Just leave it to my brother to show me up with his creativity and wit. You might remember my post the ABC’s of Hockey I recently made. I posted it and my mom replied and told me it was ‘cute and clever’. I told her to just wait until she sees her son’s responses.
Just a little backstory on my childhood. I danced through mine while my brother skated through his. He played hockey for several years which resulted in a lot of family road trips- usually to Canada. We watched a great deal of hockey as a family too.
Look at this little kiddo’s game face.
Anyways, on with his official ABC’s of hockey list!
By: Josh Rasmussen
A- Spelled eh: Canadian Jibberish
B- Biscuit: The puck
C- Curling: a bad Canadian joke
D- Big D: home of the Dallas Stars
E- Emilio Estevez: coached the Mighty Ducks
F- Ovechkin’s backchecking grade
G- Great One: Wayne Gretzky
H- Hockeytown: Detroit. The 2016-2017 season was the last for the famous Joe Louis Arena.
I- Ice- why lacrosse is so damn boring.
J- Juniors. Some of the most entertaining hockey is played at this level. example:
K- KHL. Hockey is worldwide. There are 32 professional American-style football teams on the planet and not one is outside the U.S.
L- “Let ’em know you’re there!” Watch Slap Shot.
M- Mike Eruzione: Miracle on Ice.
N- No Fucking Way. Buffalo was robbed in the 1999 Stanley Cup Playoffs. Hull was in the crease illegally.
O- Oh oh oh. Rangers goal song. Slapshot. Written specifically for the NYR
P- Pain. Hockey players are legit tough.
Tough isn’t for everyone though.
Q- Quebec Nordiques. Before the 1995-1996 season, this historic franchise relocated to Denver to become the Colorado Avalanche who would win two Stanley Cups before cementing their place as worst in the league by far!
R- Rips, Rifles. Acceptable verbs for describing a slap shot or other hard shot. Mike Emrick has struggled to find reasonable verbs to describe play his entire career. Knife, spirit and ladle are NOT acceptable verbs for describing puck movement.
S = Stripes. Wes McCauley adds a little juice to a fighting call.
T- Tucker. This guy. Just watch. LOT of this.
U- Up, up and away. Bobby Orr’s flying goal is one of the most famous in the history if the sport.
V- Vent. Tortorella “Torts” is known for wearing his emotions on his sleeve.
W- Whistle. During the NHL playoffs, officials are said to “swallow their whistles” and allow a much more physical, borderline illegal style of play.
X- X teams. Mike Sillinger, traded a league-high 10 times, has the most X teams in NHL history.
Y- Y the fuck would anyone watch basketball? Seriously.
Z- Zzzzz’s. A pair of teams in a Norwegian league spent more than eight and a half hours settling a playoff game in what is considered to be the longest hockey game ever recorded.
So there you have it. His comprehensive list. I hope y’all are watching the NHL playoffs. You don’t want to miss it. It’s the best season of the year! Go Penguins!
I’m going to ladle myself over to the kitchen to get some more coffee.