A Dose of Honesty-Nervous to Share

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Deep Thoughts About POTS

Prepare for some honesty.  I’m nervous to share this post because I feel like I’m going to look like a big whiny cry baby who wants attention.  That’s not the case.  If I’m truly trying to help raise awareness I have to be honest in the rough moments too.  My friend who is on duty full time for her amazing daughter with diabetes was brave enough to post some truth, so I decided I can be brave too.  Thanks Lyndsey for the inspiration!

POTS really fucking sucks sometimes.  This is one of those times.  I have to be off of my medication for at least five days before my autonomic testing Tuesday.

I’m thankful for the opportunity to see another specialist who may have some new ideas.  I’m thankful for the opportunity to have testing done by true professionals who do it everyday.

But this sucks.

I’m done with dizziness. I’m done with the room spinning and my body constantly feeling like it’s floating or like I’m on a boat.

I’m done with nausea.   I’m done being hungry with stomach pain and picking my meal by deciding what I wanna throw up.

I’m done seeing spots and hearing buzzing.

I’m done with the incessant leg, hip, ankle, neck, back, wrist, and forearm pain.

I’m done with the pounding headache.

I’m done crying nonstop- which I’m sure is helping the headache.

I’m going to give you a little glimpse of some of the bad moments.  Again, not because I want sympathy, but because I think it’s important to be open about these moments too.

strength in tears

Now don’t be mean and make fun of my mid-cry face.  Pretty criers are only on TV and in the movies.

On the positive side:

  1. I have Tom.  He always finds ways to make me laugh.  Today he threatened to let the goats in the house if I didn’t stop crying.  HAHA.
  2. TBS must know I’m having a rough day.  They showed Horrible Bosses followed by We’re the Millers.  If there is one thing I love, it’s a movie with Jennifer Aniston and Jason Sudeikis.
  3. My parents offered to bring anything I want for dinner later!

 

I need to accomplish the paperwork for testing and doctor.  I need to accomplish packing.

I’m not pumped about this road trip, but I’m thankful I have oxygen to bring with and the sooner we get there, the sooner we get testing over and the sooner we move towards growth in the right direction.

SIDENOTE: If I am ever dramatic and whiny in the future and say, ‘my meds don’t do anything’, slap me and remind me of these med-free days.

If you feel so inclined, please keep us in your prayers in these upcoming days for travel, testing, doctor visit, etc.

We would super duper appreciate it!

 

 

5 Comments

  1. Karen says

    Excuse me, I should proof read before I send. I admire you I am not Meyer (whoever that may be). Your friend in smiled

    Like

  2. Karen Mainini says

    Amy, you are always in my prayers every day and every night I know what it’s like to have pain and feel isolated because of your disability you’re doing such a great job. I am Meyer you and respect you for being able to do the blog and live a good life God bless you and know that crying is OK and feeling sad is also OK much love, Karen

    Like

  3. madrenellie says

    I “liked” it, but just because you are so brave and transparent. With God’s help you’ll get through this week. We’ll get it all done tonight and you’ll be ready to travel tomorrow.

    Liked by 1 person

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