Bachelorette Rachel: Men Tell All

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Bachelorette Recaps / Uncategorized

Alex is back in an ubsurdly crazy suit.  Dean is back with valid questions for Rachel.  Whaaaboom is Whaaabooming and all is right in the world.  I mean wrong.  All is wrong in the world.

It’s the night of bleeping bleeps.

We start with the flashbacks of the best drama this season held.  In case you forgot, that included Lee and Kenny, Whaaaboom and Blake, DeMario with the surprise visit from the scrunchied (now) ex-girlfriend, Iggy and Eric, Iggy and Josiah, Iggy and anyone he felt was doing better than him.

DeMario gets the first moment to explain himself.  He asks if there are any ‘ocular’ facts about him and that girl he didn’t remember who was until she started yelling at him.  Nobody really cares, but somehow he finds a way to use Clinton and Monica as a defense.

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Iggy starts talking which causes Josiah to instantly roll his eyes.  Whaaaboom pipes up that Josiah is a joke.  If there’s one thing all the guys can agree on, it’s that Whaaaboom isn’t allowed to call anyone a joke.

Chris asks about Kenny and Lee.  What was it? Why didn’t they get along?  Kenny says he never really cared about Lee, he was there for Rachel, but all the guys made a gentleman’s pact and Lee broke it.  I think it’s just unfortunate they didn’t have access to social media in the house because when they went through Lee’s Twitter Kenny would have had a lot more to say about him.

Dean pipes up that Kenny was easily one of the most well-liked guys in the house.  The same can not be said for Lee and that should explain enough.

Chris calls Kenny up to the hot seat to chat.  The only interesting part of this is when Kenny does an impression of Lee.  The topic of ‘aggression’ is brought up and everyone laughs.  Chris says he’s sorry that tonight causes another event for Kenny to be away from his daughter.  SURPRISE! She’s here.  She comes out to encourage her dad and say hey, at least you made top 8.  Tomorrow is Kenny’s birthday so good old Chris H says he’s sending Kenny and Mackenzie to Disneyland because apparently this is also the Ellen show now.  Yay!

Lee is in the hot seat next.  I’m just gonna say first off that it’s only right he gets a trip to Disneyland too.  No such luck for Lee though.  Instead he gets scolded by everyone and then Chris reads some previous tweets of his, which he forgot to delete before he went on the show.

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It’s understood that going on National TV holds the same deal.  Turns out they are racist and he’s very sorry.  He compares the KKK to the NAACP, which rightly incenses DeMario.  He offers to give him a lesson of “History 1-0-fucking-1”.  Others voice their concerns about if he is sorry he wrote them or if he is sorry he got caught.  Lee says he needs to apologize to everyone, but meanwhile the guys are fist bumping in the background because they won that round.

Dean’s turn to talk.  They make him watch the video montage of the love he almost had.  Somehow he is holding his tears on the inside.  I’m hoping it’s because he found love in paradise.  Either way, once Rachel comes out, his only real question for her is why did you say you were falling in love with me only to give me the boot four days later.  She really was falling in love with him she says.  I’m sure her love for all the final four guys will magically turn off by the time it’s time to say yes to just one.

Lee apologizes to Rachel.  She graciously accepts, but is more than willing to give him a black history lesson as well.

Chris asks Rachel about DeMario.  She says, “Who?” We all laugh, including DeMario.

The bloopers are great as always and we look forward to the most dramatic finale every next week.  I’m excited, but I fear she will mess it up.

Tune in next week for the big conclusion, but more importantly Bachelor in Paradise starts in a couple weeks!

Breaking news: I just went to the Google to find a picture of Jorge the bartender and I found out that he is not tending the bar this season, but a familiar face is.  Color me excited!

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