Today’s Independent Medical Exam: What I Wish I Could Have Said

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Big Medical Words / Deep Thoughts About POTS / Uncategorized

Ooh boy, how long until self control goes out of style?

Today I had my independent medical exam.  So I’m on disability through social security, but what I am currently trying to get approved for is the ability to access my retirement fund now because I have essentially retired due to disability.  So this is the money that I paid in during my time in law enforcement.  It’s really not much because I only had six-ish years, but it is still money and though it would be little, it would be enough to cover my monthly prescriptions at least, which would be nice.

The first time I submitted my request I was denied.  All of my specialists filled out forms and sent them in with their opinion of my chances of return to work.  They all said the same thing, that it was not probable and I had no potential of recovery.  Well, the people who approve the access of retirement funds due to disability sent those forms and all of my medical paperwork to some other doctor who never saw me or treated me, but based on what he read he decided he knew better than my current specialists and that I was fine to go to work.  I went ahead and appealed that decision which is how I earned this trip to an independent medical exam.

So here is how that little exam went.

Fill out this form detailing your injury and what hurts:

injury sheet

Like the way I drew in the laying down stick figure for syncope?

Ok, Here are some snippits of my time meeting with the doctor.

Doctor: Why are you on these medications?

Me: Which ones? All of them? ( I went on to explain the purpose of each one)

What I wish I could have said (WIWICHS): Because my extensive team of specialists thought it was a good idea that we do whatever we can to keep me conscious and out of the hospital as much as possible, if that’s ok with you ma’am.

Doctor: Do they work?

Me: Well, not entirely obviously.  They work more than no meds.

Doctor: If a medication doesn’t work, you shouldn’t take it.

WIWICHS: You realize that there is no FDA approved treatment for POTS right?  They can only treat individual symptoms.  Beta blocker is better than no beta blocker.  There is no medication that fully eliminates fainting and tremors for everyone.

Doctor: Sometimes you need to change medications to find the right one.

WIWICHS: Bitch please, I’ve tried Lobetalol, Atenolol, Propranolol, and I’m currently on Metoprolol, as well as a trial of Florinef and midodrine all with trials of varying dosages.  You are two years behind.

Doctor: Cymbalta is not good for everyone.

Me: I’ve had genetic testing done to find out which SSRI is best for my body and it is the best choice and has the least side effects.

 

Doctor: Why is your oxygen so low?  I mean it is markedly low at times.

Me: That is one thing that has not been determined by any of my doctors.  It’s unknown I suppose.

Doctor: Do you ever get so anxious/stressed/worried/excited that you just forget to breathe and hold your breath for an extended period of time, you know, like some babies do when they throw temper tantrums?

WIWICHS: Well only if I want my blankie.  I love the way I feel when my oxygen is at 81 so ya, I do that a lot.

Me: No. In fact when I did my testing with my primary doctor to quality for in-home oxygen I did the testing in the room and was observed by medical personnel who watched my breathing the entire time.

 

Doctor: But you’ve never lost consciousness though, right?

Me: Well, yes.  Each time I pass out I lose consciousness.

Doctor: Well, in order to lose consciousness your heart has to stop.  Has your heart stopped?

Image result for gif scrubs doctor

WIWICHS: Have I died you mean? Um, no.  Which medical school did you go to again?

 

14 minutes in…

Doctor: So this kind of sounds almost like autonomic dysfunction.

WIWICHS: Which website did you read when you googled POTS three minutes before you walked in here?

Image result for gif facepalm

Me:  Well, yes.  POTS is a form of dysautonomia, or autonomic dysfunction.

 

Doctor: Do you do a lot of landscaping?

WIWICHS: I just told you that there are times that my arms hurt so much and are so weak that lifting the fork to my mouth is too hard.  But ya, in my spare time when my heart isn’t stopped I run a landscaping business.

Image result for gif psych

 

Doctor: What is this pain that you are mentioning?

WIWICHS: Owies, Booboos, Owchies? Any of these ringing a bell?

Me: Probably a combination of POTS, Fibromyalgia, and Endometriosis.

Doctor: But POTS doesn’t cause pain, right?

WIWICHS: Did you at least read the list of symptoms that google brings up on the first page?

 

Doctor: How much of this is due to anxiety do you think?

Me: Well, none.  I’m not anxious, stressed or depressed.

Doctor: Well looking at all of this I don’t know how you couldn’t be.

Image result for gif ok you talked me into it

WIWICHS: You should run a crisis hotline, you know, talk people into jumping.  But no, I’m pretty happy.  I have a perfect life in all ways except my body doesn’t quite pick up the slack.

 

Doctor: Have you tried compression stockings?

Me: Yes, several different varieties.

Doctor: Well sometimes you have to try a few before you find one that works for you.

Me: Well yes, I have tried several.  Different strengths and coming up to different heights.

Doctor: You just need to try men’s.

Image result for gif psych

Image result for gif psych

 

Doctor: So have any doctors ever seen you have a tremor or pass out in front of them?

Me: Yes many times.  Here is a video of the tremors in the hospital.

Doctor: This doesn’t make sense.  You can’t have tremors while you are conscious.

Image result for gif what?

 

Doctor: Now, POTS is commonly thought of as a circulatory disorder.

WIWICHS: Well, you would know.  You’re the POTS expert.  You’ve known about it for a whole thirty minutes. None of the specialists who study it refer to it as a circulatory disorder, but sure.  If that makes you happy.

 

Doctor: I know that pregnancy makes almost all of POTS’ symptoms go away.

WIWICHS: This part you are just making up obviously.  Pregnancy can actually bring on POTS and is known to in several cases.  Other cases end with crawling and or being hospitalized the entire pregnancy and several end up losing the baby too.  And, hypothetically even if it did for the full nine months, after that the POTS would be back and a newborn baby to be cared for.

Me: Hmm, I’ve always heard the opposite from doctors.

Finally, in the last 2 minutes of appointment:

Doctor: I just feel like, if it were me, I would tell you to give up sugar.

Image result for gif west wing

I stopped at the bakery next door to buy a cookie for the way home.  Just on principal.  It’s who I am.

cookie

 

Dancing with the Stars: Disney Night

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Dancing with the Stars Recaps / Uncategorized

We survived most memorable year night so we get Disney week as a reward!  Kermit, Donald, Pinnochio, and Mickey are all in the house.  I love you guys, my faithful dance readers, so I will keep recapping, but just know in your heart that it’s mostly over since Sharna is out.

Victoria & Val- Jazz- Steamboat Willy

The old, original black and white Mickie and Minnie.  It was cute and fun.  In perfect sync throughout.  Lots of cute animated-looking choreography.  Well done, Val.  I loved it.  The judges did too.

  • Carrie Ann- 9
  • Len- 9
  • Bruno- 9

Vanessa & Maks- Waltz- Snow White & the Seven Dwarfs

Insider tip: waltz is a tiny bit boring.  She did have a good flowy costume, but it was a teeny bit boring for me.  The judges liked the amount of true waltz in it, which led Vanessa to say she can now waltz anywhere out on the town.  Look out L.A.!

