I’m adjusting to having oxygen available in the house. It’s really nice to have it, although I feel terribly old anytime I use it. I know that is silly, but I just feel very unattractive and self conscious using it.
I’m getting used to the wheelchair a little bit out in public. It’s still a bit hard to swallow (TWSS) at times that over the course of 8 months I now have a wheelchair and oxygen. Although I’m not using either anywhere close to full time. I’m trying to think of them as tools that are available to me. Just tools, like anything else. Like taking a Tums for heartburn. I take some oxygen when I have low oxygen.
I got to visit my coworkers and my workplace for a lunch party last week. Going into the dispatch center was bittersweet and I felt super awkward being in a wheelchair. It was hard because I really miss everyone an the work itself. My mom gave me a ride and was there to visit and also essentially babysit me and push me in my wheelchair. When we left I told my mom that I felt like I everyone was looking at me like I had leprosy. I’m sure most of that was in my head and I’ve mostly been told that people are just concerned and miss me.
I would like to visit more often so that people know I’m the same fun and feisty smartass as before. I just roll now and use oxygen occasionally and pass out if I stand up for too long or too fast. Oh and occasionally have tremors, sometimes pretty violent. Oh and throw up occasionally when I’m really nauseas. Oh and sweat like crazy sometimes. But basically I’m the same me still. Oh and I know my coworkers won’t be able to fathom this, but I pee even more now than before.
Last night in the middle of the night while I was busy not sleeping I saw a commercial for some anti-diarrhea medication. In the commercial the girl is getting ready to go out with friends when ‘diarrhea’ shows up. Diarrhea is played by another girl and dressed in a nude body suit. That had to be the acting break she was really hoping for.
“Hey Grandma, I got a role in a commercial. I’m really excited. I play diarrhea.”
See, that’s her on the left. I love the face of the girl on the right who just found out she has diarrhea. It’s a great commercial. You know what else is great? Insomnia.
Oh, and speaking of grandma, my grandparents came to visit me the other day and Grandma brought some old family photos and things that she just got in the mail from a family member. It was really fun to look through old things and pictures of people I’ve been reading about. I started researching back in November about my family’s ranch in Texas in the 1800’s.
I have a lot of time now. When I’m conscious and not at a medical establishment and not having horrible symptoms, I tend to be researching something.
That is all on pause because it’s officially hockey playoff time of year. The other ‘Most Wonderful Time of the Year’.
Happy Game 3 of the Penguins vs. Rangers series! Go Penguins!
Enjoy your day and go find some smiles!