We have a deal. Wheat Bran is supposed to be the one thing that I don’t throw up. Now it’s the one thing that I usually don’t throw up, because it broke the pact. Two days ago I woke up in excruciating pain. I don’t like to discuss pain and talk about it a whole lot because I feel like everyone has pain in different ways and talking about it sometimes leads to the comparison game or the ‘my pain is worse’ stupid stuff. I will say that I can only compare my pain to previous pain I have felt I woke up with almost every joint in my body hurting so badly and it was the worst joint pain that I had ever felt. Hands, fingers, wrists, hips, ankles, feet, toes, head & shoulders, knees and toes, knees and toes.
The thing with POTS is that you can’t always point to a reason, which is annoying and frustrating. I hadn’t done heavy lifting or crazy hiking or work outs the day before. The pain I was feeling could have been something catching up with me from a week or two ago, or even a month. It’s a nervous system that is misfiring and sending messages wrong, so really anything is possible.
Along with my joint pain, I had nausea and stomach pain. I spent the entire day either in bed or in the bathroom. It was not really optional to go elsewhere.
Again, this wasn’t the result of mimosa’s or a morning after a bunch of passing out the day before, just a random day. I can say that halfway through the day the pain started to reduce and by yesterday most of the pain was at a tolerable level. Today, I have very little joint pain at all. Praise the Lord! Yesterday I had some pretty serious bouts of dizziness and some stomach issues.
Today, it’s early. The whole day is before me still. I can say that I hope the pain level will stay at what it is right now. I can say that I hope my stomach accepts foods today and doesn’t hurt really bad during digesting. I can say that I hope dizziness stays far away. I can hope that my energy level is a bit higher than the last few days. Hoping is really all I can do though, because so much of it is out of my hands.
Just providing a wee bit of insight about what it’s like to have an autonomic nervous system that is broken and confused. Not to say this issue or problem is worse than someone else’s, because I know many struggle in different ways. To my Potsie friends who completely understand the seemingly random attacks, I’m so sorry you understand and know the feeling, but you aren’t alone.
Today, I shall do my very best to look for joy and maybe even make a bit of my own. I shall smile and not cry (hopefully). I am reminded of the Casting Crowns song Praise You in this Storm. This song always reminds me where I need to put my focus during times like this. Who knows? Maybe if I didn’t have POTS I wouldn’t be forced to seek out and praise God as much? So many questions I don’t have answers to, but that doesn’t need to be my focus.
If you’re traveling through a storm right now, listen to this song. You have the time.