  • Carrie Ann- 8
  • Len- 8
  • Bruno- 8

Lindsey & Mark- Foxtrot- Cinderella

They are dancing to when you wish upon a star.  Mickey Mouse is playing the piano.  Her gown is amazing.  I want to wear it around the house.  Carrie Ann says it had one of the finest holds she has ever seen.  Len drooled over it.  Bruno Bruno’d about it.

  • Carrie Ann- 9
  • Len- 10
  • Bruno- 9

I forgot the 10 score paddle has mouse ears.  I hope we see it more throughout the night.

Nick & Peta- Quick Step- The Jungle Book

The do a cute little happy quick step to the Bare Necessities.  It was very happy and I enjoyed it.  Len says it hit all the bare necessities of quick step, but his right arm was a bit droopy.  Bruno says he lost his step a few times, that is, after calling him the Lord of the jungle.  Carrie Ann tells him it was healing, but there were some mistakes so she had to score it appropriately.

  • Carrie Ann- 7
  • Len- 8
  • Bruno- 7

Poor Nick looks less than thrilled to see those 7’s.

Drew & Emma- Viennese Waltz- The Rainbow Connection (Muppet Movie)

First of all, Drew does some pretty good muppet impressions.  I’m impressed.  Kermit is sitting at the judge table to introduce them for their dance.  I don’t think he looks tall and lanky.  I think he looks classy and elegant and leads Emma around the floor.  Bruno says a lot of words, but overall he was expecting Gonzo and he got prince charming.  Carrie Ann calls him a contender.  Len liked the footwork.  He says he wasn’t too keen on him week one, but he likes him now.  Awwww.

  • Carrie Ann- 9
  • Len- 8
  • Bruno- 8
  • Kermit- 10!

Sasha & Gleb- Rumba- The Little Mermaid

A rumba to a Disney song is just weird.  Rumba is sensual and sexy and doing that to ‘Kiss the Girl’ is a little weird, but I’m not in charge I guess.  Carrie Ann says her movements were ‘oozier’.  Len tells Gleb that it was well crafted.  Bruno does a dramatic scene about a siren, a temptress of the Sea, but he thinks Sasha was ok too.

  • Carrie Ann- 8
  • Len- 8
  • Bruno- 8

Terrell & Cheryl-Quick Step- The Lion King

“You look like a prince; not a king.  King’s don’t quick step like that.” Cheryl is the queen of motivation.  They quick step to ‘I just can’t wait to be king’.  I don’t think it is his best dance ever, but I could be wrong.  The choreography and the scene changes were definitely fun though.  Carrie Ann says there was not one mistake.  See, I knew I could be wrong.

  • Carrie Ann- 9
  • Len- 8
  • Bruno- 8

Frankie & Witney- Argentine Tango-Pirates of the Caribbean

Witney tells him that he’s an actor so he should be able to act sexy, since he’s not naturally.  Frankie is appalled, but admits it’s true.  He’s more nerd than hulk.  I couldn’t tell if he was going for sexy or angry with his facial expressions, but I thought the dancing was really pretty good. He got a standing ovation, so I wasn’t the only one who thought it was good.  Carrie Ann is quick to say that she saw one mistake, but it was Witney not Frankie.  Witney owns it and says her heel caught on her dress.  Len says he won’t be walking the plank anytime soon.

  • Carrie Ann- 10
  • Len- 9
  • Bruno- 10

Jordan & Lindsay- Foxtrot- Moana

They dance to the song ‘you’re welcome’.  The song has a baby bit of rap in the middle and Lindsay truly shows off her choreographer skills.  It was very well done.  I loved it.  Len liked the swing and the sway but he wasn’t a big fan of all that part in the middle, however he says the part in hold was so good that he can forgive anything else.  Bruno is impressed with the foxtrot to a contemporary beat.  Ya, that’s what I liked too.  the syncopation of the beat… or the lack of syncopation of the beat, I forget.  Oh, apparently he was the singer of the song he danced to.  Well, neat.  That’s what I was doing when I was 18 too.

  • Carrie Ann- 10
  • Len- 10
  • Bruno- 10

First perfect score of the year.  Well deserved.  But let me remind you that the kid was just on Broadway.  So I’m not shocked.

Nikki & Artem- Jazz- Coco (Upcoming Disney Pixar Movie)

Artem brought in traditional folk dancers to help.  There is a big fancy floopy dress.  It had all the flavors of Mexico, according to Len.  He also said it was her best dance.  Bruno calls for the tequila shots.  Carrie Ann says Nikki was completely herself out there during this dance.

  • Carrie Ann- 9
  • Len- 9
  • Bruno- 9

 

It’s time for an elimination.  The first couple in jeopardy is Sasha and Gleb.  The couple who joins them is Frankie and Witney.  GASP!

The couple eliminated is Sasha and Gleb.  She did lose a bunch of weight for her wedding like she wanted to and she gained a bunch of confidence.  The audience gives her a standing ovation and she’s grateful for the experience.

I have to go vote for Frankie now.

 

 

Dancing with the Stars- Most Memorable Year

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Dancing with the Stars Recaps / Uncategorized

It’s most memorable year night, which is my least favorite night.  Every single stinkin’ person does whatever year was the most horrifically sad year of their life.  It’s so joyful and uplifting… or not.  The other dumb thing is that no one gets any bad scores because the dance was ‘for their dead grandma’ so you can’t give that a 6.  This night is unnecessary.

Anywho, here we are.  Let’s see which year made everyone cry.

Frankie & Witney- Quick Step

Frankie has even more health issues than we previously knew.  He explains that he had a series of TIA (transient ischemic attacks) or strokes.  He now has significant memory loss.  His girlfriend writes down everything they do each day so he can always look back over it.  *I’m not sobbing; you are.*  This year is his most memorable because he has finally learned how to live happy and just be happy.  So, he is my spirit animal I guess.  He has learned what I’ve been preaching.

  • Carrie Ann- 8
  • Len- 8
  • Bruno- 8

Terrell & Cheryl- Viennese Waltz

Terrell’s most memorable year was the year his grandma died because she was his whole life.  She raised him.  In his rookie year his beloved grandma got dimensia.  He cries.  Cheryl cries.  Carrie Ann cries. See, uplifting.  He really does look elegant and graceful tonight.

  • Carrie Ann- 8
  • Len- 8
  • Bruno- 8

Nikki & Artem- Contemporary

Her most memorable year was her comeback to wrestling after horrible injuries.  John Cena talks about how scary it was.  Her recovery was tough, but she worked incredibly hard to get back to her passion, wrestling.  Her routine is super fun because it starts with aerial silks work.  The dance also had a bunch of really neat lifts.

  • Carrie Ann- 8
  • Len- 8
  • Bruno- 8

Nick & Peta- Contemporary

Nick’s most memorable year was the year he wifed Vanessa.  He always wanted to fall in love and have a perfect family and she made that all possible.  The dance is really beautiful and he really tries to let loose and be himself.  It was his best yet.  He cries and gets a standing ovation.

