Rage. This is mostly just a whiny post about my morning and what I’m mad about. I usually compose myself and then post later about how I found the happy. Not to worry. I will find the happy and continue in this day, but first I’m going to rage a little bit.
My brilliant plan today: I had to make phone calls to the doctor about blood work, to the insurance company about the letter they sent me, and to the heart monitor company about a bill I got. So I told myself “Amy, you don’t get to have coffee until you get these phone calls out of the way, otherwise you’ll just put them off more and more.” Spoiler alert: my plan was not brilliant.
Me: Oh, hi I got blood work done in May and I never heard the results. Can you mail them or have a nurse tell me the info?
Nurse: Well I damn sure can’t mail them without you signing special forms and really, we aren’t supposed to release them.
Me: If I have Hillary Clinton call and ask for them can you send them to her and then she can send them to me? (Ok, I didn’t say this.)
Me Actually: I cheerfully said, ‘sure, please send me the release form and I’ll fill it out and send it back, but can you tell me the results today on the phone please?’
Nurse: Vitamin D up to normal level, but continue treating as doctor would still like to see it much higher. Your protein levels are a little low (story of my life). Oh, and remember how the doctor told you last time that you are officially OVERWEIGHT now? Oh yea, your triglycerides are high.
Nurse: Ya. Usually goes along with belly fat (two of my favorite words, by the way). In women can increase risk of heart disease much faster than men. I will forward this along to your primary doctor so that they can decide if they want to counsel you. (God help the poor person who calls me and tells me I just need to exercise more.)
Me to my husband post the call: Oh ya, the doctor called to tell me I’m fat. Here’s what I’ve decided: lots of people have head injuries and get concussions and they are just fine. Hockey players for example: famous, rich (not basketball or football rich of course, but way richer than me), go on to lead normal lives out of retirement and lots of them had serious head injuries. So I’m just gonna go jogging. Sometimes I’ll make it back. Mostly I’ll pass out along the road somewhere and someone will find me or you’ll come looking. I’ll go to the hospital with head injuries, but it’ll be fine.
Husband: That’s a really great idea. How will I know where to look, what if you fall down hill or in the road, (other ridiculous questions).
Me: Ok, fine. I’ll just give up cheese and fat and sugar and start eating only kale and be a RAGING BITCH all the time.
Insurance Company Phone Call:
Me: Hey, I got a letter in the mail about my insurance coverage ending?
Guy: Ya, it’s terminated.
Me: Ok cool. It’s not like I have any chronic health problems. (Ok I didn’t say this.)
Me Actually: Ya, work said it would continue for 30 months with me paying the same minimal amount I’ve been paying.
Guy: Ya maybe, maybe it will be a lot more. You have to first send in the paper that you do wanna keep it and then we’ll tell you how much it is.
Me: Cool. Sounds like a plan. I’ll eagerly await that letter.
Me to husband: Oh ya and my insurance is terminated or maybe not or maybe.
Heart Monitor Phone call:
Me: Hi. I got a confusing bill. Do I really owe that?
Lady: Ya. We’re out of network so your insurance paid 182 dollar and you’re responsible for the rest. Meeting your deductible doesn’t apply because, again we’re out of network.
Me: Cool, I’m glad we made sure to use a heart monitor company for 27 days with a company that is out of network (Ok, I didn’t really say this.)
Me Actually: Great thank you.
I have now made coffee and will proceed with my day now.