Hot Fudge & Half & Half; Grocery Shopping with a Chronic Illness

Everybody has a line they draw when it comes to giving in and admitting that it’s time to buy groceries.

For some people that line is toilet paper.

For others the line is dog food. Our dogs love when they run out of kibble because that means that mom makes scrambled eggs with cheese and toast with peanut butter for them.

In our house the line is coffee creamer. Yesterday morning I made coffee and opened the fridge to find that we were down to the fat free and sugar free crap only.  Not to worry, I knew we had half and half from a recipe I made last week. Just that isn’t enough though. Luckily I had hot fudge leftover from the last time I made Coo Whhip Ice Cream Cake.

Turns out if you’re really in a bind you can mix hot fudge and half and half as a creamer.

Unfortunately that cup of coffee is a bit tainted because with each sip you get closer and closer to the realization that grocery shopping must happen sooner than later.

Grocery shopping is a difficult task for me and while my husband offers to do it for me (and I take him up on it quite often) I sometimes just like to go to the store myself. This morning while I was showering I thought to myself ‘man, they should have a fitbit for POTS with appropriate workouts.  They don’t currently have the workouts I do available in their system.

Grocery shopping, while standing, is a marathon.  Grocery shopping while riding a motorized cart is shockingly enough, still quite the workout.  I know that sounds crazy, but I was dangerously close to passing out yesterday.  My lovely aunt and mom took me shopping and pushed a normal sized cart for my items (because I almost always need more than the tiny decoration basket the front of the motorized cart holds).  Anyways I made it through the produce section just fine, but as we came into the bakery and butcher section my face started to tingle and go numb down both sides.  My heart started racing.  As we left the butcher section I sent my aunt to quick fetch a Gatorade of any size or flavor for me to start chugging.  That helped a tiny bit but I was still spinning and going fuzzy.  While we were in the granola bar aisle and I was sending Aunt Colleen back for items I’d already forgot and passed (I’ll pretend this is due to being sick, but I think it’s more due to being Amy) I had mom open up a box of granola bars labeled something about chocolate and peanut butter so I could inhale one immediately.  About three aisles later I was past the worst of it and could tell I had successfully avoided a faint.  That leaves me sweaty and cold with shaky hands while I pick out the Greek yogurt I want.

Meanwhile all around me people are just grocery shopping like it’s no big deal.  Showoffs.

I don’t blame Fitbit, because there was a time when I thought the only way grocery shopping could possibly be considered a workout would be in this beautiful form:

supermarket sweep gif

Who remembers Supermarket Sweep?  This makes sense to count as a workout, but of course it was a different time of poofier hair and matching sweatshirts, not to mention the dance moves.

supermarket sweep 2

This blog post might have been done sooner had I not gotten distracted by accidentally finding the Buzzfeed page Why Supermarket Sweep was the best Gameshow Ever. If these teaser gifs I posted reminded you of those years you studied prices in the grocery store and had a lucky scrunchie on standby should you ever be called to be on this glorious show, I recommend you check out the link.  I messaged my sis-in-law Ashley just now to make sure this was a relevant link and that people had heard of it.  Her response, “I loved that show.  Always go for the hams!!”  Yep, she’s seen it.

Happy Friday Folks!  Be sure to plan out your smiles for the day carefully! Don’t let a chance to laugh sneak by you!

supermarket sweep 3

 

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One thought on “Hot Fudge & Half & Half; Grocery Shopping with a Chronic Illness

  1. madrenellie says:

    Our first year of marriage, Bob was working as a stocker on night shifts. As a Christmas bonus we got to pick a ham, a turkey aaaaaaand had a $25 gift certificate, which was our normal weekly budget. (I’m old, yes). How we plotted and dreamed. Good times. We did the happy dance for sure.

    Like

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