  • Carrie Ann- 8
  • Len- 7
  • Bruno- 7

Lindsey & Mark- Viennese Waltz

Hold on to your hat, and your scarf.  Lindsey’s most memorable year was the year her dad died because she really changed.  She sobs all week through rehearsals telling the stories of her dad and how he gave up his dreams to get a higher paying job to pay for her violin lessons.  He was always wearing a hat and a scarf.  It was his trademark thing.  So for this dance Mark wears Lindsey’s dad’s hat and scarf.  At the end of the dance Mark dances away and Lindsey is all alone, then her dad’s shadow shows up behind a screen to dance with her and hand her a balloon.  Nope, not crying my eyes out at all.

  • Carrie Ann- 9
  • Len- 8
  • Bruno- 9

Derek & Sharna- Jazz

His most significant year was 2007 when his 10-month old daughter was diagnosed with a rare eye cancer.  The usual treatment for that condition is to remove the eye so they had to choose between removing her eye or trying the experimental surgery that might work or might kill her.  *AWFUL*  He ended his contract three years early and gave up 21 million dollars to take care of her.  The dance is choreographed adorably and he does it so well.  His daughter sobs.  He cries.  Carrie Ann critiques one tiny part of the dance.  REALLY? You know she’s off base because Len and Bruno both score him higher.  Can I start the IDONTLOVECARRIEANN club?

  • Carrie Ann- 7
  • Len- 8
  • Bruno- 8

Jordan & Lindsay- Contemporary

His most memorable year was when he was officially adopted by his mom and dad.  Totally cool.  He says being adopted saved his life.  He cries talking about how wonderful his parents are.  The dance is incredible.  Amazing lifts.  Bruno calls it exquisitely flawless.  After the dance he sobs, his mom sobs, his dad sobs.

  • Carrie Ann- 10
  • Len- 9
  • Bruno- 10

*first 10’s of the season*

Sasha & Gleb- Foxtrot

Sasha’s most memorable year was the last year of Pretty Little Liars and her getting engaged.  It was the end of one chapter and the start of another.  She’s happy to be getting married.  Ya sure, that’s fine, but it’s no cancer in the eyeball of a baby.

  • Carrie Ann- 8
  • Len- 8
  • Bruno- 8

Vanessa & Maks- Rumba

Vanessa was left on her dad’s doorstep by her mom when she was eight and her mom never came back.  Her upbringing is why she cares so much about family.  Her most memorable year is 2017, the year their family was complete when she had her third baby.  At 29 weeks her water broke and she was rushed into surgery.  It was a scary time for everyone.  Carrie Ann says Vanessa lost her balance on a turn, but it just felt like part of the story so she didn’t lower her score.  Neat.  Apparently Derek’s tiny mistake wasn’t a ‘part of the story’.

  • Carrie Ann- 8
  • Len- 8
  • Bruno- 8

Drew & Emma- Jive

Drew really wanted to be an actor.  He moved to Vancouver and put everything into acting and he failed.  He cries talking about his failure.  He was laying in bed one night and remembered something his dad had taught him- if someone tells you that you can’t do something, find five ways to do it.  He realized he could find a way to combine realty with TV.  There’s a fun surprise guest for the last few 8 counts of the dance- his twin brother.  My favorite part is that afterwards when Erin is interviewing them, Jonathan says that was the most stressful thing he ever did in his life.

  • Carrie Ann- 8
  • Len- 8
  • Bruno- 8

Victoria & Arlen- Foxtrot

When Victoria was eleven she developed two neurological conditions and became incredibly ill.  She had seizures every two to five minutes.  She heard a doctor tell her parents that they needed to make their peace with the fact that she wouldn’t recover.  She slowly started to regain her hands and her ability to speak.  The one thing that never came back was her legs.  Many specialists said she wouldn’t walk again, but she kept working at it.  Val choreographed an awesome dance with her starting in her wheelchair and eventually stepping out to dance.

  • Carrie Ann- 9
  • Len- 9
  • Bruno- 9

The two couples in jeopardy tonight are Nick and Peta and Derek and Sharna.  Derek and Sharna got eliminated.  No hard feelings or anything, I just hate Carrie Ann and I completely blame her for all of her stupid judging and dumb scores.  So the rest of this season is dumb, but I think I’m team Lindsey or Jordan now, but for the record I think they are both already dancers professionally so…. that’s not really fair.  So, maybe I’m team Victoria?

Next week is Disney week which is 100% better than most memorable year week.

 

Dancing with the Stars- Guilty Pleasures Week

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Dancing with the Stars Recaps / Uncategorized

This week is guilty pleasures week so we get to find out what each star’s guilty little pleasure is.  They do start the show with a dedication to the families of the victims in Las Vegas, which was truly such a horrific tragedy.

Good news– no elimination this week!

Drew & Emma- Argentine Tango

Drew’s guilty pleasure is watching detective TV shows.  They do a cute lie detector bit after rehearsals and then a fun Argentine Tango with some great lifts.  The judges are impressed and really, he looked like a dancer this week.

  • Carrie Ann- 8
  • Len- 7
  • Bruno- 8

Sharna & Derek- Cha Cha

Derek’s favorite rerun TV show to watch is Fresh Prince of Bel Air.  This is a fun cha cha to the theme song complete with the outfits.  Derek does great and this week Carrie Ann is finally happy that he is taking the space up correctly and he is finally getting horizontal.

  • Carrie Ann-7
  • Len-7
  • Bruno-7

Victoria & Val- Quick Step

Victoria had a hard time in high school. She was a new girl and in a wheelchair.  People thought she was weird because she was different.  Len reminds everyone after their fabulous quick step that hey, if you are in school and you see someone who is a little bit different, don’t be an ass.  Wise words.

  • Carrie Ann- 8
  • Len- 7
  • Bruno- 7

Vanessa & Alan- Jazz

Vanessa’s guilty pleasure is hanging with her girls.  This routine is done to Girls Just Wanna Have Fun and includes the troupe girls in frilly dresses.  Len loved it.  He couldn’t tell which was the star in the beginning part and in hold it got even better.  Bruno loved it too.  Leave it to Carrie Ann to be the bearer of bad news.  She says she had two wobbles and her mount getting into lift wasn’t perfect.

  • Carrie Ann- 7
  • Len- 8
  • Bruno- 8

Nikki & Artem- Viennese Waltz

Nikki says she is obsessed with romance.  Artem gives her several examples and she says no to all of them.  No, no, she means 50 shades of grey.  I see why Artem was confused.  After their extremely steamy dance, they bring out John Cena to see what he thought of it.  Len’s comment is my favorite, “I wasn’t exactly transported to old Vienna.”

  • Carrie Ann- 7
  • Len- 7
  • Bruno- 7

Frankie & Whitney- Samba

Frankie loved boy bands and this week he is dancing to NSYNC.  Frankie says when he was 13 all he wanted was to be in a boy band.  Nick Lachey gives him a tip about getting a perfect face.  It’s a combination of taking a poop and pure ecstasy.  That’s a great example of what those faces looked like.  Let me just say, I feel like he has practiced some of those boy band moves in front of a mirror before.  All the judges agree that the boy band parts were confident and great and the Samba was a bit less confident and good.

