The Bachelor Arie: Finale Part 1

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Bachelor Recaps / Uncategorized

Cusco, Peru.  Alpacas everywhere.  It’s the perfect place to be proposed to.  Becca is committed.  Nothing about her is a mystery.  Lauren is still reserved or possibly mute.  He’s been peeling back the layers all season.

It’s time to meet Arie’s family.  Lauren is first.  She’s nervous and quiet, but she is wearing a super cute slouchy sweater so I have a good feeling.  The whole family hasn’t been together since little brother’s wedding in Holland.  Every female in the family is blond; I’m already very worried for brunette Becca.

Lauren tells Arie’s dad she is worried that she will get engaged and it won’t work for the third time.

Arie chats with his brother and sister.  She’s wearing a unique cold shoulder and cold cleavage shirt.  Sis asks if they have spent all night talking ever.  Arie replies that it’s a good question, but doesn’t really answer the question.  After all, she has spoken more in this meeting the family than this whole season so far.

It’s Becca’s turn.  Arie’s brother points out that they are aware that ‘yesterday was yesterday and today is today.’  I think he pre-gamed with the wine.  Three minutes in the family has pointed out that she is more outgoing.  Mom has her reservations.  She really liked Lauren.  Essentially, can someone dye Becca’s hair blond, because I think that would magically provide a lot of clarity.  Mom says she would lean more toward… (a producer frantically waves a red flag behind the camera) well, she likes them both and sees it is a tough decision.

Dad takes the time to have a super awkward conversation with Becca.  He brings up Lauren multiple times and says he is fine either way.  Cool.  Becca regrets not bringing that silly joke novelty flask in the drawer at home.  Every single member of the family continues to bring up Lauren over and over.  Becca tells the camera that comparing her and Lauren is like comparing an apple to a starfish.  Was she friends with Lauren in the house?  Did they get along?  Does she feel threatened by her?  Do you think she will look good in their family photos?  Will their blonds clash?

Arie says “I love you so much.”  Becca says “ok.”  She wanders out into the alley to find an alpaca to drink with.

Family gathers around to tell him how much they all think Becca is best for him.  WHAT?!  I evidently read that wrong, but as my friend Michaela texted, Becca read that wrong too.

Arie tells them that at the end of the day he needs those final dates to get clarity.

We break to the studio to see Caroline’s opinion.  She says if the rumors are true, no.  What he did is unforgivable.  Ok, cool.  Can you cut back to the show so I can know what he did too?  Do I reeeeealllly care what her opinion is?

Final Lauren Date

They are hopping on a train to Machu Picchu.  Sadly not hopping a train James Bond style.  Meanwhile, they seem to chat and appear somewhat cute talking about if their dogs would get along.  It makes her seem somewhat more human that she has a dog.  They wander at Machu Picchu in the rain and cold.  They makeout against rock walls.  He falls more and more in love with her everyday.

He says he keeps talking himself out of falling for Lauren, but the more she opens up the more he loves her.  In the evening she tells him that she needs to reassure him about all that she loves about him since he has been so open with her.  What she likes about him is that he reassures her.  I’m too sober for this.

He’s so thankful that he gave her those two dates in a row and forced her to open up.  She talks about their undeniable connection and how she always knows what he is thinking.  I’ve not seen this connection.  He says if he had to propose this second it would be Lauren.

**cut to the studio so we can find out Seinne and Baby Bekah’s opinion.  It’s bla bla bla**

Final Becca Date

He never thought he would be at this point and not know.  He’s hoping by the end of tonight he will have clarity, so he is essentially hoping this goes awful.

They wander through a Peruvian market and laugh together at fun outfits.  They kiss.  They pet baby alpacas.  They seem happy together even though she is not blond.

They sit down for a final big conversation.  He seems super reserved and standoffish.  I’m nervous.

In the evening Becca lights candles in the hotel.  She can’t picture her future without him.  She is worried that he could potentially be in love with two women (spoiler alert.. we already know he is in love with both).  She asks him if he has reservations about anything.  He says yes but kind of mumbles and looks down.  She tells him she is very clearly confident in the two of them and their love.  Arie smiles and says nothing really helpful.

She gives him a scrapbook with a super sweet note that she is ready to do the damn thing with him.

**cut to the studio to Ben H. (who told both women he loved them) and Jason Mesnick (who invented pulling a Mesnick– he picked a girl and switched at the final rose and has been happily married ever since with kiddos)**

The Proposal Day

Fun fact: only the final two girls get free dresses at the end.  ABC only provides makeup and hair people for night one (when there are 25-30 women) and the final night (when there are two women).  The final two get the dresses too.  There has always been a nerdy insider secret that you can tell by the time of day when the girls are getting ready.  In theory the girl who is getting ready later in the day (closer to sunset) is usually the one who gets proposed to.  I think ABC has figured these things out though maybe.

