Bachelorette Rachel: Episode 9

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Bachelorette Recaps / Uncategorized

Welcome to Texas!  We’re in Dallas this week to meet Rachel’s family.  Wait! Doesn’t the family usually just meet the final two and don’t they usually meet on location?  I was confused too.  Rachel clarified for us that her sister is eight months pregnant, therefore the family will meet the final three guys in Dallas, then they’ll travel to Spain for overnight dates.

Meeting the Family with Peter

Peter is up first.  They start out by going to a baby boutique to buy gifts for sister’s kiddos.  Rachel asks if the onesies are one-size-fits-all.  Thankfully Peter is there to inform her that he’s pretty sure that’s not how it works.  This isn’t the first time that I find Peter rational.  ABC pays the modest tab of a few thousand dollars for the tiny outfits and they are on their way.

Peter tells the camera that he regrets what he said and what he didn’t say on his hometown date.  They set down their bags of presents and the mandatory flower bouquet for mom on the stairs out front.  Peter makes it clear that he is very interested in her and is definitely falling in love with her.  She says she is falling in love with him too, which is the last thing she said to Dean before she escorted him to the rejection limo.

It’s time to go in and meet the family.  Rachel explains that unfortunately her dad won’t be able to be there to meet any of the guys… because he is busy in the basement in his den avoiding the cameras and drama of bachelorette.  In fact as the camera shows different scenes around the house any family photo that includes the federal judge dad is blurred out.  Curiosity got the best of me.  Not to worry friends, I go the extra mile for you.  I searched high and low and found a picture of judge dad.

Image result for uncle phil picture judge

You’re welcome.

Rachel’s brother-in-law asks Peter what Rachel’s flaws are.  I feel like this is one of those trick questions in an interview where you have to say what your flaws are and you are supposed to say something that sounds bad, but is really a good thing.  I immediately go to Michael Scott for example.

Image result for michael scott maybe i hit someone with my car

Peter handles the conversation well and is on to talking to Rachel’s mom.  They sit down on the Wayfair outdoor wicker furniture and begin their conversation.

Mom: Why would you want to propose to Rachel?

Peter: I don’t know that in two weeks I could feel that certainty to propose.  I am not going to ask for your blessing today and would do that at a different time down the road if that is the case.

Mom appreciates his honesty and reminds him that if this journey were to end in dating, it would be very serious dating, as serious as marriage.

All in all, it seemed to go fairly well with Peter meeting the family.

Meeting the Family with Eric

The guys are having a bro talk in the hotel about their lack of good sleep when Rachel walks in to pick up Eric.  She is wearing a pretty flowing purple tank top, which is odd because it is not black, beige, or white.

Rachel takes Eric to a super tall tower ( I didn’t pay attention or care enough to rewind and find out which tower, but a tall tower in Dallas) and looks out over the city with him.  She points out which direction the family house is and the federal building where her dad works.  They snuggle and smooch overlooking the city, which is maybe a touch more romantic than baby shopping at the baby boutique.  They enjoy some champagne and fresh fruit while atop the tower and discuss the day.

Eric and Rachel show up to the family house, Eric holding the mandatory bouquet of flowers.  The family starts chatting and Eric explains a bit about his family life and growing up with a dysfunctional household.  He values family and says all the right things.

Sister Constance talks to Eric first.  Before their talk she explains to the camera that she is not sure just how emotionally ready he might be.  After talking and answering all of her questions honestly and eloquently, sister is convinced that he is definitely ready to settle down and start a family.  Sister gives her stamp of approval.  Bring on the mom.

Mom and Eric settle down for their interview.  He tells her without a doubt he is ready for marriage and kids.  She asks him to describe what he thinks marriage would look like.  His answer includes words like commitment, compromise, trust and other words that would impress a mama.  He asks for her blessing in asking for Rachel’s hand in marriage, should he be the last man standing.  Mom says that if Rachel chooses him to be the one she wants to take that journey with, she would feel comfortable with that.

Hugs all around as Eric walks out with a gold star.

Meeting the Family with Brian

Here we go, folks.  Brian gets to meet Rachel’s friends for brunch to be looked over, prior to going to the house.  Cue the disappointment in my living room as we all interpret this to mean that he is clearly the frontrunner if she’s taking him to meet friends.  They enjoy mimosas and talk of love and commitment.

They arrive at the family house and Brian gets out with a potted orchid, instead of bouquet of flowers.  I’m not sure what that means psychologically, but it means something probably.