  • Carrie Ann- 7
  • Len- 7
  • Bruno-7

Lindsey & Mark- Jive

She tells Mark that it’s been a rough week.  Her relationship of a year and a half just came to an end and she’s happy to have a distraction.  Her guilty pleasure is staying in her pajamas all day long.  That’s my kinda girl right there.  We could be friends.  They dance to Wake Me Up Before You Gogo.  Tom tells Mark it was hands down the best pajama jive he’s ever seen.  Len calls it the dance of the season.  Carrie Ann says it will go down as one of the best dances ever.

  • Carrie Ann- 9
  • Len- 9
  • Bruno- 9

That’s the highest score of the season, folks.

Sasha & Gleb- Jazz

They danced to Sugar Pie Honeybunch and throw flour and other ingredients around.  This didn’t really showcase her ability to dance, according to Len.  I happen to agree.  They did have great chef hats though so bonus points for that.

  • Carrie Ann- 7
  • Len- 6
  • Bruno- 6

Nick & Peta- Jazz

Nick’s guilty pleasure is romantic comedies.  They dance to Jump by the Pointer Sisters.  For some reason they wear horrible 80’s workout clothes and do an aerobic-ish routine.  I don’t understand how loving romantic comedies translates to that, but ok.

  • Carrie Ann- 7
  • Len- 7
  • Bruno- 7

Terrell & Cheryl- Salsa

Terrell’s guilty pleasure is breakdancing. Cheryl says thank goodness they are dancing Salsa and not actually breakdance or they would be eliminated immediately.  I don’t know, as a partnership I just think maybe Cheryl doesn’t like Terrell.  I can’t tell.  Len says it’s not a touchdown, but they are in the red zone.  Carrie Ann freaks out because it was so good minus that one boo boo.  Erin asks about what he thought besides the boo boo.  He’s an athlete so all he can see is the boo boo.

  • Carrie Ann- 7
  • Len- 7
  • Bruno- 7

Jordan & Lindsay- Charleston

Let me just say, anytime they say Charleston I get excited.  Anytime Lindsay is choreographing a Charleston, I get thrilled.  Jordan’s guilty pleasure is comic books.  They are crime fighting superheroes.  There are plenty of Bams and Kapows and awesome costumes put to the theme of The Incredibles.  It was fantastic.  Lindsay’s bright blue eyeshadow is less fantastic.  Carrie Ann was almost speechless (which would have been great, oops did I say that), but mostly she loved it.  Len is here to tell us that it had very little Charleston.  His score definitely reflects his opinion.

  • Carrie Ann- 9
  • Len- 7
  • Bruno- 9

So basically Len thinks that Jordan’s dance was the same score as Terrell’s.  Ok, Len.  Len must have missed his early bird supper before this.  CRANKY.

No dancing Tuesday night so they will be back next Monday!

Dancing with the Stars- Episode 3

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Dancing with the Stars Recaps / Uncategorized

 

Nikki Bella & Artem- Samba

Nikki is upset and awkward having to rub all over Artem, which really endears her to me more because I could never, ever do that.  She’s been with John Cena for five years and she hasn’t danced with another man during that time.  Plus she’s worried John might murder Artem, ok she didn’t say that.  To help her feel more comfortable Artem has her wear a hair tie wrapped around her whole body and he goes topless and covered in oil.  Tom wins the night with his comment that Artem hasn’t had a carbohydrate in 12 years.  Len didn’t need all that gyrating.  Technique was a bit lacking which is why the judges were so rough with the scores.

  • Carrie Ann- 6
  • Len-6
  • Bruno- 6

Victoria & Val- Rumba

In rehearsal Val introduces Victoria to her hips.  Everything about this is foreign and weird.  Her and Val acted out a romantic and emotional dance.  Bruno loved it.  Carrie Ann said it was authemtic and unique.  Len hated everything about it.  It lacked all Rhumba moves.  Len is not impressed, but oh, Happy Birthday!  Upstairs they have a cake and tiara for her.  Oh and flowers from Taylor Swift.

  • Carrie Ann- 7
  • Len- 6
  • Bruno- 7

Derek & Sharna-Paso Doble

Sharna and Derek dress in ornate red.  He learns how to get into character and imagine Sharna as an opponent instead of a teammate.  He looks crisp and Carrie Ann is happy because he got horizontal. Len said some bla bla bla and Bruno liked it mostly but gave some critiques.  Erin had to know if he was picturing a basketball player that he would go up against.  He says he did play one on one with Kobe a lot and he channeled some of that competitive energy.

  • Carrie Ann- 7
  • Len- 6
  • Bruno- 6

UGGGGHH.  Why such low scores?

Sasha & Gleb- Samba

She opens up about her struggle of gaining 70 pounds in two years and how evil so many people were.  She was recently diagnosed with PCOS so she has an answer and a reason now.  She plays the prom queen and Gleb plays the prom king.  Len loved it.  She did a good job he says.  Bruno says she had really great foot placement, but he needs more va-va-voom.  Carrie Ann says she had the bounce, the technique, and the flair!

Related image

  • Carrie Ann- 8
  • Len- 7
  • Bruno- 7

Nick & Peta- Argentine Tango

Vanessa gives him a pep talk that it’s time to bring out the sexy face.  Bruno tells him that he told him before that you CAN NOT STEP A TANGO, YOU MUST GLIDE A TANGO.

Image result for miss congeniality im gliding here

Carrie Ann says he is too tight in his hips.  Len starts out by saying that he’s a kind guy.  Uh oh.  The passion was missing?  Then some girls screamed and he ‘lost his flow’.  But the gist of it was learn the dance, learn the steps, then learn the character.  Nick says he’s going to just steal the 6 paddles so they never come out again.  Good plan, Nick.

  • Carrie Ann- 7
  • Len-6
  • Bruno-6

Jordan & Lindsay- Samba

He is pumped to learn samba, oh and he knows what samba is which is what makes me think he’s not exactly brand new to dancing.  I’m not gonna lie though, he totally killed it.  Seriously, it was a phenomenal dance.  It doesn’t hurt that Lindsay is phenomenal and a great choreographer too.  Len says he is getting a peculiar leg action due to the Cuban heels he is wearing and the fact that he isn’t practicing in them.  Ok, noted.

  • Carrie Ann- 8
  • Len- 8
  • Bruno- 8

Drew & Emma- Rumba

First off, I love that Tom referred to him as a recent spray tan victim.  Emma gets him all sprayed up and puts him in an open button up shirt. Drew tells Bruno he asked for the Bruno color.  Len says it was his best dance yet, after trying to make a complicated metaphor about the yard looking good, but not the house yet.  Carrie Ann says some had more dance experience than others and she could tell he had very little, which makes Bruno laugh so hard that he falls off of his chair.  Who else thinks the judges take shots during commercials?

