‘Merica! Freedom! Explosions!

comments 7
Funny Farm Stuff / Smile Makers / Uncategorized

4th of July!  Independence Day!  It has always been a favorite holiday of mine.  I like Christmas and I like Thanksgiving, but I’ve always said that Fourth of July has them beat as the best food holiday.  Here is my main reasoning:  CHEESE.  I know I’m right so you don’t have to agree, but this day contains BBQ chips, lots of dips, cheeseburgers, and usually pie, as well as lots of chocolate.  Thanksgiving includes PEAS.  I rest my case.

This is how I started my morning, and if you followed me on Snapchat, you’d know this.

4th of july coffee

As a child I loved this holiday for the food obviously, but also the fireworks.  We grew up having a full understanding of the cautions and safety measures that were to be taken.  One year in fact, we were riding in the car and my dad started going over firework safety precautions and my brother failed to take it seriously.  He stuck his head out the window which prompted my dad to start rolling up the window.  To this day my dad still falls down laughing thinking about that moment.  It was what you would now call a ‘parenting win’.  My brother is still bitter about it.  Anyways, my parents don’t drink so that ruled out the typical ‘drunken firework lighting… oops I held it too long’ moments.  Our next door neighbors always spent a crazy amount of money buying all the cool illegal fireworks and therefore we always got a great show to watch for free.  I was young and could realize this was a great deal.  However…

As a 911 dispatcher, many, MANY people didn’t see it as such a great deal.  I always wanted to say, “Guess what? You’re winning.  You don’t like your neighbors?  They paid 1000 dollars on fireworks and you are watching them for FREE!  You’re winning! That’ll show them!”  It was a lost cause though.  Working 4th of July in dispatch was one of my favorite night shifts.  I like busy, and boy was it busy; and the nights and weeks leading up to it as well.  So many shots fired calls.  My favorite was the justification that always went along with the July 2nd gunshot calls.  “My dad was in Vietnam so I would know exactly what that was and it wasn’t a firework.  No way.  It was a BLA BLA BLA random numbers and letters gun!”  Ok sir, we’ll come check the street for bodies.

oprah shots fired

On a sidenote: If I was ever going to shoot someone, it would totally be on the Fourth of July.

Just one more little PSA:

  1. A neighbor lighting off an illegal firework is not a 911 call.
  2. Fireworks are never a 911 call unless a person or a house is on fire.
  3. My dog is scared of the fireworks is not a 911 call.
  4. I have to work tomorrow and these damn idiots lighting off fireworks are keeping me awake is not a 911 call.

There are only so many police officers per city and there are more people with fireworks.  And yes, they are the illegal ones.  The illegal ones are cool that’s why people buy them.  There is only so much time on Fourth of July and there is no way that every single illegal firework can be confiscated because believe it or not, there is still real crime that happens on this day too.

Do you know why?  Because today is national HOLD MY BEER AND WATCH THIS day for a lot of people.  Don’t be that person please.  Losing fingers is always less funny the next day.

Be safe and please enjoy the day responsibly!  Don’t drink and drive.  Clean up your firework garbage that is in the street.  Be kind to terrified animals running loose and take them back to their home.  Do eat as many BBQ chips as your heart desires.

We as Americans, and as humans have a lot to be thankful for today and always.  Go and find something to smile and laugh about today and choose joy!

PS: here are my crafty shirts I made.

party like it's 1776

red white and boozed




  1. I worked this night shift….it was fun. Certainly no 911 calls, given our agency. However, reading all of central’s nonsense and watching all the firework traffic on the ITD cameras was awesome. So many near misses on crashes. It was hilarious.

    Liked by 1 person

  2. How’d you decide which shirt to wear to the bbq with your non drinking parents, aunt, uncle and grandparents? Lol! It’s also impossible to guess who left the 4 part comment. Ha ha


  3. colleenknauber says

    Wow, you are getting so fancy with your crafting…considering that you called a calligraphy pen the devil your writing is excellent. And you know St Patrick’s Day had the best food. Except Passover. Fancy coffee and big hair….you are America’s finest.

    Liked by 1 person

  4. isp541 says

    1: Again, hookers, drug dealers and now apparently teachers taking pics of their junk to send to students are the only people that really use snap chat.
    2: Fireworks lack the sonic Crack of a bullet and the explosion comes at the end, not the beginning.
    3: Stay home you Washington bastard.
    4: Fireworks represent the musket and canon balls we threw in the faces of the British. Now we’re friends, but really, we’re better.

    Liked by 1 person

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