Pretend Good News

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Big Medical Words / Uncategorized

Don’t get your hopes up.  This isn’t actually good news; it’s just pretend good news.

I got my first denial.  In a way I feel like I fit in a little bit more better with my other chronic illness friends now.

Yes, I still have social security disability.  I was working to also access my retirement fund since they have a ‘disability retirement’ option.  Since I’m fully disabled according to the social security people, I thought this might be easy.  Silly me.

In order to apply for this I had to have several specialists fill out a five page document and also provide all of my previous medical records and test results.  I also had to gather my hospital records and over 200 pages of physical therapy notes and records.  I had to pay to fax several of these documents and also pay to mail large priority mail boxes of documents.  Oh and not to mention, I had to fill out a 25 page form answering hundreds of questions.

I read the forms that the doctors filled out before I mailed them back.  If I remember I think I even posted one of the answers here.  My neurologist wrote “no potential for recovery”.

Well, evidently the way that they decide if I qualify for disability retirement is by sending all of my medical records to a different doctor, who I have never seen.  Here’s where the pretend good news comes in.  In doctor Guzzo’s opinion, I’m pretty much fine.  Oh thank goodness.  I’m relieved because this pretending to be sick all the time was getting pretty boring.  He says I can do pretty much any job as long as it’s not heavy lifting or climbing ladders.  What a relief.

I guess the biggest reason that this is a slap in the face is because I REALLY WISH I could work.  I have dreams about dispatching.  I miss it all the time.  Some days I pretend I have to work and even just try to get ready in a reasonable amount of time.  I usually end up in bed and very ill.  I think up ideas for blogs, but sometimes it is two or three days until I am actually well enough to type it out.

Dr. Guzzo,  I wish you were right.  I wish I could go to work.  But unfortunately, I’m going to have to side with my doctors who actually treat me and even let me do a trial of working 4 hours after I begged and begged for it.  Since it ended with me in the hospital, it was a pretty clear fail.

Even if I did get approved for disability retirement, the amount of money per month I would get, PLUS what I get for social security disability is still less than what I was making when I could go to work.  That’s even including my two-cent raise I got a few months ago.

No, I’m not complaining.  I’m just explaining some of the frustrations.  I can’t work up to a raise or a promotion.  There is no overtime I can put in for when I need a little extra cash.  Please don’t take me pointing this out as me being ungrateful for the compensation I am provided.  That is not the case.  I am incredibly thankful, but I do think it’s worth noting these points as some people may not think about these little things.

So I’m going to take the high road.  I’m going to whine and pout a little bit for a few more days and then I will start the appeal process.

There are a lot of things to smile about.  I’m off to go do some smiling right now.  You should do the same.




  1. Wow! You’ve never been denied a diagnosis before? It took a very long, strange odyssey to get my POTS diagnosis about 10 years. Many doctors & even some friends telling me “I’m fine” to “it’s all in my head.” At one point, I finally believed them. The diagnosis I had was incorrect & my neurologist didn’t believe me- when I said, “yeah it’s totally fine because I just black out sometimes. I told you this.”


    • Oh no, this was my first disability type denial.

      The diagnosis thing is crazy what some people will say!! Anxiety. Stress. You’re just tired. I’m glad you finally got a correct diagnosis, but it’s crazy that it took that long. I know the average is 5 years I think. Craaazy!

      Liked by 1 person

      • Actually, I’m still trying to get help with POTS to know how to appropriately treat it. It is such a new diagnosis & the people who are supposed to help me won’t &/or can’t! It is super frustrating because I’d rather continue living life, as normally as possible.


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