  • Carrie Ann- 7
  • Len- 7
  • Bruno- 7

Debbie & Alan- Argentine Tango

This was a solid performance that included dancing on the piano.  Len called her a strumpet.  He said it was steamy and her best dance yet.  Mostly the critiques are that she needs to work on her feet, but Carrie Ann says it’s the energy from the hips all the way down.

  • Carrie Ann- 7
  • Len- 7
  • Bruno- 7

Vanessa & Maks- Salsa

Vanessa says she used to go out dancing with her friends and so she thought she could dance.  Now, she’s in her thirties and is a mom and she’s not so sure.  Maks is gonna whip her into shape though.  Carrie Ann says her favorite word, fierce so I guess she liked it.  Len says she is 100% a contender for this show.  Bruno says she outshowed Maks, which is hard to do, but she did lose her balance a tiny bit at the end and he can’t overlook it.

  • Carrie Ann- 8
  • Len- 8
  • Bruno- 7

Terrell & Cheryl- Samba

His relationship status is like Kraft cheese- single.  What he lacks in a lady friend he makes up for with confidence, or maybe it’s arrogance.  He is sexy and he knows it.  They do a hose monkey themed dance with a firetruck and it’s to Hot in Here.  Carrie Ann says he is for sure a crowd favorite and definitely sexy, but he needs to take up more room when dancing.  I think what she means is he needs to be more horizontal.

  • Carrie Ann- 6
  • Len- 6
  • Bruno- 7

Lindsey & Mark- Salsa

She says two weeks ago her hips didn’t do any of these things!  She’s definitely gonna put them in her wheelhouse of flirtatious material for the future though.  I think she looks pretty good out there in a fast salsa all over the floor.  She ends in the splits.  Bruno says she is a firecracker.  Carrie Ann agrees completely.  Len tells Mark he appreciates that it was straight into the routine; no messing about.

  • Carrie Ann- 8
  • Len- 8
  • Bruno- 8

Frankie & Witney- Cha Cha

Frankie wants to be here.  He only dances for five hours a day for rehearsal, but he spends 14 hours preparing and recovering.  He is thankful he’s here and he is just completely loving it.  He says I’m sure there are others who are less devoted than me, send them home!  He is just so enthusiastic and fun to watch.  Carrie Ann tells him he has swagger which makes him blush.  Len says no hanky panky Frankie, that was a teriffic routine.  Bruno compliments Witney on her fantastic choreography.

  • Carrie Ann- 8
  • Len- 8
  • Bruno- 9

That’s the first 9 of the season folks!  He stinkin’ earned it too.  Great dance and great attitude.  I might even give him a vote or two.

The couples who are in jeopardy are: Nick & Peta and Debbie & Alan.  Everyone else is safe and coming back next week.

Debbie & Alan are leaving.  Debbie says this show and Alan helped her get her life back.  Aww, good for you Debbie!

Tuesday Things: The Twenty-Fourth Edition

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Tuesday Things

It’s been so long since I did an edition of Tuesday Things that I figured it was time.  I have about 15 random little blog post ideas in my brain so I thought I’d fling a few of them into a Tuesday Things post!  Hopefully you enjoy it.

New Clucks on the Farm

We got two new hens for the farm, Zsa Zsa and Marilyn.  I don’t wanna say some chickens are less productive, but miss Marilyn is by far the most productive.  Out of 18 eggs, an average of 11 are hers.

Here is miss Zsa Zsa Gabor:

Zsa Zsa

And my super duper egg producer, Marilyn Monroe:

Marilyn

So if you’re keeping track, that means we have Betty Graebel, Rita Hayworth, Zsa Zsa Gabor, and Marilyn Monroe.  I’m enjoying my shickens for sure!

Dressed up Fancy

If there’s one thing I love, it’s a cop wedding.  We had us a grand old time at a wedding on Saturday night.  I think we looked pretty dang nice too, plus we got to spend time with good friends.  P.S. This picture is at the end of the night, hence Tom’s smile.

wang wedding t and a

Here’s a pic of a couple fav wives and I!

wang wedding wives

Winter is Coming

It is true.  It’s time to stock up on our pantry items, make sure the generator is prepared, get some non-freezing water dishes for the animals, get new heat bulbs, get their food ready.

One thing is for sure, the goats will be eating this winter.

hay

My Crafty Husband

Tom had a vision.  For less than a hundred dollars, he was able to transform this hot water heater into a fuel pump yard art piece.  I think it looks amazing.  I’m impressed.

texaco

 

The End of an Era

Sad news, friends.  Chip and Joanna Gaines are ending the show Fixer Upper after this season, their fifth.  They have so many different irons in the fire; I know this isn’t the last of them, but I completely get them not wanting to be on TV as their kids keep growing up.  Their ratings were high enough that I feel confident there will be Fixer Upper re-runs on HGTV for years, which is good.  It’s one of my favorite sick lay on the couch shows.

But… they are partnering with Target with their new Hearth and Hand with Magnolia brand.  November 5th the items will be in stores and most items promise to be under $30.  This is good news, friends.

 

These are just a few of the happenings around here that I wanted to share, I will certainly do my best to share more as my energy and health allow.

Keep smilin’, y’all!

 

 

Dancing with the Stars- Episode 2

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Dancing with the Stars Recaps / Uncategorized

Two nights of dancing with an elimination each night!

Debbie Gibson & Alan- Quick Step

Debbie is gorgeous in blue and quick steps all over the floor.  You would think she is perfectly healthy.  I was impressed.  Len says there was speed, but the control was lacking a bit.

  • Len-7
  • Bruno-6
  • Carrie Ann-7

 

Nikki Bella & Artem- Waltz

Nikki is in a gorgeous flowy periwinkle dress.  She basically looks nothing like that tough chick throwing Artem around last week.  The dance under a starry sky, which I always think is cool.

  • Len- 7
  • Bruno- 7
  • Carrie Ann-7

 

Lindsey Stirling & Mark- Quick Step

Lindsey wears a gross dark smock but dances into a big green thing and emerges as a butterfly. Really the dress is like a monarch butterfly. She whirls around through flowers. Truly, the scores were a bit low.

  • Len- 7
  • Bruno- 7
  • Carrie Ann- 7

Barbara Corcoran & Keo- Tango

Len says she is better this week.  Carrie Ann says her natural elegance arrived tonight.  I prefer this to watching her shake her money maker.

  • Len-5
  • Bruno-6
  • Carrie Ann-6

 

Nick Lachey & Peta- Foxtrot

Barry Manilow helps this situation for sure. Really, I think it was pretty good, but the judges are loving those 6 paddles tonight.

  • Len- 6
  • Bruno- 6
  • Carrie Ann- 7

 

Drew Scott & Emma- Quick Step

Drew did an adorable little quick dance.  Emma is quite the teacher. I definitely see improvement, despite the injury he got to his hamstring yesterday.  Carrie Ann says he’s a bit lanky.  Bruno says it was a fantastic luxury performance.  I didn’t hear what Len said, but everyone booed.

