Joy. Why? How?

Why is it worth your time to seek out joy? Why bother finding smile-makers, as I call them?

There are numerous health benefits from smiling and laughing such as:

  • Reducing stress and anxiety
  • Releasing endorphins “Endorphins make you happy. Happy people just don’t shoot their husbands.” – Name that movie
  • Relaxing muscles
  • Decreasing pain

These are just a few as there are lists and lists of supposed health benefits from laughing and smiling, most of which I can buy into.

You get to choose. You don’t have to choose joy. You can be pissed. You can scream. You can be mad at God. You can have a pity party. You can start ignoring people and cut off contact. You can get fall-down drunk (have fun with that with your POTS). You can focus on all the things you ‘used to be able to do’ and ‘all the things you wish you could do’. One thing I know for sure is that those options do nothing for you. Wish everything was ‘back to normal’ as much as you want, but it won’t change anything. All it does is get you spending energy on the uncontrollable and cements the fact that you have no ability to direct your life to be how you want it to be. Congratulations, you found another way to feel defeated and lose.

Consider your options. If you agree that choosing laughter and joy is worth your time, keep reading.  

We have to deliberately hunt smiles down sometimes because let’s be honest, it’s really easy to see and feel the bad most days, but that doesn’t matter because remember, we are choosing to look for happiness and laughs.

I want to make it clear that I didn’t exactly skip out of the doctor’s office after getting my diagnosis. No, I basically went through the cycles of grief. I tried pouting. Everything annoyed me and bothered me. Anything encouraging that anyone said just seemed cheap and stupid. I got angry easily. I tried to pretend that I didn’t have anything wrong with me some days. One thing I know for sure is that you can’t fake consciousness when you’re busy being unconscious. I didn’t find any of those tactics to be quite as beneficial as trying out joy.  

Here are some of my personal best tips to keep smiling:

  • Keep your mind busy. I have done logic puzzles every day since I’ve been out of the hospital as a way to distract myself, but still keep my brain engaged.
  • Find a new book or TV series that you enjoy.
  • Try new activities and challenge yourself. I got out of the hospital about six months ago. Since then I’ve learned how to play cribbage, I refinished and distressed a wooden chair (obviously this happened over several sessions and with supervision), I took up acrylic painting, and I have started wood burning. If you don’t know where to start, just go to Pinterest and type in crafts or DIY. You’re sure to find something new and exciting to try.
  • Start silly traditions. My husband and I DVR Jeopardy and we get coffee and watch. It’s silly sure, but it’s something fun to look forward to and we can compete with each other. Of course it’s not really much of a competition because he knows about every war in history and speaking of history, he apparently paid attention in history classes. Oh and previous presidents. The only categories I usually don’t have competition for are anatomy and pop culture. We each have a ‘set answer’ for categories we know we’ll never get. For instance everything French, he says Charles De Gaulle. For me anything pope related I always say Pope John Paul II. It works out occasionally.
  • Get a dog. I know this may not be an option for everyone, but my dogs have made me smile countless times during our all day snuggle sessions.
  • Make someone else smile. Send a sweet text. Mail a happy card to a friend. Taking the focus off of yourself is extremely beneficial.
  • Find a worthy cause to support in some way. If you don’t have money to donate, help publicize and spread awareness, or spend time in prayer for the cause. We all have something to give no matter our condition or status.
  • Get a devotional or journal. A journal is a safe place where you can be honest with yourself about your feelings and frustrations. You don’t have to pretend they don’t exist, just try to spend more time thinking about the good.
  • Make a list of the blessings in your life. Sometimes we get side tracked dealing with nausea, dizziness, fainting, tremors and pain and we forget to notice that we have indoor plumbing. Or that we can afford the ‘good coffee creamer’.
  • Stay social. I know it’s hard. Force yourself to plan one or two events each week where you interact with other people. Whether it’s having a friend over to watch the Bachelor, or getting together for coffee or a meal, it’s worth your time.
  • Set reasonable goals with exciting rewards. Showers are hard. Doing hair and makeup takes incredible effort. Make it something simple like I can have half a cupcake with my coffee if I get it done. Or reward yourself with a latte after physical therapy on hard days. Anything to look forward to and help motivate.
  • Find a sport to love. If you don’t already you’re missing out! I suggest hockey and college football. If you have a team to follow you have something to cheer for and keep up with. It’s a good distraction.
  • Watch a stand-up comedian.
  • Lower your standards and realize your health has changed. Don’t hold yourself to the same expectations as you did before. Your house isn’t going to be as clean and your meal planning and prepping now depends on day to day symptoms.
  • Be honest with yourself and others. If you’re not feeling up to going somewhere be honest and don’t try to force it.

 

 

These are the things that have helped me the most. Tell me, what do you do? How do you stay positive and excited about life?

 

6 Comments

  1. Katie Noble says

    I’m pretty sure “you can’t fake consciousness when you’re busy being unconscious” is a metaphor for all of life. Like someone needs to make that a life quote or meme or something.

    This post also makes me think of the quote that “it is not happy people who are thankful, it is thankful people who are happy.” Life is so all about perspective and focusing on the good and happy is EVERYTHING. Everything, I tell you.

    Like

  2. JD Miller says

    Thank you for the posting. It’s nice to find people who are going through the bad stuff and still working to find their happiness.

    But to answer your question, these are my happiness: snuggling with my children when I cannot get out of bed, my yoga studio – sure I have to modify almost every pose, and bow-out a lot, but heck, I don’t’ mind…if that’s my biggest problem today – that I don’t get to yoga the way I like – then I’m doing good. I find happiness in the fact that I have the opportunity to take care of myself and I find joy in doing that (better late than never)…love my Lavine exercise program (it allowed me to get my dream row machine!) and now I HAVE to exercise, not just when I have time. I try to focus that I may have lost my career, but I’ve gained the opportunity to spend more time with my kids, my husband and my journal. And now I can reinvent myself at the age of 41. How many people get to do that?

    I could go on and on, but I think you nailed it. It’s all about perspective, and how we choose to think about when bad things happen. And what we choose to do about it. Being happy is a choice.

    And when that doesn’t work, I peruse Timber Hawkeye – Buddest Bootcamp, Yoga Journal or Netflix binge on Girls, GOT or some other nonsense…..

    Liked by 1 person

  3. Fern says

    I am really glad I found your blog, this was exactly what I needed to hear. I’ve just been diagnosed with POTS and have had a bunch of statistics and things I can no longer do list given to me which has got me a bit down. I decided today that I really need to move on from feeling sorry for myself as it’s a waste of energy and I need to get on with not missing out with the life I can enjoy. This list is perfect. Thank you!

    Like

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