“I’m usually a fairly decisive person.” Arie

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Lauren arrives first.  Damn.  Does this mean in the end he switches back to her after breaking up with her?  I don’t know what to hope.

He tells her it is not her fault.  She says she is really confused but she wishes him the best.  He walks her to the car.  She manages to ask him why he did that.  She says she still loves him.  He says he loves her too.

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Lauren feels betrayed.  She let her guard down (really?).

Chris Harrison wants us to know we are about to watch the first unedited scene in reality tv ever.  I think he might be reaching there a bit.  Really?  Real World on MTV never had an ‘unedited’ scene?  Psssh.

Becca has arrived.  Her dress is amazing.  I’m nervous though.  Is he going to pick her right now and then switch later and break her heart?  She starts by telling him all that she loves about him.  He tells her about how he loves her and gets down on one knee and proposes.  She takes the pretty ring and there is much kissing.

I’m nervous.  I feel like assassins are going to start shooting.  Flash back to Chris in the studio.  He tells us we are about to see the days following the proposal in Peru.  They seem cute and happy and then Arie is telling he camera that on these getaways he wonders what it would be like with Lauren.  He goes to bed and he thinks about Lauren.

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Arie says he is too concerned about what it would be with Lauren.  He is going to call off the engagement with Becca.  They are getting together in L.A. for a ‘happy couple weekend’.  The show always schedules several weekend get togethers in different locations after filming and before the show airs.

This weekend looks ROUGH.  I hope the special unedited version includes Becca stabbing him if he is going to break up with her.  Chris tells us this is unedited and filmed with multiple cameras.

Does Becca want this to be shown? Should I be watching this?

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She knows bad stuff is coming.  He says he’s been struggling and trying to sort his feelings.

She asks if he is F*ing kidding her.  She has not stabbed him yet and I’m super impressed/mad.  He tells her that he thought the heartbreak would go away and it never did.  He says it’s not fair to be “half in” with her.  Becca asks if she would be “half in” with Lauren.  He says no.

She has still not lit him on fire and I’m highly impressed.  Clearly a producer gave her a sedative beforehand and took away all weapons.

She says he’s been up front with her and told her that he still had feelings.  He says he wanted to talk to her before the After the Final Rose.  She says he shouldn’t have gotten down on one knee at all.  I tend to agree with her.  Also, we’ve yet to hear any sort of “I’m sorry” from him.

She finally says she hopes he finds what he is looking for and that it is clearly not her.  She says she is done and gets up to walk to the bedroom to pack.  He follows her and she makes it clear that she isn’t going to hug him goodbye.  Then he says, “do you want a few seconds to yourself or do you just want me to go?”  “I want you to go” she says.  So he stands there and stares at her for a while.

She is sobbing in the bathroom and Arie comes back inside to knock on the door to see if she is ok.  DUDE.  SHE TOLD YOU TO LEAVE.

She is wandering around the bathroom mirror maze and the airbnb and can’t get away from the camera crew.  I yell at the TV “Start pooping”.  They can’t film that.

She cries some more and finally manages to say that she has nothing to say.  She cries to herself “what did I do wrong?”.  He is eerily silent.

He chases her down the hallway again.  “Can we talk for a few minutes?”  “Don’t touch me.”  PUNCH HIM IN THE HEAD, I yell.

Chris Harrison says we’re not done yet.  Pass me a drink.

Arie wants her to sit down with him and talk.  She obliges and cries and says nothing.  He finally says it kills him to see her like this and he is so sorry.  She says she is actually in love with him and can’t imagine her life without him.  He says he is sorry two more times.

67 more hours pass by while we watch Arie sitting silently and Becca crying asking him to go.  This is why it’s important to edit maybe.  The cameraman is bored.  I’m bored.  Becca wants to scream and evidently go call Caroline.

Arie finally walks to the black SUV and it is locked, which is mildly amusing.

Becca takes the mic pack off and goes to the bathroom (to presumably finally fake poop at least so they can’t come in).

We cut to the studio and Becca is sitting on the couch across from Chris.  She looks great.  She says it is brutal watching that scene.  Chris ask how it is to watch that back.  Men.  She just answered that.

Well, that was a fun three minutes of Becca sitting on the couch. We’ll be back tomorrow to see Arie, Lauren, and Becca all on one stage.

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  1. Chelsea W says

    I love that you saying Lauren having a dog makes her seem more human because that was my exact thought process as well.
    You’re also definitely right about editing…it was horrible watching Becca cry as Arie hovered over her for hours on end.
    She should’ve pooped and dropped the ring down the toilet for Arie to have to grab out of. Ugh, I swear.

    Liked by 1 person

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