  • Len- 6
  • Carrie Ann- 7
  • Bruno- 7

 

Vanessa Lachey & Maks- Foxtrot

During rehearsals we see an injury.  The heel of her shoe caught her toe nail and ripped it back.  One of her pretty little red toe nails is covered in blood.  Bruno said it was like watching Ava Gardner combined with Jessica Rabbit.  Len kept it short and sweet with simply, “well Maks, I liked it.”

  • Len- 8
  • Carrie Ann- 8
  • Bruno- 8

 

Frankie Muniz  & Witney- Tango

Malcolm impressed with a quick and dramatic tango.  He didn’t miss a step.  Len says it was a bit over aggressive. He says just to be able to be there and dance he is doing physical therapy, cryotherapy, sauna, icing, and yoga. Keep it up, Malcolm! I’m enjoying watching.

  • Len- 7
  • Carrie Ann- 8
  • Bruno- 8

 

Terrell Owens & Cheryl- Foxtrot

Terrell is bothered by his scores.  He says he only got one point more than Barbara and he knows he is at least more than one point better than her.  During rehearsals he throws a few little tantrums and Cheryl isn’t having it.  He says he’s never had any dance training.  She says boo hoo, stop feeling sorry for yourself.  Bruno calls it a sextrot straight into the bedroom.  Len says it was a bit too raunchy for him.  Tom says last week he thinks he was at a disadvantage because he went first.  Then a debate starts and I point out that hey, someone has to go first.

  • Len- 6
  • Carrie Ann- 7
  • Bruno- 7

Sasha & Gleb- Viennese Waltz

Their whole time in rehearsals they work on mostly her ballroom face.  Len thinks she has a good position in hold. Bruno is upset by her free hand; it was too ‘karate-choppy’. Carrie thinks her arms were great.  Tom reminds her to never confuse ballroom face with Mark Ballas face.

  • Len- 8
  • Bruno- 7
  • Carrie Ann- 8

Victoria Arlen & Val- Tango

This girl is tough.  I am impressed by her everything. Now, remember she can’t feel her legs at all.  She comes out in a sexy slinky white satin dress and totally crushes it.   Len says he liked the drama and the intensity of the dance and it was a super duper dance. Erin asks how she is doing it and she says she doesn’t know.  “Two years ago my legs didn’t move and now they are tango-ing!”

  • Len-  8
  • Bruno- 8
  • Carrie Ann- 8

Derek Fisher & Sharna– Foxtrot

Derek’s mama and daddy show up to rehearsals and mom gets to dance on the dancing with the stars stage with her son.  They do an ADORABLE dance that is choreographed perfectly of course.  Carrie Ann tells him he dances a little small.  Sharna looks confused, as we all are. Carrie says it needs to be more horizontal.  Len says he needs a bit of technique.  Bruno liked it, but a bit of finesse needed.  Len says he can’t wait to see his Paso Doble tomorrow.  To point out- they got 2 points more than Barbara which is completely ridiculous considering his only critiques were a bit more finesse and to be more horizontal.

  • Len- 6
  • Bruno- 7
  • Carrie Ann- 6

Who else is reminded of the FRIENDS episode when Joey auditions and gets told he was too horizontal and he needs to be more vertical?

Jordan Fisher & Lindsay- Foxtrot

Now, my mom does point out that this kiddo is from Broadway so it’s possible he’s learned a tiny bit of dance before.  They have tons of critiques for him, although he scores the fancy 8 paddles.

  • Len- 8
  • Bruno- 8
  • Carrie Ann- 8

Barbara and Keo and Terrell and Cheryl are both in jeopardy.  Everyone else is safe to dance Tuesday night. To no one’s surprise, Barbara goes home. I think mostly she will miss Keo.

Tune in tonight for round two!

 

The Frustration of Mental Energy

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All of last week was frustrating.  I just hate not having the physical energy to get things done.  We’re talking such fatigue that truly showers were difficult.  Most days included eating and watching TV.  Sometimes reading was even too much focus required.

Do you know how annoying it is when you look on Facebook or Pinterest and see a fun project and when it’s time to get up to get the paint out, you’re already out of energy?  I hate that.  Each day felt like a loss because I honestly accomplished only the survival things.  Did I work on my cross stitch? No.  Did I paint the stool I wanted to? No. Did I organize my decorations in my work room? No.  Did I work on painting a few little furniture pieces I got? No.  UGGGH.  Did I write any of my blog posts that are floating around in my head (and on my electronic to-do lists)? No.

My victory was that I did finally accomplish one tiny project that got to burn a little of my creative energy.  Nothing super duper amazing, but to me it was just enough to give me a little relief and feel a tiny bit better.

Fall painting

If you look, you’ll see I signed the painting ‘Tom’s wife’.  The Bob Ross episode that I was following along with mentioned signatures.  Bob said that the most interesting signature that he saw was an elderly lady in Alaska and she signed her paintings as ‘Grandpa’s Wife’.  I thought that was pretty cute.  Yes, I know that I am my own person, but being Tom’s wife is something that I’m pretty proud of and I’m really honored to get to be his.

Fall is finally here and I’m just pretty dang ready.  I’m in the mood for football (college, not Sunday political day), hockey, chili, spicy soups, pumpkin everything, bonfires, new TV episodes and shows, season two of Stranger Things, comfy blankies and sweaters, boots, and so much more!

This picture is just a little reminder of a happy time of year that I love.

Dancing with the Stars: Episode 1

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Dancing with the Stars Recaps

I had enough people mention interest in me recapping Dancing with the Stars, so I figured I would.  I’ll be watching anyway.

Let me start by telling you the facts.  Sharna is the best and I always root and vote for her and I tolerate no bad comments about Sharna.  So, now that the facts are out there… I can probably be mostly objective for the rest.

Since they only have two hours and thirteen couples, only one judge gets to talk for each dance.  That went exactly how you can imagine.

disco ball

Terrell Owens & Cheryl- Cha Cha

They put on copious amounts of glitter and hit the floor for a slow and cautious cha cha.  I don’t have the love for Cheryl that some of the steadfast DWTS fans do, but I think this will be a good match up.  If you have watched before, you know that some football players can really dance!

  • Carrie Ann- 5
  • Len- 5
  • Bruno- 5

Debbie Gibson & Alan- Foxtrot

She is a singer/songwriter from the 80’s.  I already like her because four years ago she was diagnosed with Lyme disease.  She says showing up is a victory for her and believe me, I get that.  Some days her muscles hurt so much that practice is almost impossible.  I am already proud of her.  She wears a gorgeous silver backless dress and floats about the dance floor.  This is Alan’s first year as an official pro!

  • Carrie Ann- 6
  • Len- 5
  • Bruno- 6

Sasha Peterson & Gleb- Cha Cha

Sasha is an actress from Pretty Little Liars.  She is getting in shape for her upcoming wedding.  Dancing is gonna do that for sure.  She and Gleb are both covered in blue sequins.  Carrie Ann thinks she looks like she is feeling fierce, so I suppose that is a good sign.

