittsburgh Penguins vs. Ottawa Senators series.  GO PENGUINS!

 

Tuesday Things- The Twenty-Third Edition

Leave a comment
Smile Makers / Tuesday Things

It’s Tuesday.  You know what that means.  I’ve gathered up some news, some weird, some scary, and some fun to dazzle you with today.  There will be talk of sushi, sharks, M&M’s, and a pretty dang mysterious realty listing.  I know I’ve got your attention now.

Sushi News

If you are a sushi lover, maybe you’ve already seen this news floating around on the internet.  Similar to the worms that might be floating in your intestines right now.

sushi

I’m not so worried about this specific ailment because I tend to feel the same way about sushi as Sheldon’ mom on the Big Bang Theory.

Leonard: So, Mrs. Cooper, what did you think of the sushi?

Mrs Cooper: It was good. The only thing that would have made it better is if it was cooked and if it was beef.

Sharks– “You Have to Respect the Sea”

My Fellow FRIENDS lovers probably caught that Ross quote above.  Here’s a fun little story coming out of Orange County.  The Orange County Sheriff helicopter made this fun little announcement the other day:

“Attention in the water.  This is the Orange County Sheriff’s Department.  Be advised state parks is asking us to make an announcement.  You are paddleboarding next to approximately 15 great white sharks.  They are asking you to exit the water in a calm manner.  Thank you for your cooperation.”

orange county announcement

So what they meant by that last part was, “good luck not pooping yourself while you paddle as fast as humanly possible.”

If I mention sharks, I have to show this scene from couple’s retreat because it makes me laugh every time.

“I need you to get the French out of your mouth!”

M&M Drama

I don’t really understand why this is an issue, but apparently it is causing quite a stir.  Do you see what the problem is?

mandms

The big issue is that the red M&M and the yellow M&M are ‘tearing apart the orange M&M’.  Let me guess… you all saw the delicious-looking caramel filled M&M, not the brutal murder.  Me too.

Are You Brave Enough?

There is a realty listing that is drawing a bit of attention.  It’s a house located in South Carolina.  $130,000 with 4 bedrooms and 3 baths, 2656 square feet.  Not a bad deal, right?  Let’s explore the red flags in this listing.

  • The first sentence of the listing says, “please read carefully before scheduling showings.”  Hmmmm
  • Then there is this little tidbit of information.  Upstairs apartment cannot be shown under any circumstances. Buyer assumes responsibility for the month-to-month tenancy in the upstairs apartment. Occupant has never paid, and no security deposit is being held, but there is a lease in place. (Yes, it does not make sense, please don’t bother asking.) Makes plenty of sense.
  • Then there are these photos:

 

Was the upstairs tenant angry? Then there is this one.

Just a bit of red paint along the window and door.  Nothing to see here.  Why are ghost hunters paying to go in old creepy abandoned buildings?  For a pretty penny they could buy this little gem.

 

Well, that’s all I’ve got for y’all on this rainy Tuesday.  I hope you all enjoyed these Tuesday Things and your Tuesday as well.  Have a happy week!

 

 

My Coffee Bar- Including a How-To DIY Photo Transfer Onto Wood

Leave a comment
Chronic-Girl Crafts / Hold My Gatorade and Watch This

Welcome friends.  I told you I had been working on a project.  For the last couple of weeks I’ve been busy making décor for my new coffee bar.  This area had previously been a place where random papers and garbage and tools and mail and everything else collected.  Now it is a beautiful coffee bar, not to mention I have more counter space too!

Ok, onto the pictures.

coffee bar 1 edited

First I did a fun coffee painting that would be a focal point on the wall.  Here’s a closer look at it.  It’s not perfect, but there are parts I really love.  Look at those lips.

coffee bar 10

Then I found a favorite coffee quote and whipped up a little wood burning.  I added some glitter Washi tape to fancy-it-up.  If you want to know the magic to super easy wood-burning, click here to check out the how-to post I made.

coffee bar 3 edited

Finally, I found vintage/retro coffee signs that I loved and saved the images to transfer them onto wood.

Here’s how cute they are.  I’ll show you how stinkin’ easy they are to make.

coffee bar 5 edited

Start out with your sanded surface.  I like these cute little wood shapes that are available for less than a dollar at Wal-Mart.  I like a fun color background so paint that first.  After it is painted and dry then you can do your photo transfer.

First, pick whichever photo you want to use and flip it horizontally.  The easiest way to do this is to insert the image into a Word document.  Then, click on the picture and in your toolbar you should see a rotate button.  Click on that and choose flip horizontal.  This makes it so that when you apply the transfer, the image will be facing the correct way and not backwards.

flip horizontally

Now, in order to easily transfer the image it needs to be printed onto Freezer paper.  The way I do this is to cut freezer paper just a bit smaller than the size of the paper and tape it down onto printer paper very well.  If the printer grabs an edge of the freezer paper it will distort and mess up your image, which is a huge waste of ink.

Tape it down well (shiny side up) and then load it into the printer so that the image will be printing onto the shiny side of the freezer paper.

Size it up carefully to make sure it is the size you want and print it out.

Now carefully place it facedown onto your wooden surface just once (it can blur and smear if you put it down and pick it up and re-place it over and over) and immediately hold it in place while you tape it down.  Again, tape it down in several places.

coffee bar 7

Now, use a large spoon to rub transfer onto the wood.  Go over all parts back and forth multiple times.

coffee bar 8

Now in-tape only one corner and slowly pull up the freezer paper.  As you go, make sure that the image is transferred well.  If any parts are not well transferred, put the paper back down and rub over it again.

coffee bar 9

It’s as easy as that!

coffee bar 2

As for the other fun little decorations… I got these fantastic floral canisters from auction and the colors make me so happy.

coffee bar 6

Oh and the little tiny red stool is from Hobby Lobby.

This shelf was black, but I repainted it a brighter color.  The little treasure on the left is a box from a single coffee cup maker from World War II and I got it from an auction.  The coffee can on the right adds a fun pop of color and I picked it up at a barn sale.

coffee bar 11

Next, I took a plain glass milk bottle and decoupaged it with lots of used stamps from all different years.  I got all of the stamps from a barn sale for $2 and had fun picking my favorites to use.  I just like the look of some one-of-a-kind decorations.  Plus I enjoy the variety of colors against the brown wall.  I threw in some coral colored flowers from Hobby Lobby.

coffee bar 12

This is one of my very favorite photo transfer pieces just because I love the Johnny Cash and June love story.  Tom happened to mention them in his vows to me so there is a little extra special meaning there for me, but this answer to the question of his definition of paradise is just a favorite.

coffee bar 4

That right there, is my new fancy coffee bar.  What do you think, y’all?  Do you want some coffee?  Does this post make you thirsty?

Are you busy looking for where you are going to make your coffee bar?