I get my disability checks once a month, which is a new payment plan for me. I’ve always been an every two weeks kinda girl, so I’ve had to change up some budget things. Well, since it is supposed to be deposited on the 15th and it’s now the 18th, I started to get a bit antsy. I figured I better check in on this.
I knew that there was a way to access things online because when I first applied for disability, I could check the status of my application online along the way. Which made me think I had maybe created an account with their website to do that. So to save time I just started with Forgot Username to get this moving along. That’s when I told them my social security number and the website laughed and said ‘you fool, you don’t have an account here!’ My mistake.
Should be easy enough to create an account. Again, I’m picturing my grandfather who has designated people all over town who their sole job is to remember his Amazon username and password when he needs it. Surely this is a user friendly system.
I start down the steps of creating an account. I’ve entered all the normal stuff. Now it’s time to confirm that I am who I really say I am.
First question. Your credit report says you opened a line of credit January 2015, who was it with: Kohls, Sears, Visa, MasterCard, or None of the Above.
Hmm. I can think of nothing and no credit line. Nada. That was while we were starting the house selling process and definitely no, I did not so I guess I pick none of the above because there is no answer for ‘you’re wrong; I did not’.
Another question. Three years ago you sold a house. Who was the mortgage company? Oh gosh, well it changed like three times. Half the time we can’t remember our current mortgage company and we make payments monthly.
And my personal favorite question: In 2010 you paid off a school loan. What was the name of the lender for that loan. Really?! Six years ago. I got nothing. None of them look even vaguely familiar at all. I guessed None of the above again which must have been right because it granted me access.
Now it’s time to set my security questions for the next time I can’t remember my password.
I need three questions and one of my choices is “where were you when JFK was shot?”
“I’m too young for this shit!” is my response in opposite Lethal Weapon fashion.
Well, he was shot 22 years before I was born and 17 years before my parents even met and got married. So… I was nowhere. Non existent. Not an anything yet.
Just, no. I was no.
I don’t care for those security questions because they always seem to have varying responses available. Who is your favorite band? Ok, that’s stupid. Who knows what I will say today or what I said 4 years ago when I set up the account. One of the choices today was what hospital were you born in? Well, that doesn’t work well either because it had one name when I was born there and it has a different name now. So I can see myself being confused about that one too.
I’m telling you, the varying options for security questions are super tough, but it reminds me of one of a favorite comedian quoting tricky questions.
Once upon a time when I was in college (while I was accruing student loans that I would apparently pay off in 2010 to _________ company), I had to use an online system through the college and it was horrible. It froze nonstop. It constantly lost work and just as you went to select your classes it would lose connection and by the time you got into the system again they would all be gone. So to get into NIC Online I used a few choicevulgarwordsNICOnline 1. Then vulgarwordsNICOnline 2. Whenever tech support had to unlock and fix stuff they always needed me to tell them my password, which did at least always make me smile.
But seriously, the system is super user friendly!