  • Carrie Ann-6
  • Len-6
  • Bruno-6

Drew Scott & Emma- Foxtrot

Drew is from the show Property Brothers on HGTV.  He is lucky enough to get Emma who is the current champ and holder of the mirror ball.  His twin brother tells us that Drew has zero dance moves.  Enter Emma.  Len starts with ‘Drew if you were a house, you would be fixer upper.’  Yikes.  Mostly he is a foot taller than Emma and just a tiny bit awkward.

  • Carrie Ann- 6
  • Len- 5
  • Bruno- 5

Barbara Corcoran & Keo- Salsa

If you don’t recognize the name, she is from Shark Tank.  First off, I’m worried because she is with Keo and he typically gets eliminated first, but it doesn’t matter because she is in love with Keo.  She is covered in gold and dances to shake your money maker, which is well, a little odd.  Bruno is jumping around critiquing and Barbara interrupts to ask, “who is this guy?”  Len says, “all that glitters isn’t gold.” Something tells me the song didn’t help with Len’s score at all.

  • Carrie Ann- 5
  • Len- 4
  • Bruno- 5

Jordan Fisher & Lyndsay- Tango

This guy is apparently on Broadway and is 23, which excites Lyndsay because she has never had a partner the same age as her.  He says he is a fan of hers and wants to help her get a mirrorball this year.  She points out that her track record is 4th place, 3rd place, then 2nd place.  Could this be her year?  Carrie Ann raves about the dance and says they are a partnership to watch.  I agree.

  • Carrie Ann- 8
  • Len- 7
  • Bruno- 7

Nick Lachey & Peta- Cha Cha

Nick’s brother Drew won a mirrorball in season two, so the pressure is on!  He points out that while he was in fact in a boy band, 98 degrees, it was the non-dancing boy band.  Peta looks stupid good in a teal glitter outfit that leaves nothing to the imagination.  Didn’t she just have a baby a minute ago?  These two are going up against their spouses, Vanessa and Maks.

  • Carrie Ann- 6
  • Len- 6
  • Bruno- 6

Vanessa Lachey & Maks- Cha Cha

Well she is just adorable.  She is fun and makes fun of herself so I already like her.  In all black they take to the floor and do a dance that includes strollers and Maks is wearing a baby at the beginning.  Is the baby named Carlos though? (name that movie!)  I am excited to watch this couple battle so I hope they all escape elimination for a while.

  • Carrie Ann- 7
  • Len- 7
  • Bruno- 7

Frankie Muniz & Witney- Foxtrot

Whoa.  Malcolm grew up.  He is embarrassed every time she compliments him.  This will be fun.  He wears a classy grey suit and she is in a flowy pink dress.  He looked a little nervous, which just makes it better.  He says his heart has been beating crazy fast for three weeks.  Witney calls him Agent Cody Banks, which just reminds us all that she is so young that she doesn’t even remember him as Malcolm.

  • Carrie Ann- 7
  • Len- 6
  • Bruno- 6

Nikki Bella & Artem- Tango

She is a WWE tough chick engaged to John Cena, which you would think would encourage Artem to stare at her butt less.  She is used to being in the ring and being strong.  Artem says he’s gonna teach her to follow, not lead.  She body slams him at the end of their dance so that is appropriate.  Len says she looks down too much.  She’s gonna work on it.

  • Carrie Ann- 7
  • Len- 7
  • Bruno- 6

Derek Fisher & Sharna- Salsa

Sharna says that notoriously basketball players haven’t done well on DWTS, but she’s gonna try to change that.  If anyone can, it is her.  Derek Facetimes his mom and dad to tell them the news of DWTS.  Mom screams and reminds him that Len watches the feet.  Mom is smart.  They dress in Lakers gear and salsa to some sort of song about Basketball.  When is there going to be a hockey player on this show? Asking for a friend.  Sharna’s hair is somehow more red and more fantastic than ever.

  • Carrie Ann- 6
  • Len- 6
  • Bruno- 6

Victoria Arlen & Val- Cha Cha

She was paralyzed for ten years.  She was in a wheelchair for ten years and learned to walk just one year ago.  Talk about not giving up.  She has been given the gift of Val this season.  She sobs after the dance.  Carrie Ann says her performance was joyous.  She’s gonna be one to watch.

  • Carrie Ann- 7
  • Len- 6
  • Bruno- 6

Lindsey Stirling & Mark- Cha Cha

Lindsey is a fantastic violinist.  She gets to have the choreographer wizard, Mark Ballas.  She looks like a performer for sure.  She has great facial expressions and really crisp movements.  Color me impressed.  Another couple to watch for sure.  Len calls it the dance of the night.

  • Carrie Ann- 7
  • Len- 8
  • Bruno- 7

 

Next week two eliminations, one on Monday and one on Tuesday night.  So tell me, who are you rooting for right out of the gate?  Is Keo going to make it through next week? Is Sharna going to win her first mirrorball this year?

 

 

 

 

 

Bachelor in Paradise: Finale & New Bachelor Preview

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Bachelor in Paradise Recaps / Uncategorized

It’s time for father Chris to sit the kids down and have a talk.  It’s time to decide.  Do you want to leave as a couple and try to make this work in the world?  Or do you leave as a single?  There is the option if you are staying a couple to stay in paradise and go on one more date with the option of a fantasy suite.  Talk amongst yourselves, the SUVS are waiting, y’all.

The guys and girls break up to do the obligatory chats.  Guys decide there are going to be tough conversations.  Girls come to the same conclusion.

  • Jack Stone tells the camera that he could see himself marrying Christen and falling in love.  She could be the one.  He steals Christen to chat.  He asks if they can leave as a couple.  She freaks out a bit and says she can’t leave as a couple with him because they are mostly just acquaintances.  Ouch, not even friends.  He starts over.  Let’s leave as friends holding hands.  She says friends don’t hold hands.  Jack walks silently to the suv and says NOTHING.  Christen wanders into the sea.
    • What about all those times y’all made out?  Do friends do that Christen? – AMY
  • Lacey and Daniel chat.  She says she wants to go on the date with him.  He says he’s not done with her just yet.  They wander off kissing.
  • Jasmine and Jonathan chat.  Jonathan says she’s cool and fun, but lets part ways here.  She agrees.
  • Adam and Raven talk.  Adam wants to keep this going.  He thinks they have some potential.  Raven is a bit worried about getting her hopes up, but she agrees to stay and see what happens.
  • Dean and D-Lo talk.  Dean says that D-Lo is really great and special and fun, but he realized after the rose ceremony that he still has feelings for Kristina and he loves her and he owes it to her to leave separately so he can talk to Kristina.  He apologizes for being an idiot, which seems fitting.  He cries to the camera that everything he had with Kristina was so pure and real and he ruined it.  D-Lo is bummed.  She liked him.  They leave separately.
  • Diggy steals Domonique to chat.  Diggy says after thinking about it he think the best situation for them is to leave separately.
  • Jaimi walks up to Diggy and he says that he really enjoyed getting to know her and wants to leave as a couple.  She says she had a good date, but they should leave as friends.  Diggy is bummed.
  • Robby and Amanda talk.  Robby says that he is fine with being patient and going slow for Amanda.  He wants to find what his parents have.  He sits her down to talk and she instantly starts crying and says she feels bad, but she doesn’t see this working in the real world.  She tells him he did nothing wrong, but isn’t willing to try.  He leaves feeling appropriately confused.