They gather in the living room to get to know this Brian fella.  At some point Brian brings up his love affair with his mom, somehow thinking this will get him points.  He says that he loves his mother dearly and she is the number one woman in his life and essentially will always hold this place of importance in his life.

Constance makes the face the rest of America makes.

constance face

Rachel’s mom proposes a situation in which Rachel and Bryan’s mom don’t get along, then what? Bryan dances around and hems and haws then eventually says that he could not really see that happening, but he guesses he would side with wife.  Mom nails him down and asks seriously, so if they truly could not get along, which would you pick?  Bryan goes silent.  He is thinking and making a concerned face and after 12 seconds of silence Rachel chimes in that he already said he would pick wife. Clearly, that’s why he was taking so long to answer.

Rachel is starting to get frustrated by this barrage of rational questions!

Mom suggests maybe they should all sit down to some lunch.  Oh thank goodness, this evil questioning can finally end.  Rachel’s uncle talks now and asks Brian what qualities in him Rachel accentuates.  Rachel rolls her eyes and is visibly annoyed, y’all.  Now brother in law stands up for uncle and says this is a fair question.  Rachel is mad.  Brian asks to be excused and leaves the table to go throw up in a coat closet.

Image result for phoebe i threw up in the coat closet

While he’s out of the room on the phone with his mom, Rachel reprimands her family.  Her brother-in-law jumps in to tell Rachel she is just being emotional, because that is always a good idea to tell a woman she is being emotional.

Now sister Constance sits down with Brian.  He starts out by saying how in love he is.  Constance makes her trademark unbelieving face.  She says she isn’t sure that is believable.  They move on to talk about family.  He says he already loves her family.  Constance shakes her head and says it’s only been an hour and a half so that does not make sense.  She’s not about Brian.

Mom and Brian talk now.  She says she hopes he was ok with the questions they all asked and he says they were all fair questions.  He informs her that if he is chosen at the end he will be proposing to her.  A faint Mr. Heckles-ish broom handle can be heard hitting the floor from the den down below. He then kinda sorta asks for her blessing.  Mom says she trusts Rachel and if Rachel picks him then she gives her blessing for them to build on their relationship.  So, not quite the response she gave Eric.

I am wishing judge dad was here now more than ever.

After they walk out, Rachel tells Brian she is so glad he handed himself well.  WHAT? They asked him what qualities she brings out in him and he had to leave the room.  Funny, cause doesn’t Eric automatically tell everyone the qualities she brings out in him and how she challenges him and makes him a better person?  Just throwing that out there for consideration.

On to Spain

The gang arrives in Spain– because it’s the perfect place to fall in love, y’all!

First up is Eric.  Rachel tells the camera that Eric has struggled with expressing his feelings towards her.  Everyone in America is confused by this statement.  She needs to hear the words “I love you” said perfectly in that order and no cute variation.  She needs it now!  I’m secretly hoping that a camera man will give Eric a hint that she is somehow confused.

They spend time together out in town and visit an old monastery.  There is a bell there and she tells him if they make a wish and ring the bell three times it will come true.

At dinner he tells her that he is falling in love with her.  We all yell at the TV that those words won’t count.  He finally corrects himself and tells her the three magic words that make her happy.

He reads the fantasy date card and once he gets to the end he reads, “signed Chris Harrison… that guy is awesome!”

The next morning the camera shows us messed up sheets and we are too assume that they had an enjoyable evening.  They get coffee and before leaving he says I love you and kisses her goodbye.  I hope she figured it out.

She brushes her teeth and heads out to meet Peter.  They go to a winery and meet the man who made the winery 327 years ago.  He sings a song to prove that he partakes in the wine he makes.  We believe him.  He gives them a key to their own special tiny wine cellar.  It has a sign with their name.  Peter mentions later that he is the only one who has a key to it so whenever they are in Spain they can get some wine.  Uh huh, sure.  Whatever makes you happy, Peter.

It’s time to get down to serious conversation.  Just as he is about to promise that he is NOT going to propose to her, they get interrupted by an adorable little girl.  They get distracted.

The evening portion of the date starts with Peter sharing a cute little tradition from his family. They always keep the cork and write the date and their names and a little memory from the day on it.  Seems cute.

Rachel says it’s time to talk.  Basically Peter says engagement is basically marriage and he only wants to do it once and he can’t be sure he is ready to commit to life after knowing her ten minutes.  She gets upset.  She doesn’t view engagement as that.  She gets engaged all the time, it’s hardly a commitment at all.  This doesn’t change his mind.  Cue the crying.  She admits to the camera for the first time that she doesn’t know if her and Peter can make it work.

TO BE CONTINUED… dang you and your suspense, ABC.



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