In December I had pink eye, which was really annoying. It took forever to go away, which was really annoying. Then my vision remained blurry forever more, which was really annoying.
I called a couple weeks ago and made an appointment. Today was appointment day.
Personal Victory: For the first time in my life I was brave enough to do the air puff in the eye test.
I finished the rest of the pre-testing then went in to see the doctor. She made me try reading lines of letters one eye at a time. The right eye was maybe slightly worse than two years ago. The left eye was another story. I couldn’t see any of the letters. In fact no amount of correction she applied made any of the letters visible.
She came over to do the bright light look at my eye thing. Then she did the blue light look at my eye. Then she said “Your cornea is a complete mess.” I know I never was the best housekeeper and I need help now, but I like to think I at least keep my corneas tidy. Apparently not my left one.
Next she put dye in my eye and looked again. She couldn’t see any white blood cells that would mean leftover infection. She couldn’t see any injuries. She went ahead and wrote a prescription for me to see a different doctor who has the capability to do more testing to help get answers. My favorite part was when she said, “I wouldn’t say it’s exactly an emergency, but I would say to get in as soon as possible.” Sidenote** in that moment all I heard was “you’re losing your vision any day now. Say goodbye to seeing things.”
She was familiar with POTS and the nervous system. She said the optical nerves appeared to be in good condition as far as she could see, though she said she didn’t have the capability to see the entire nerve.
Since the eyes are a part of the nervous system of course they can be affected by POTS. I was well aware of this, although I’ll admit it was a bit of a fear of mine. Eye things freak me out.
In short, the appointment was a bit of a bummer. I thought I’d be picking out new cute glasses, but instead I’m waiting to see another doctor for more testing. I’m not 100% sure that I can blame POTS for this, but basically in my life everything is POTS until proven otherwise.
I had a mini freak out and bought myself some treats at Costco to cheer me up. A new soft blanket can fix a lot of emotions. I’ve known this since my friend brought me an amazing blanket while I was in the hospital.
I will update more about results after I see the next doctor. I’m not positive, but I feel like there used to be a time when I could go to a doctor without leaving with a prescription to a different doctor.
This is one of those moments where my initial reaction is to freak out and worry about a lot of things that could be. This is a bad place to go and I know this. So, my reminder for myself right now is that I don’t need to worry about what could be. I need to focus and put one foot in front of the other until I know more. When I used to go running with Tom he would tell me that even when you don’t want to you just ‘put one foot in front of the other until it’s over.’
I am just going to keep doing my life and avoid sitting on the cactus.
Have a happy weekend friends and don’t sit on the cactus.