The final three couples who are left staying to try to make it work are Raven & Adam, Lacey & Daniel, and Derek & Taylor.  Chris tells them to do some soul searching and enjoy their dates.  He dramatically mentions the fantasy suite card, like they haven’t all been spending the nights together in the bungalows.

Daniel Quotes

  • Jack isn’t walking with his normal swagger; that’s more like a killer jack walk.
  • There’s plenty of scallops in the sea.  Jack wasn’t her scallop.
  • You ready for Fourth of July in my pants?
  • So are we talking changing Facebook status?

Lacey and Daniel go into the hotel and their fancy suite to chat.  They talk about how they both want to leave in a relationship.  I kind of thought this was a pretend relationship, but it’s actually really cute.  Daniel puts the DO NOT DISTURB card on the door and closes it with a big smile on his face.

*****

Derek and Taylor chat.  Daniel says he’s falling for her and she isn’t quite ready to reciprocate those feelings.  She says sex is a really big part of this process for her.  He says he is excited to get to know her in that way.  So apparently they actually have waited for the fantasy suite.  And with that, Derek closes the door.

*****

Adam tells Raven how humbled by this experience he is.  He says he can see himself falling for her and she gets a big smile and giggles.  She tells the camera she is hesitant to fall for him because she has been burned before.  She doesn’t want to ruin anything by spending the night with him too soon, but she also doesn’t want to ruin anything by not spending the night either.  The camera pulls away before she answers his question of the suite.

Studio Live Finale

What happened with the three couples?  Are they still together?  Will there be any proposals tonight?

The whole cast is here.  Chris introduces everyone and the person who gets the most cheers is Kristina, because America knows something good when they see it!

Corinne comes out first.  She says she hasn’t seen him since everything, but she would love to.  They bring out DeMario.  They chat.  Where are they going from this?  Therapy.  They both say that therapy has helped a bunch.  They are all good, y’all.  Calm yourselves.

Chris asks Jasmine about her dislike of Christen.  It’s just random bla bla yelling.  Apparently she was mean on social media.  I don’t know.

He asks Kristina how she is feeling.  She can relate to how Jasmine felt when Christen took Matt on a date.  She felt like D-Lo wasn’t very respectful.  D-Lo says she thinks a lot was being miscommunicated. Dean interrupts them both to say they have no reason fighting with each other because it all falls on him.  Oooh, is mature Dean here today?  Too soon to tell.

Chris points out that Dean looks like the most uncomfortable person in the world right now.  The solution is obviously the hot seat.  Come on up.

We watch it all back.  Dean says he’s sorry to both of them.  Kristina says she cares for him still, but enough is enough.  D-Lo speaks up to say that she watched him crying and saying he loved Kristina but an hour after paradise he called her and they were hanging out after.  Oh shoot, Dean.  Dean says this is true, he continued stringing them both along after paradise too.  It’s very awkward in the studio.  Finally it ends with a good luck to you bud from Chris.  So… there’s that.

Amanda comes out to say that the weekend after paradise she and Robby hung out and he asked her to be his girlfriend.  She said yes to give it a try.  Chris says so you’re dating then now? She confirms oh no, not now.  She says she gave him about 20 chances and she felt like he only hung out with her when it was convenient for him.  He comes out to address rumors of him being unfaithful to her.  The twins says there was a picture of him with another girl in Colorado.  He says he was close to another girl, but not being unfaithful.  Amanda says it looks like they were making out.  She says you say you weren’t so I believe you, but it looked like it.  Either way, they know they want different things now so that is over.

Time to talk to Lacey.  Things were bad at first, but then Daniel showed up.  Turns out they met a year ago at Vinny’s birthday party and hooked up, but stayed good friends.  So she was excited to give it a real try in paradise.  Weird that neither of them mentioned this during paradise.  Hmmm.  She says during the fantasy suite it came to light that he was lying about his feelings for her.  She asked him and he told the truth that he was lying about what he said before on camera about falling for her.  Daniel comes out and when asked said they had a nice relaxing evening in the fantasy suite.  Chris asked what they talked about.  Oh, that.  Ya. It was all confusing.  Then he told the producer that Lacey likes him a lot, but he would never really turn his Facebook status to in a relationship with Lacey.

Oh no.  Daniel brings up that he told her to come to Vancouver.  She says you’re telling half the story.  Apparently he went to New York to visit her for 6 days and spent one hour total with her alone.  It was very important to spend time with Vinny.  She said if he felt the way about her that he feels about Vinny this wouldn’t be a problem.

Lacey & Daniel Status: NOT TOGETHER (Lacey even quotes and we are never ever ever getting back together.)

Let’s check in on Adam and Raven.  We see their morning after fantasy suite.  Raven says Adam woke up way too happy.  He is a morning person and she is not!  That’s a problem they’re gonna have she says.  She tells him she can’t imagine ever fighting with him because he’s too sweet.  Awww

They say they’ve stayed together since the show and have traveled a bunch together and are in love.

Chris: What’s next?

Raven: I’m meeting his family this weekend.

Chris: Has he meet yours yet?

Raven: No, but it will happen soon.

Chris: When?

Raven: Now. Mom and dad?

So they bring out the parents.  Oh, ABC, so clever.

Raven & Adam status: Still together and saying the L-word

Time to see how Derek and Taylor are.

I saw a commercial showing an engagement ring… so me thinks Derek might be proposing to Taylor. – Amy

Looks like they are happy and in love.  Awww.  Yay.  We see the after the fantasy suite and they seem all happy.  Shocker.

Taylor tells the camera “I got to like, really take all of Derek in last night.”

Image result for i see what you did there meme

We talk about after they left.  He went to Seattle for three weeks.  They are still together, but he lives in Iowa.  He says lots of cute and nice things and gets down on one knee and proposes.  She cries a whole big bunch and says yes.  Rose petals fall from heaven (or the rafters) and all is right in paradise world.

ME: BUT WHAT ABOUT WELLS AND DANIELLE?? IS THAT HAPPENING??

Ok, so that ends another season of paradise.  I could not possibly be MORE excited for Arie as bachelor next season.  I was rooting for him seasons ago when Emily didn’t pick him.  He is sarcastic, funny, charming, and if you follow I Hate Green Beans, you know that he has a passionate side.  Lincee has been using one clip of him kissing Emily for years every time someone gets close to the Arie kiss, but no one is ever that good.  Have you seen it?  Ok, fine, I’ll show you.

I can’t wait to watch Arie find love.  I’m sure I’ll recap it for you.

Oh, and Dancing with the Stars starts soon too, so that is exciting and fun to follow along with too.

Hope y’all are having a great week!