Penguins > Rangers, All Hockey > Golf

Today the Pittsburgh Penguins played the New York Rangers.  Let me set you up with a little back story.

1. The penguins are my favorite team since the days of Mario Lemieux.

2. The favorite team of my brother is in fact the New York Rangers.

3. It’s always a good day when they play each other.

4. My team won today, oh and the last time they met as well.

#Penguinsarebetterthanrangers #Allhailgreatcrosby #FleurybeatLundquist? #myteamisbetterthanyoursjosh  #pleasedontkillusintheplayoffs #okthatisenoughridiculoushashtags #butseriouslyiwintoday

penguins ass kicking

I just had to mention that real quick.  But on that note, once the game ended it went right to golf.  I don’t understand golf.  I find it hard to believe it caught on to play, much less watch.  I can easily relate it to the comedian who became worried with himself when he started watching fishing on TV.

“I’m not EVEN fishing. I’m watching fishing. I’m TAPING fishing.”

How do people not say that about golf?

Luckily, I found this fantastic top 10 list from bleacher report that really sums it up.

10 Reasons Why Hockey is Better than Golf

10. There are no goalies protecting the hole in golf…where’s the challenge in that?

9. Any “sport” in which you can “compete” with another person in both an activity and a beer-drinking/cigar smoking contest, is not a sport.

8. When a 12-year-old girl and/or 65-year-old grandfather can adequately keep pace with a well-conditioned male in his early 20’s in a “sporting event.” The word “sport” should not even be considered in the activity description.

7. Hockey players are taught strategies such as trapping, dump-and-chase, backchecking, and forechecking. In golf, you hit a ball, you chase it, and then you hit it again. Joke.

6. In hockey, a shot is taken and immediately 10 well-conditioned athletes race for the loose puck. In golf, an overweight, beer-guzzling, school teacher in his late 50’s strolls through some grass to hunt it down or just hops in his cart and pushes the gas pedal.

5. When was the last time you saw “golfer No. 1” throw a solid shoulder check into “golfer No. 2” on the way to the 18th green because “golfer No. 2” slashed “golfer No. 1’s” teammate in the back of the leg on the way to the clubhouse?

4. In golf, the crowd is discouraged from making any noise during a players’ shot. In hockey, the crowd noise is equivalent to placing your ear against the two 18-inch sub-woofers under your best friends’ car seat.

3. In order to play golf, you really only need to have two arms and be able to walk and/or drive a cart. Try strapping on a pair of skates without ever having skated before…

2. I’d like to see Vijay Singh stand toe-to-toe with Laraque, Parros, Boogard, or Chara.

1. In hockey, “dump and chase” is a play that requires significant skill and movement. In golf, it requires a fresh roll of toilet paper and a cart to flee the scene.

Honorable mention: Simply put, Sidney Crosby > Tiger Woods.

Apparently this was created to help put it into perspective after Tiger Woods spoke out in 2008 saying, “I don’t think anybody really watches hockey anymore.”

Mr. Woods, that’s adorable.

 

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